One key part of my mission is to turn complex behavioral and psychological concepts into suuuuuper accessible, user-friendly, easy-to-apply strategies that help you experience more joy and wellbeing in your life.
Because I love you and want you to thrive.
Because you don’t need to have studied this stuff for years or have degrees in behavioral psychology to learn from someone who does … that is, so long as that person (me) keeps it REAL and breaks things into simple, relatable, straight-talking micro-steps that make your life better.
So. That’s what I’m committed to.
With this said, can we talk about breakfast for a minute?
What I love about breakfast, besides the eating part, is that it’s a habit we ALL have.
Regardless of WHAT you eat. (This is not a message about your diet.)
Regardless of WHEN you eat. (Perhaps you fast until 2pm, or eat early. Do you.)
Unless you’re in the midst of a daylong fast … somewhere in the course of your day, I’m going to assume you, quite literally, break-fast.
From an applied psychology perspective, this is great news for two reasons:
- Because eating breakfast has built-in rewards … namely, that hunger gets satisfied, but also the pleasure of happy taste buds. (a.k.a. positive reinforcement)
- Because eating your first meal of the day is part of your routine. (a.k.a. conditioned behavior pattern, an established habit)
Here’s how this simple, daily, built-in habit provides you with a fabulous opportunity:👇
The behavioral and brain science is clear. Changing habits is most effective when you add a new habit (as opposed to trying to stop an old habit).
Let’s say, for example, that you aspire to:
- read more books, or
- build more physical strength, or
- learn a new language, or
- prepare more healthy meals, or
- start a meditation practice, or
- (fill in the blank with something that’s true for you)…
Since breakfast is an already established habit, it presents a PERFECT opportunity for you to add, in an effort to build on and establish more helpful habits into your routine.
For example, you might add …
- 30 minutes of reading, or
- 50 squats, or
- a Duolingo lesson, or
- making a big salad so it’s ready to eat for lunch, or
- 10 minutes of meditation, or
- whatever new habit will best support your goals
… all BEFORE you get rewarded by having breakfast.
To be clear, I recommend picking ONE thing you’ll add to your routine. ONE thing you decide you’re going to be sure to do BEFORE you eat breakfast. I also recommend doing it for at least 7 days, consistently, before considering adding any other new habits to the mix.
So, what supportive new habit will YOU add to your pre-breakfast routine? I’d love to hear!
Small changes add up. And small steps – if they’re the right steps – can be absolutely transformative: they build your confidence, they break old patterns, they free up energy, and they make you that much more ready and able to take on the bigger stuff.
Want to learn more ways to disrupt old patterns, build positive new habits, establish expansive new levels of empowerment, and experience a new kind of freedom in your life?
JOIN ME for my upcoming in-person special event where we’ll not only break bread, we’ll break brules! 😉 Click here to learn more and claim your seat at the table!
I interrupt this broadcast …
Many of the things we do are automatic. They’re instilled and engrained in us by what we’ve been taught and socially conditioned to do – or not do.
So much so, that autopilot kicks in. RARELY do we (adults) stop to question or revisit or reassess if such habits and patterns make sense/feel good/are aligned, now.
What you do matters.
Whether you do it consciously or unconsciously.
Whether what you do is supportive or detrimental.
What you do impacts everything you think, feel, believe, and create.
One way or another, for better or worse, these patterns sustain your experience. They feed your beliefs, and they perpetuate your behaviors. It’s the quintessential old-dog-new-tricks-dynamic.
Not ONLY does what you do matter, but the environments you do them in, matter.
Where you do what you do ALSO helps to either perpetuate or disrupt your habits – whether good or bad, supportive or detrimental.
Here’s the really good news:
Creating a change in your routine can have unexpectedly powerful positive impacts!
But, like that old dog, you aren’t likely to discover them unless you experiment and find out.
You have the power to bring the psychology of change into your life in SUPER simple ways. Wonderfully empowering, life-enhancing ways … all while making discoveries about how to further elevate your happiness and wellbeing!
Sounds good, right?
And it works. It works because challenging conventional default modes creates a break in pattern, and this disruption of the old way, opens up opportunities for the new to come in.
Here are two simple ways to create a positive pattern interruption in your life:
(1) Do something different, or do something you already do but in a NEW way. Neither of these require you to go anywhere. As you move through your day, simply experiment with doing something even slightly different than usual. Shaking up your personal status quo could be as simple as wearing something you never wear, or cooking something you’ve never cooked before, or perhaps you don’t even change WHAT you do, but you switch up the order you do it in. Simple enough, right? Play with it, and see what you discover.
(2) Change your environment. If you know me at all, you know that I love to travel. I love how new environments inspire me in different ways. I love variety – be it a new state, country, landscape, or even just a new corner of a favorite cafe. On September 23, I will be in New Hampshire for a special event and you’re invited to JOIN me!
I am hosting this first-of-its-kind gathering that is really all about pattern interruption (a.k.a. brule breaking). Brule breaking provides a fresh approach and framework to deconstruct and challenge limiting perspectives, shift your unhelpful habits, and discover expansive new levels of awareness so that you can establish new more empowering, supportive, dream-accelerating patterns (a.k.a. the good stuff).
And THIS has the effect of naturally activating momentum, putting that skip in your step as you create more of what you desire in life.
How will YOU interrupt your regularly scheduled program?
What pattern interruption will you choose?
Comment below and tell me about it.
Ok, now you can return to your regularly scheduled program… if you wish. 😉
PS – This special event is just one hour from Boston, two hours from Providence, and just 30 minutes from Portsmouth’s airport. An easy drive or fly to beautiful New Hampshire — September 23 — in my opinion, the best time of year to be there.
Last week I announced that I’m doing a special in-person event. At this event, one thing I’ll be sharing is a vulnerable story about a personal blind spot – one that I honestly only ever thought I’d share with my closest friends.
I’m scared and excited.
I don’t often share personal things in professional settings. So, it’s a really big deal for me and I’d be so honored if you want to come join in the experience with me.
Part of why I don’t tend to share personal things has to do with professional boundaries.
It’s a judgment call, of course. But sometimes I see others in my industry use the word “vulnerability” when sharing something that strikes me as a positive spin on what is actually just oversharing.
Just my opinion, of course.
But my point is – I’m careful about it.
Coaching individuals for decades has taught me a lot about what really helps people realize their dreams and goals. What I know is that helping people see blind spots and clear the mental and emotional blocks that are limiting them is far more effective, transformational, and lasting than telling people how to live or what to do.
When it comes to my professional life, I only ever want to share something vulnerable when I’m sure it has purpose. By this, I mean, I need to be sure it enhances a message or teaching in a way that wouldn’t be as potent without the personal story. I don’t just share to share or to demonstrate vulnerability for the sake of it.
I want to first feel sure it helps deliver something that has the power to change lives.
And, this time, after much reflection, I’m sure.
I think it’s going to be an amazing experience where I get to share with you and, if you choose, you get to share with me too. And together, we can walk away from this powerful gathering clear about what is going to have a big impact for each of us.
Shining a light on socially-steeped ideas that impede people from living full-out is what helps create swift and positive change.
Removing mental and emotional obstacles clears the path.
And this naturally activates the momentum needed to create more of what is desired in life.
As I allow the natural momentum around my mission (to revolutionize and optimize the human experience by helping people create the life they think they cannot have), I am trusting this next iteration of where I’m being led.
Brule breaking provides a fresh approach and framework to deconstruct and challenge limiting perspectives. It shifts unhelpful habits. Brule breaking builds expansive levels of awareness, and establishes new patterns so that you too can create the life you think you cannot have.
I hope you’ll join me. To claim a seat at The Brule Breakers Brunch in New England on September 23rd, click here.
Brule is not just a sassy word to know, it’s also a word to understand!
On September 23rd, I’ll be sharing something I’ve never before shared publicly: a personal story about navigating a huge blind spot. Other than the exception of a few close friends, I never imagined I’d be telling this story. After some debate, I’ve decided to do it for one reason: it is the best way I know to demonstrate a teaching that has the power to change lives.
So share, I will. And – you’re invited to be in the room when I do.
Inspired by my book, The Brules of Life, I am hosting The Brule Breakers Brunch – a special in-person gathering for people who want to break the “brules” that hold them back from the life they desire.
In case you’re not familiar with the term, “brule” is sassy slang, for bullsh*t rules. 😜 BUT – it’s so much more than a sassy word!
Brules are psychological and behavioral blind spots that impede and prevent people from thriving. And they’re sneaky. They tend to hide in plain sight! (read: We ALL have them!)
Like, for example, “Be independent” is a brule. Independence is a lie. A delusion. A myth. An impossible goal given that the truth of our interdependence is inherent and unavoidable, with evidence of this fact everywhere! (See chapter 7 in The Brules of Life for more on this critical brule to break, especially if you’re someone who feels stubborn pride – as I did before I busted through this brule – about your so-called “independence.”)
The brules that tend to hold us back the most are the ones that SEEM true and therefore go unquestioned and remain a blind spot in your unconscious, impeding you from thriving.
Blind spots happen when “brules” become embodied beliefs.
Understanding the significance of what this word really means and really represents for YOU is critically important to everything you desire in life … because seeing a blind spot and breaking even ONE brule can change the trajectory of your entire life.
It did mine!
Brule is a sassy word to know AND understand!
What if … you are just one shift, one decision, one brule-busting breakthrough away from everything you want?
I will be presenting at a special first-of-its-kind event in Exeter, New Hampshire (1 hour from Boston, 2 hours from Providence, 30 minutes from Portsmouth Airport).
JOIN ME for this special in-person event!
In addition to good food, new friends, raffle prizes and presents, you will learn:
- the applied psychology of brule-breaking
- how to go beyond seeming “limits” to create the life you think you cannot have
- how to powerfully deconstruct any brule
- the top 3 brules to break and how breaking them can open the door to a new kind of freedom.
This is an intimate event – space is very limited.
If you can be there, great! Save your seat here. I can’t wait to see you!
If you can’t be there on September 23 but still want to learn more about brules … I’ve got something for you too: Grab my FREE Book of Brules bonus chapter,The Only Skill You Ever Need. Learn the skill that makes all the difference, especially if dreaming feels carefree in ways that you do not.
Every time I sit down to write to you, my goal is (1) to provide thoughtful ways for you to feel more free and get to know yourself better, (2) to inspire you to trust your dreams more than your fears/more than you did yesterday and (3) offer some ideas for how to develop the personal habits and actions that make those dreams REAL.
In this bonus chapter, I believe I have done all three.
To success on your own terms,
This accidental poem fell out of my mouth during a recent client coaching call:
“You don’t have to hate it, to delegate it.”
(I’m a poet and I didn’t even realize it. 😉)
Look, here’s the thing: Just because you’re *able* to do something, and just because you don’t totally dislike doing that thing, does not mean it is best that YOU do it.
Hear me on this!
Competency does not = required to be done by you.
In other words, just because you CAN does not mean you HAVE TO.
** Most people assume (or at least act like) it does. Consider this one more way you can be different than the masses and color outside the lines of groupthink. **
Another common belief that often trips people up is the belief that you need to be rich to start handing off your “things I’m capable of doing but don’t necessarily adore doing” list.
No. You do not need to be rich.
What you do need, though, is to be willing to realign your priorities.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if I asked you “What do you want so badly it hurts?” and “What do you wish you could devote your energy to 100%?” … that the following things would NOT be on that list:
- Grocery shopping
- Paying bills
- Troubleshooting with tech support in an online chat
- Getting your printer to work
- Sitting on hold with customer service
… just to name a few.
One thing my private clients and I often work on together is building their Dream Team – their support team – because, truth be told, the ONLY way to ever even come CLOSE to doing the top things you wish you could devote all your energy to… is going to require that you:
(1) get super efficient with your time
(2) be super discerning and diligent about how you manage your energy, and
(3) that you delegate tasks to others
Nothing shoots your dreams and joys in the foot faster than “I have to do everything by myself” beliefs.
In order to free your time, your energy, your creativity, and in order to be able and available to focus on and DO more of what you’re wanting to … you’ll need to stop with the “I do it all” nonsense. (Bossy, I know. I’m not sorry about it. I’m on your team!)
So, to help with this effort, today I’m sharing a few valuable tips and tools so that you can experience MORE of the delights and benefits available to you – all by intentionally simplifying, outsourcing, systematizing, and delegating. Yay!
Please note: None of the links below are referral links. I don’t earn anything for referring you to these websites or companies. I share because I care. (Hey, another poem!) 😊
Ok, here they are, in no particular order:
- TaskRabbit – An online marketplace that matches freelance labor with local demand, allowing customers to find help with everyday tasks, including furniture assembly, moving, delivery, and handyperson work.
- Fiverr – This online platform connects freelancers to people or businesses looking to hire for a diverse range of skills, delivered virtually.
- Upwork – Like Fiverr, this online platform connects freelancers to people or businesses looking to hire for a diverse range of professional services, from short projects to full-time positions.
- Geeksquad – Offering both in-person and remote support to solve computer problems, get troubleshooting support for a range of products and tech questions, or finally learn how to use all the buttons on that remote control. 🙂
- FancyHands – This online platform connects you with a large team of virtual assistants able to get tasks done for you, day and night.
- Peapod – A great time-saver that allows you to order your groceries online and have them delivered to your doorstep, be it once a week or once a month.
- Rover – This worldwide online marketplace is a global network for pet care. No matter where you are, you can book a trusted person to care for your cat, or walk your dog, be it day-time services or overnight care.
Lord knows, there are countless ways to use technology to support you!
Like, for example…
- Maybe you set up automated payments for all your monthly bills (resulting in one less to-do on your list).
- Maybe you set Alexa to play your favorite workout playlist at the exact time you’ve promised yourself you’ll exercise.
Speaking of exercise, do you have a gym membership? If so…
- Go VIP by springing for a locker rental. Get yourself duplicates of your favorite shampoo, deodorant, etc. and store them in your locker along with a few outfits, protein shake mix, and whatever else helps you feel supported. This way, each time you go to the gym, you can go directly from the gym to wherever you’re headed next with one less thing you need to think about or plan ahead for. This’ll help ensure you get your workout in and have more ease in your day.
Decide that you are worth it.
Little decisions to invest in yourself add up and can make a big difference!
Here’s one more tip …
Do you miss friends and family and wish you talked more often?
- Make a list of who those people are. Reach out to them and propose setting up regularly scheduled phone-dates so that you stay in touch and ensure too much time doesn’t pass before you speak again. Easy-breezy.
Again, these are obviously just a few ideas. There are COUNTLESS ways to customize and find creative solutions based on your needs, resources, interests, priorities, etc.
Pick one or two and start there.
Oh, and, psssst…
Especially if you’re feeling short on cash…
This list of resources and companies aren’t just places you can hire from. Many of them are also places you can set up an account, create a profile, and provide services through. Be it renting out your guest bedroom on Airbnb, or offering your love of gardening to the lady with the unkept yard down the street, or providing editing services, or dog walking, or app building, or face painting, or whatever your talents are … you can use one or more of these freelance platforms to earn yourself some extra money. (Money that you can then choose to reinvest in building out your own Dream Team and getting the support that’ll make YOUR life better, and better, and better.)
Last by not least, here’s a client example to get your wheels turning about how you might apply this to your life:
A photographer client of mine does private photo shoots for her customers. She then edits those pictures before showing them to the customer, who chooses their selections. A very talented photographer and artist in general, she doesn’t hate photo editing. In fact, she enjoys many of the creative aspects involved in the editing process. She also enjoys having creative control when it comes to making edits according to her eye, her specifics, and her style. BUT – editing photos is very time consuming. The more edits she has to do, the less time she has available to line up more photo shoots, and the more “behind” she feels due to customers eagerly waiting to see their images. One option, of course, is she can book fewer photo shoots, allowing more time in between for editing. But this means less time spent doing what she loves: photography and the in-person connection that comes with time spent with her customers during photo shoots.
What would YOU do?
Where do you see yourself in any of this? How might this example apply to what YOU want to be doing more of?
Comment below and tell me where you’re going to delegate more.
What if, rather than spending less time doing something she truly loves doing – and making less money doing it – she were to delegate the editing? And what if she finds someone with a keen eye to edit her photos for her? What becomes possible when she frees up more time and energy to be available to do what she loves, and profits from, most?
As you to apply this to yourself, consider:
- What would you rather not do?
- What would you prefer to do instead?
- How can you delegate, streamline, and optimize in order to support more of what you want and less of what you don’t?
Coaching helps with ALL of this. If you’re ready to expand your Dream Team by adding your favorite life coach 😉 to YOUR support team, reach out today so we can explore how I can best serve YOU!
PS – For more client inspiration, click here to read what my clients say about our work together and, if it feels right, book a call so we can talk about what us working together can do for you.
In order to make your dreams real, it is very important that we create a space where your dreams and goals are gaining accelerated momentum.
Accelerated momentum is when renewed zest for life and a new kind of confidence takes hold within you.
It’s when the life you’ve been trying to breathe into your dreams, starts breathing life into YOU!
When accelerated momentum takes hold, you are no longer caught in the weeds, no longer doubting or questioning if you will live your dreams, no longer believing that you can’t, and no longer making or buying your own excuses.
Accelerated momentum is essential because dreams require energy and attention! And when your energy is scattered, or you’re waffling between this choice and that choice, this action and that action, or in a constant start, stop, start, stop, start, stop rhythm … momentum doesn’t ever have a chance to really get rolling.
Here are 3 keys to creating accelerated momentum on behalf of YOUR dreams:
(1) Teamwork makes the dream work. Private coaching is one of the most powerful forms of support you’ll ever experience. Gain personalized feedback, accountability, brainstorming, resources and highly focused, forward-oriented coaching – all personalized to YOU.
Like Kimberly … who had this to say about her experience in The Dream Acceleration Program: “I learned a process of becoming more, becoming my best self. I did the work of transforming my dreary existence into a beautiful life, but I couldn’t have done it without Tara’s coaching. She holds the space for you to truly up-level your life, and guides you through the process of becoming your fully actualized self.”
(2) Go beyond fear and doubt. Fear is a normal natural part of the process, but we want to make sure it’s not directing your decisions and your life. One key skill to learn is how to master the psychology of fear and build your courage.
Like Rob, who had this to say about his experience in The Dream Acceleration Program: “I’ll admit, I was a little skeptical about spending the money, but I think that in itself is when you have a breakthrough moment … when YOU decide to invest in YOU! Once you make the commitment to pursue what you want most out of life, Tara can take you there.”
(3) Build your belief along with your skills. Step by step, create real momentum on a life that reflects your deepest dreams and desires. From there, anything you want in the future will be yours because you will have the tools to create it!
Like Stephanie … who had this to say about her experience in The Dream Acceleration Program: “I learned how to eliminate the obstacles and move towards my dreams with energy and enthusiasm. This process is one I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I now feel as if there is nothing I cannot do or conquer.”
Want to learn more and join me for this 6-month private one-on-one coaching space, where we start from exactly where YOU are, and work on managing your energy, prioritizing what to give your attention and energy to, clarifying and removing obstacles, and planning out and providing you with complete support to step into a bigger vision for who you are and how you get to live?
If yes, I’m happy to chat and explore together how this process can make your blind spots vanish and new possibilities emerge, so that you finally create and live the life you’ve dreamed of. Claim a spot on my calendar for a call at www.sessionwithtara.com.