Maybe it’s got something to do with me being 40 years young. Or maybe it’s the culmination of decades of metaphysical searching and psychological study. I’m pretty confident the thousands of people I’ve coached and/or “workshopped” over my 11+ years in biz has at least got something to do with it. Maybe it’s all the listening and personal stories that I’ve heard. It’s also likely thanks to the many cross-cultural experiences I’ve had and the traveling I’ve done…
Whatever the case, I AM SO *OVER* THE WHOLE PARADIGM OF CONCEPTUALIZING THINGS IN TERMS OF MISTAKES. (Except maybe if you break it down to “mis-take”. As in, simply take another take…)
But otherwise, “mistake” and “wrong” are basically synonymous, and I’m done with that. I truly don’t see choices made – especially after the fact – as either right or wrong anymore. I’m over attempts at fitting the things I’ve done, and the changes I’ve made, into rigid little judgement-filled, “should” and “shouldn’t” categories of regret.
And, oh, I’ve done *plenty* of “oops” stuff in my life. (How do you think I got so wise? )
Trust me, I have taken many-a-turn down streets that I backed the heck out of soon after (the one-way kind), and others that were maze-like detours that took some serious navigation to find my way.
But nonetheless, I have grown to love my mis-takes. I mean it.
And I’ve learned that shame need not be a badge you wear as proof that you learned a lesson. Seriously.
If anything, wear a great big bright and colorful badge of self-forgiveness, self-love, personal freedom, and a sense of humor. That is, in my opinion, the best possible outcome of any “mis-take”.
Wrong turn? Big whoopin’ deal. Really. I mean, so what? Now you know. Choices made were made from the level of understanding you had at the time. And when you know better you do better. So, once you know => time to hire a stellar life coach and head in a new direction. [shameless plug I’m not sorry for ]
And, be honest: More likely than not, it probably wasn’t ALL “wrong”, so don’t throw it all out the window unless that’s truly where it belongs. More likely, is that you now have a whole lot more detail and nuanced clarity about what’s a fit for you from here. This is great news. Now go make it happen.
And while you’re at it, don’t hold toooo TIGHT to the new vision, because unnerving as it is, this’ll likely evolve and change too. As long as you’re alive you’re going to continue to grow and change and it only makes sense that your vision will change with you. Once you get wherever “there” is, there will always be another “there” to get to. There’s no guarantee that what fits ‘just right’ NOW won’t be something you’ll outgrow later. (Sorry/You’re welcome. )
And if that happens, it’s just time for (yet another) do-over. I’ve personally coached people ages 21-74. It is NEVER too late to say this is ‘not it’.
From my perspective, this is what being alive is all about. Our world is the laboratory and you and I are the (sometimes mad) scientists. The more lightness and kindness you bring to your experiment called LIFE and its inevitable moment-by-moment unfoldings, the better. Well, that is, assuming you want joyful results.
Please understand: I am not in any way minimizing how difficult the process of moving through such awareness can be, and what’s really involved on the twisty-turny road to playful-living, self-love and self-forgiveness. Having been there, helps me coach others through it. No text book I know of teaches this. I know first-hand how “recalculations” can have some dramatic practical-level and relational-level impact (a.k.a. be extremely messy).
BUT – it’s still all just a big experiment! There’s no eventual “arrival” in the seat of it’s-all-done-now perfection. Until maybe when you’re dead. But you are alive – and so am I – and that means we are all meaning-making, change-making, improvisational manifesters and creators-of-our-own-experience. And not-a-one of us is 100% certain about what the heck we’re doing, or what exactly will result from it.
It’s about being fully alive in the BECOMING.
It’s about living full out.
It’s about going for your dreams, no matter what.
It’s about being a work in progress every minute of every day.
It’s about putting fear in it’s place (in the trunk, not at the steering wheel).
And ultimately it’s about you being YOU because, frankly, you are the world’s leading expert on your heart’s deepest, and evolving, desires.
Be your best and brightest version of you, as often as possible. Cliche as it may be, dance like noone’s watching – and dance like everyone’s watching, because really: who cares. I believe it’s also about leaving a legacy of as much JOY and good juju as you can. If for no grand mission-oriented reason, do it because it’s nice to be remembered well.
Rant over. Thank you. Feel free to take the microphone from here.