Brule – a sassy word to know AND understand!

Brule – a sassy word to know AND understand!

Brule is not just a sassy word to know, it’s also a word to understand!

On September 23rd, I’ll be sharing something I’ve never before shared publicly: a personal story about navigating a huge blind spot. Other than the exception of a few close friends, I never imagined I’d be telling this story. After some debate, I’ve decided to do it for one reason: it is the best way I know to demonstrate a teaching that has the power to change lives.

So share, I will. And – you’re invited to be in the room when I do.

Inspired by my book, The Brules of Life, I am hosting The Brule Breakers Brunch – a special in-person gathering for people who want to break the “brules” that hold them back from the life they desire.

In case you’re not familiar with the term, “brule” is sassy slang, for bullsh*t rules. 😜 BUT – it’s so much more than a sassy word!

Brules are psychological and behavioral blind spots that impede and prevent people from thriving. And they’re sneaky. They tend to hide in plain sight! (read: We ALL have them!) 

Like, for example, “Be independent” is a brule. Independence is a lie. A delusion. A myth. An impossible goal given that the truth of our interdependence is inherent and unavoidable, with evidence of this fact everywhere! (See chapter 7 in The Brules of Life for more on this critical brule to break, especially if you’re someone who feels stubborn pride – as I did before I busted through this brule – about your so-called “independence.”)

The brules that tend to hold us back the most are the ones that SEEM true and therefore go unquestioned and remain a blind spot in your unconscious, impeding you from thriving.

Blind spots happen when “brules” become embodied beliefs. 

Understanding the significance of what this word really means and really represents for YOU is critically important to everything you desire in life … because seeing a blind spot and breaking even ONE brule can change the trajectory of your entire life. 

It did mine!

Brule is a sassy word to know AND understand!

What if … you are just one shift, one decision, one brule-busting breakthrough away from everything you want? 

I will be presenting at a special first-of-its-kind event in Exeter, New Hampshire (1 hour from Boston, 2 hours from Providence, 30 minutes from Portsmouth Airport). 

JOIN ME for this special in-person event!

In addition to good food, new friends, raffle prizes and presents, you will learn:

  • the applied psychology of brule-breaking
  • how to go beyond seeming “limits” to create the life you think you cannot have
  • how to powerfully deconstruct any brule
  • the top 3 brules to break and how breaking them can open the door to a new kind of freedom. 

This is an intimate event – space is very limited.

If you can be there, great!  Save your seat here. I can’t wait to see you!

If you can’t be there on September 23 but still want to learn more about brules … I’ve got something for you too: Grab my FREE Book of Brules bonus chapter,The Only Skill You Ever Need. Learn the skill that makes all the difference, especially if dreaming feels carefree in ways that you do not.

Every time I sit down to write to you, my goal is (1) to provide thoughtful ways for you to feel more free and get to know yourself better, (2) to inspire you to trust your dreams more than your fears/more than you did yesterday and (3) offer some ideas for how to develop the personal habits and actions that make those dreams REAL. 

In this bonus chapter, I believe I have done all three.

>>> https://tarasagecoaching.com/os/

To success on your own terms, 

5 quirky confessions & unconventional résumé builders

5 quirky confessions & unconventional résumé builders

Every time I sit down to write to you, my goal is threefold: (1) to provide thoughtful ways for you to feel more free and get to know yourself better, (2) inspire you to trust your dreams more than your fears/more than you did yesterday, and (3) offer some ideas for how to develop the personal habits and actions that make those dreams REAL.

Here are 5 quirky confessions, things that’ll help you understand why this drives me, week after week. A unique résumé, of sorts.

1. I cut my own hair

For many years now, I’ve been cutting my own hair. It’s not perfect – but it’s good enough. (It grows back.) And, like most things, the more I do it, the better I get at it. Regular hair appointments never felt like something I wanted to do. I wanted the result, but not the experience of making the appointment, having to devote a good chunk of an afternoon to drive to the appointment, find parking, sit in the chair, endure small talk, hear small talk from others nearby, wash, rinse, dry, more small talk, pay, leave, repeat … all for a haircut! No thanks. For a while, in an effort to extend the time between haircuts, I asked for a cut that was shorter than what I actually wanted. “I’ll like it in three weeks,” I told myself. Until I finally said, screw that and started cutting my own hair. Now, I keep my hair the length I want, all the time. And – I save time, money, energy, and small talk. Things to gleam from this: There are no “have tos”. You get to choose which “norms” you subscribe to. Don’t let the beauty industry (or any industry) tell you how to think or what to do. You can do brave big little things that add up, and save you time, energy, money, and frustration. Why settle or tolerate? There are many ways to get the results that you want.

2. I am location-independent

An RV nomad for more than 5 years, I call an Airstream home. In other words, ‘make life an adventure’ isn’t a trite sentiment, it’s a way of life! You of course don’t have to live in an Airstream or travel if that’s not your thing. But, whatever horizons are calling YOU, you can be darn sure that I hold them as valid, important, and inspired (even if it makes about as much rational sense as the shoe-lover that I am, calling a 27’ condo-on-wheels with far too little closet space, home). 😀 As your coach, I support you every step of the way, ensuring that you have a full tank of fuel and the guidance needed to skillfully navigate and accelerate your way to the life YOU dream of for yourself. 

3. I ran away as a kid

If you feel a bit like a caged bird, trapped in any way – be it in a job, home, body, relationship, or [fill in the blank with your own] – constrained by the belief you can’t actually have the life you really want… I empathic-ly and viscerally FEEL that. As your coach, I help you climb out of that metaphorical window and create the freedom you want. I will be running down that street with you, there for the gleeful moments, the sob-it-out moments, and the “what now?” moments. AND – because we’re grown ups and know that true freedom isn’t about what you run from, we’ll get you crystal clear on the life you want to be running toward and set you up with a proven process to get there, full steam ahead! Because creating a life you love is a ridiculous thing to put off, amiright?

4. I believe life is art

Your life is an original work. You are here to create something as unique as you are. Something I have said many times is, “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” For me, writing is central to my own artful creative life. It’s a place where I find myself, express myself, reveal myself, and clarify what I feel, think, want, and know. Creativity is life force and MUST be expressed for life to be truly satisfying and gratifying. While writing is a primary way that I find my own full expression, it need not be your way – obviously. Your way is your way, and I respect and hold in the highest regard YOUR bubbling creativity and the importance of you finding your unique way to full expression. I am well-versed in the realm of creativity, both as a creator and a connoisseur, and will always respect, encourage, and support your unique process.

5. I’m a life coach who salsa dances

What this means for you is that when you hire me and I do a happy dance to celebrate your successes (of which there will be many!) … my booty shakes, my shoulders shimmy, and I happily dance loooong after my feet hurt.

There you have it. Five rather unconventional credentials, but “cred” nonetheless. In some ways perhaps even more important than my formal education, certifications, Bachelors and Masters degrees!

What do you think?

Comment below and let’s have some fun with this. Share a quirky unconventional example of your own credibility!

I’m not a magician, but I do spark some magic

I’m not a magician, but I do spark some magic

As responsible grown-up humans who get to decide such things, the exchange my clients and I agree on, is one of value.

A burnt-out bank executive who achieved all the markers of “success” was able to tell his family how he really feels, make a major career shift, find a new kind of rhythm in his life, and grow his hair out – a symbolic and liberating choice made with profound and newfound joy.

A cancer survivor and former economist built her photography business, became a mindfulness practitioner, and increased her sales revenue 117% during our year of coaching together.

A dental hygienist, single mother of three grown sons, fulfilled her dream of moving to Costa Rica. (I was invited by her sister to the surprise farewell party.)

A client was able to visualize, believe herself worthy of – and then successfully negotiate for – a salary that was 40% higher than the one she was originally going to ask for.

An aspiring actor went after the dream career he wondered if was possible. (He’s now an equity actor’s association member and you may have seen him on one of his TV debuts).

A woman decided to leave the corporate world that had her falling into bed at night sad and exhausted, to create a life that, in her words, is “totally blossoming.”

A leadership coach doubled her income and generated her best revenue year in business while having more fun, spending her time how she chooses.

A frustrated professional organizer went from stressed out, a “lone ranger” caught in I’ll-do-it-myself energy, to shifting her worldview and choices for a life of joy, freedom, and teamwork.

A weary elementary school teacher created a business that leveraged her gifts in a way that “feels like play.”

An aspiring stationary artist went from daunted and intimidated by her “maybe someday” dream, to actively pursuing and well on her way to running a full-time letterpress studio, after only a few months of coaching together.

A business owner developed a signature talk and strategically accessed a network of organizations eager for her to share her work with their members, the exact target market her offerings are designed to serve.

Countless others have cleared blind spots and roadblocks from their path, shifted the trajectory of their life, and put a clear custom-designed plan into motion for more joy, freedom, and satisfaction.

I have ALSO had clients quit mid-way through and not get the results they wanted. (I’m a coach, not a magician.)

While I of course can’t guarantee YOUR results, what I can guarantee is that, as your coach, I will have your back 110%, every step of the way, holding nothing back, and will provide you with the tools and strategies to help you make it happen.

As long as you’re here for it, I will be here for it. We’ll work together to create a space and a world and a life where your dreams are real and your life feels good and you are satisfied and supported.

Wanna experience this for yourself ? Click here

To your success,

 

That time I lost $18,000

That time I lost $18,000

 

I called it a leap of faith. But in retrospect it was foolish.

A few years back, I made a bad financial decision.

I paid $10,000 to have someone run ads for me. I told myself that I was investing in something that was going to help me grow my business, to reach and ultimately serve more people. I assumed her shiny advertising, financial claims, and willingness to take my money (er, I mean, take me on as a client) meant next level success for me was inevitable.

On top of paying her $10,000 fee, I, of course, had to pay too for the ads themselves. Meeting over Zoom each week, for months, she gave me weekly updates on the “testing” of various ad campaigns that she and her team were doing on my behalf, always implying that my ROI was just around the corner. Welp, another $8,000 later, I pulled the plug. I sent her an email and asked for a refund on “services” that not only resulted in zero ROI, but an $18,000 LOSS.

Her reply? She blocked me on all social media channels and stopped taking my calls.

I contacted the Better Business Bureau. I spoke to lawyers.

And quickly learned that I had little recourse. A tough pill to swallow.

Lessons Learned

Determined to get SOME value out of the experience (which felt not only like a financial failure but also a painful and costly loss of time), here were my two biggest lessons learned:

1.) I gained a lesson in discernment. Instead of asking the hard questions, like, “what does my business need in order to grow?” and “what kind of support will best help me do that?”… I hoped, and chose to bank on the idea that throwing money at something would be the solution. I wanted to believe that making big business investments and bold moves made me some kind of brave “big leap” hero human boss.

But the truth is, I was avoiding work I very much needed to do and very much wanted to skip over. In hiring her, I had (attempted to) outsource. But what I actually did was give away the reins. I am responsible for that mistake. Seeking expert support is one thing. Handing over the reins to someone for a “Done For You” service that takes you out of the loop of your own business’ leadership, is foolish. The same is true for your life.

2.) This experience taught me what kind of support I actually needed. I needed someone who would partner with me, ask the tough questions, challenge me, teach me, and help me organize systems and strategies that work for me. Trial and error, getting in the arena, being willing to endure some growing pains, ALL required. This cannot be outsourced. But – having someone who is there for my questions, who prompts me to go further than I ever would on my own, who provides me with expertise that isn’t my own, who offers a sounding board for ideas, who recommends tweaks, edits, and ”try again”s, and who – especially when all I can see is what’s right in front of me – has the foresight, experience, and clear plan for how to navigate what’s just around the bend. INVALUABLE.

Having someone on my ‘Dream Team’ who holds the space for me when I bump up against my comfort zone, who teaches me what’s needed when the limits of my own knowledge leave me unsure, cannot be calculated. Bottom line: I needed to do the work AND hold the reins. But – I didn’t need to do it unsupported. Success becomes inevitable when you have the right support.      

It’s scary to do the work that makes all the difference.

It’s challenging to learn new skills and let go of old habits.

It can be hard to take responsibility for mistakes, and even harder to course correct.

But, I’m also here to say that the right support makes it all worth it. It’s the one clear way to ensure your results – your joy, your happiness, your dreams, your needs, your desires, your survival, your THRIVAL.

And that’s WHY I spent that money. Because I know and understand that investing in yourself (and in your business) is so powerful and important. But – with so many options and offers out there, the biggest challenge can be finding the support that is right for YOU.

Finding the right support

The right support is not about just finding a quick solution or someone else solving your problem. It’s about widening your own lens and holding yourself accountable to taking the next step. It’s about showing up for what you say you want, even when it’s hard. It’s about understanding why you haven’t been able to create a result before, with the resources that you have.

For me, for example, a Facebook ad wasn’t going to get me to the next level of success if what was really needed was improved messaging. Do you see what I mean?

There are FIVE ELEMENTS that make private coaching with me a unique and powerful combo.

As you read each one, I invite you to consider: How might this help YOU get to the next level of your own success?

(1) Energy management – Learn why ‘time management’ is not the answer, and what to do instead. I provide you with the exact tools, teachings, and strategies to stop feeling scattered and like you don’t have enough time for the things you want to do. I’ll be there to help you understand and apply this pivotal approach, do a comprehensive ‘energy inventory’, and support you through every step of its implementation so that you can free yourself from time constraints and experience next-level personal freedom.

(2) “Brule” breaking – “Brule” is slang for bullshit rules. Brules are blind spots, and what makes them so hard to see is that they hide in plain sight! For this reason, brules typically go unnoticed and unquestioned. I literally wrote the book on the subject and I promise, I’m going to help you see them. There are countless brules. But, even ONE single brule breakthrough has the power to positively impact absolutely every area of your life. Once you start seeing them, once you start seeing the blind spots that’ve been holding you back, you won’t be able to unsee them. And this changes ev.er.y.thing.

(3) Dream acceleration – Dreams are the voice of your soul. Together, we will unlock your access to hear this voice with beautiful clarity and see your way to the truth of what you REALLY want. From there, I will guide you through a proven process to create it. Simple, fierce, supported. You’ll be on track, fast.

(4) Thought work – As obstacles pop up, you’ll have steadfast support on your side to do the inner work to stop self-limiting beliefs from running the show so that you can take back the wheel, moving forward while being kind to yourself.

(5) Behavior mod – My psychology education, training, and experience is deeply rooted in behavior modification. I’ll teach you proven techniques to overcome your fears, activate your courage, and build powerful new supportive habits that stick!

When you become a private coaching client of mine, all of these get rolled into one totally customized-to-you experience!

The right support is what makes ALL the difference.

It’s the difference between achieving your dreams and always wondering what could have been.

It’s the difference between finally seeing your blind spots, awakening to a new kind of freedom, and continuing to struggle to make a change.

It’s the difference between having breakthroughs you celebrate, and having fear and resistance run the show.

It’s the difference between consistently showing up for what you want and endlessly ruminating about what you want.

It’s the difference between momentum and celebration, and stagnation and frustration.

Wanna experience this for yourself? Click here

 

What I missed on the way to my dreams

What I missed on the way to my dreams

On a good day, I felt restless. On a bad day, I felt like a caged animal.

Exasperated, I came home from work to my dark, musty, basement apartment – a glaring reminder that I was not just figuratively, but literally, underground. Drowning in student loan debt, I rarely answered my phone because collection agencies were calling me daily. Trying to find my way in the world wasn’t easy. Emotional and practical baggage of difficult family dynamics and estrangement seemed to be hitting me all at once. I felt like a victim of circumstances, dealt an unfortunate hand, profoundly alone in my struggles.

The job I begrudgingly got at an Ivy League university to establish some stability, looked good on paper, but my soul was dying, a little more every day. If I had to sit through one more hour-long meeting that could have been communicated by an email, I was going to lose it. Things were done in inefficient ways for no reason other than it’s the way they’d always done it. This felt archaic to me, but rethinking conventions wasn’t welcomed or encouraged. Waiting for that clock on the wall to read 5:00 felt like an insult to my personal integrity and pride, not to mention that I’d finished my work hours earlier. And the starched button down shirt I wore, because I thought I should, felt like a straight-jacket, a costume that belonged to someone else – but not me.

I knew I couldn’t stay.

While going through the motions on all the things I thought I was supposed to do, I was losing myself. On autopilot, I’d drive to work, or the grocery store, or the gym (when I could get myself to go) feeling more and more disconnected from who I was. I wasn’t challenged. I wasn’t inspired. I felt contained, micro-managed, and caught in status quo games that I didn’t want to play.

I felt like I was drowning, and I knew no one was coming to save me.

Underneath my restlessness and frustration, was a growing sense that I was meant for MORE, that this couldn’t possibly be all I was meant to do, be, or have.

I knew I needed to take the reins and reshape my life, to reshape my reality, to figure out how to not live in a basement apartment forever, to create a life that was my own, that reflected the truth of who I was.

It was from that dark musty basement apartment, that I gazed out that teeny-tiny window with a view of the sidewalk and the tires of cars passing by … and I’d dream.

I dreamed of:

having the freedom to travel when and where I please
√ having my own location-independent company so that I could work from anywhere
a home with lots of natural light
becoming a bestselling author
wealth on my own terms
finding love
having time and energy for creativity and play
making a positive impact, serving others in meaningful ways that made their life better
being myself without boundaries.

The voice of my soul, and seeds of my own self-actualization, were surfacing.

There was a huge difference between the caged, soul-crushing, autopilot life I felt constrained and uninspired by, and my dreams. The problem was I couldn’t figure out how and where to find a bridge between the two.

A few things were missing, and when I finally figured those out, everything changed. Quickly.

What was missing was…

  • Self-trust
  • Belief that dreams my were possible – for not just other people, but for me
  • A way to see and transform my blind spots and expand my thinking

I needed to step up for myself, rather than waiting around for things to change, or others to approve. I needed to go from complaining about what my life currently was to becoming the person that COULD and WOULD move out of it.

What I needed to learn was…

  • How to manage my energy
  • What to do with fear
  • How to navigate naysayers

I needed the skills and support to take the REINS on my life, to listen to my heart, and really take ownership of the life I dreamed and envisioned for myself. To stop fear from running the show, I needed to get out of my head and shift my focus from all the seeming limits of my current circumstance to finding strategies and ways forward that I couldn’t yet see but chose to believe were there to be found.

What I needed to do was…

  • Get the right support
  • Take brave consistent action
  • Show up fully for what I was saying I wanted

I needed support from someone who’d been there. And perspective OUTSIDE what I’d already tried, a shift out of what had created the life I had, and into creating the totally different life I wanted.

So, I got support. And I changed my thinking. And I became a different version of me.

Spoiler alert: It worked.

Not only have I achieved my “impossible” dreams and the freedom I so craved, I have built a business and a profoundly fulfilling, decades-long, career around helping others rethink conventions, chart their own course, live their dreams, rediscover themselves, and realize what’s possible.

I help you create the life you think you cannot have. 

Your dreams, like mine, are fuel on your path to self-actualization.

The first step along the way to THAT life? Want the key to reclaiming what’s missing, to create everything you want for yourself, to finally make that change? >>> The Only Skill You Ever Need

xo,

P.S. Going after your dream life, finally living it, moving from your life now to the life you want to have – all of this can feel completely overwhelming! How do you know what you want? How do you GET what you want? Where do you start? How do you face all the uncertainty and that huge climb from where you are now to the life of your dreams?

There’s one skill that unlocks all the rest.

And my totally free and totally updated Only Skill You Ever Need guide and bonus chapter goes through exactly that.

Ready for that dream life of yours?

Planning for a big year

Planning for a big year

Welp, here we are …

The new year is just around the bend.

It’s been an(other) unusual twelve months and I think it’s fair to say, no one has gone unchallenged this year. Yet in the midst of the challenges, we’ve also each been presented with some unique opportunities: to embrace a new kind of rhythm, to make lifestyle adjustments, to find innovative ways to nurture connections, to discover new strategies for how we work, self-care, and create, to name a few…

 

Before the close of each year, I find that doing a Year-in-Review reflection is a valuable exercise and a powerful way to set the stage for the year to come. Doing an annual reflective review is something I not only coach clients to do, but something I do myself.

 

3 powerful Year-in-Review questions to consider:

1.)
What did you accomplish, create, or achieve in this past year? Create a big long list.

2.)
What goals or dreams did NOT come to fruition for you this year? It’s uber important not to ignore or disregard the fact that you didn’t achieve them. By shining light on them you’ll gain clarity and momentum about what you really truly want in the coming year.

3.)
What is your action plan? What will you do differently in the coming year?

 

 

Today I feel inspired to briefly share some of my own 2021 highlights, a few personal goals for 2022, and some exciting ways we can connect in the new year.

 


2021 Tara’tory:

 

  • As an RVer, I’ve been able to enjoy continued domestic travel, rolling across state lines in my Airstream, a.k.a. condo on wheels. My quick travel synopsis from 2021: Winter in New Mexico, New Orleans and Florida in the Spring, Summer in the northeast, and Fall in the Berkshires, Niagra Falls, and Illinois. (Friendly reminder: While many venues are closed, nature is open and she’s beautiful as ever, so get out there and hug a tree or something.)
  • Illinois is where I was when my book launched on Amazon and became a bestseller. The launch and success of The Brules of Life and The Brules of Life Companion Workbook was a definite bright spot in my year, the culmination of a tremendous amount of work and planning. Seeing how well it is being received, hearing how it is touching and inspiring the lives others, is the ultimate repayment.
  • I ran more in 2021. Salsa clubs used to be my sweaty haven, but times have changed. Running has become both a mental health and physical health outlet for me. 5k is a typical distance now, but as I look to 2022, I’ve got a 10k training app tempting/taunting me to go further.
  • Along with the launch of my book and coaching my clients to harness the unique opportunities of this interesting year, countless improvements and updates have been made to my website and offerings, to include a special new free gift, and other gems – all of which are waiting for you at tarasagecoaching.com.
Ok, 2022.

 

My 2022 goals include: increasing readership of my book, start writing my next book, reach some fitness milestones, put out more video content, and light a fire under a creative project I’ve got sitting on the back burner.

 

January is going to be a full month, and includes several exciting opportunities to connect!

January 5: Brule Break-a-thon Livestream! 

Jumpstart the New Year with a different take on resolutions! On January 5th, I am joining forces with community coach, Peter Bowden, for a fun, one-of-a-kind, interactive, livestream event to help you identify the “brules” (bullshit rules) that are holding you back so that YOU make 2022 a joyful, life-enhancing, dream-fulfilling year! It’s going to be a hoot! Subscribe, like, share, and invite your friends!


January 14: Book signing!
I’ll be doing an (outdoor) book signing at Sundog Bookstore in Seaside, FL. This is a fabulous independent bookstore I’ve visited many times, while envisioning the day when my book might be on their shelves. That day is here! If you’re in the area, stop by! 11am – 2pm

 

January 19-23: RV Show! This will be my third year on the seminar stage at the Florida RV Supershow in Tampa, presenting Nomadic Living 101: How to Live Nomadically for a Month, a Season, a Year or Forever. 1pm, daily.So that’s a bit of what’s happening in my world . Let’s start the year off strong together!

 

Are YOU determined to make 2022 different and finally bring those back-burner dreams to life? Are you ready to tell yourself the truth about what you want, refuse beliefs about limitation, fears about worthiness, and lies about what you “can’t” do? If so … claim your seat in The Dream Acceleration Program for all of this and more in the New Year! There are just a few openings, so enroll today.

 

Looking ahead to 2022, I am 100% committed to taking extraordinary care of myself while also giving (you) a lot more. It feels wonderful to know how deeply compatible these intentions are.

 

Onward and upward!

 

Here’s to a happy healthy dream-fulfilling New Year,
Tara Sage
PS – Seriously, if you have a fire in your belly and are determined to make this year different and finally bring your dreams to life, register now for The Dream Acceleration Program and let’s do this together. I can’t wait to welcome you to the program!