The #1 thing you need to know about brule breaking

The #1 thing you need to know about brule breaking

The #1 thing you need to know about brule breaking

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve likely heard me talk a lot about brules and your dreams. Brule breaking can undoubtably bring immediate short-term gains, but what’s even more notable is the long-term staying power and value created as a domino-effect ON TOP OF those short-term gains.

In my book, The Brules of Life, I share an experience I had of being suddenly unleashed from bonds that I hadn’t been fully cognizant of before, and how, without warning, I was liberated of expectations and preconceptions I previously had no idea had been constraining me.

In a single instant, my heart was filled with profound next-level freedom and uninhibited permission to spread my wings and be “me” on a completely new level. Relieved of such constraints, it was exciting to find out who that newly liberated “me” was.

Those who’ve read The Brules of Life have shared that it has opened their eyes to recognizing their own hidden bonds, and helped them realize where they’d been existing within assumed limitations that they now know need not inhibit them any longer!

It is truly astounding how quickly ONE new awareness can expand into next-level freedom and forever change what’s possible for you.

Like compound interest, compounding RESULTS gain over time. 

For example, eating better. When you get into some new healthier habits, this can create a powerful domino effect in your life. For example, when you eat better your mind is clearer, you have more energy. As a result, you perform better. Maybe your boss notices and gives you a raise. Or your business grows and new clients can’t wait to work with you. Or your relationships improve because you are more present and positive in your interactions. Maybe you finally embark on that creative project you’d set aside for “someday” … and not only are you healthier, you’re happier.

Here’s another example: 

Let’s say that after years of debating a move from your hometown, you feel compelled and eager to escape. Maybe you feel a lot of pressure from others to stay, but you know that you feel confined and constrained, like it’s sucking life out of you, stunting your growth. So, you decide to take action, finally breaking the “Root Where You Are Planted” brule (chapter 12 in The Brules of Life). Maybe you move to a thriving city where new opportunities are everywhere. Or, perhaps you take off and travel the world and along the way, you meet your dream partner, and you find your dream job, where you make wonderful new friends. You pursue your passions and hobbies, your mental and physical health improves, you look better, you feel better, you stand taller, and before you know it, you have elevated the quality of your entire life!

All THIS sparked by doing what it took to break ONE brule or build ONE habit! 

See what I mean?

You could seriously be one shift/one decision/one brule-busting breakthrough away from everything you want. 

In The Brule Breakers Club we challenge assumptions, break unhelpful habits, rethink false logic, untwine conflated ideas, and celebrate breakthroughs … shining a great big light on a multitude of dream-inhibiting, self-care-stunting brules so that you THRIVE. 

With more Brules books planned in my Book of Brules series, I have outlined a total of SIXTY brules to be deconstructed. 

And while reading my book is amazing, being in a space where we can actually BREAK the brules (rather than you doing a solo attempt at it) is POWERFUL. In The Brule Breakers Club we go far beyond the pages. I help you make this material real in your LIFE. So, join today!  

Profoundly integrating even just ONE can have infinite domino effects on the whole of your life. ONE skill. ONE change in perspective. Lifelong impact!

Consider what this could mean for YOU. 

Imagine the compounding impact this can have on the future YOU are creating, and ask yourself: Would investing 100 or so dollars a month in yourself be a worthwhile investment? What about $3 a day? Brule Breakers Club membership cost is equivalent to a cup of coffee a day. When breaking even just ONE BRULE could have tremendous positive effects on absolutely every area of your life, is that worth more than a cup of coffee? 

Hell yes, it is.   

The Brule Breakers Club is the difference between consistently showing up for what you want, and endlessly ruminating about what you want. 

It’s the difference between receiving what you want, and never getting it out of your head and into your LIFE.

As a member, the support you’ll receive is the difference between finally seeing your blind spots, and continuing to struggle to make a change. It’s the difference between having breakthroughs you celebrate, or having fear and resistance run the show. It’s the difference between achieving your dreams, and always wondering what could have been. And it’s the difference between the cumulative impacts of self-neglect, and the compounding benefits of self-care. It’s the difference between momentum and celebration, and stagnation and frustration.

In The Brule Breakers Club, you will awaken to a new kind of freedom. 

Ready to step into expanding possibilities, experience the value of compounding results, and create a new kind of freedom?

Join The Brule Breakers Club today!  I can’t wait to welcome YOU!

Big love,

P.S – My goal is for The Brule Breakers Club to be the last life coaching program you ever need: a powerful, transformative, collaborative experience like no other. Let’s do this thing. Have questions? Think it might be for you, but want to be sure? Reach out to me for a Personalized Brule Breaker Chat, a fun powerful 1:1 connection opportunity if you are curious to learn how brule breaking can help you. 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

You know that feeling when you WISH things were different – in your life, in your career, in your business, your relationships, your finances, your health, your day-to-day life – but you just can’t see or understand how to actually make those desired changes stick? 

Well, if you know that feeling, if you know what I’m talking about, then I know how you feel.

There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated. I was drowning in student loan debt and living in a basement apartment with my cat. Feeling utterly trapped, I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.

While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL. 

It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It’s considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. And it’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day. 

And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.

Sometimes, being “normal” and doing all the “right” things can mean that you are silently (or maybe not so silently) suffering … all while people around you say, “this is just the way it is.” 

By default, in this “it’s just the way it is”-paradigm, what’s abnormal is joy. (So much so that it’s treated with suspicion!) Deep satisfaction, too, is abnormal, an anomaly. In this paradigm, prioritizing self-actualization is met with confusion. 

And pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules.”

I discovered how bullshit rules (a.k.a. “BRULES”) were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals. 

“Working in a strong career track is responsible and I should stay no matter how much I hate it.”

“Given the amount of student loan debt, I better embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”

“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”

I discovered how these “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. And I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us. 

I was doing the “responsible thing.”

But feeling trapped and miserable. 

And keeping myself away from my dreams. 

So, I set out to learn how to break them.

And it changed everything.

From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic. And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too.

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That ALL that you want is possible. 

Your dream life, dream career, dream finances, dream relationships and living situations. Your dream travels…

Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the brules that tell you you can’t. 

This is why I’m reintroducing The Brule Breakers Club. In the Brule Breakers Club we help make it easier and safer for you to feel empowered to make the changes you want. All based on all the intrinsic reasons and motivations that express and align with the biggest most self-actualized version of YOU.

It’s a supportive, immersive, welcoming community of dreamers and doers.

It is where, together, we demystify the applied psychology of change so that you can create from a new level of consciousness and empowerment.

The Brule Breakers Club is where we do the work of deconstructing brules, identifying default patterns, and challenging psychological and behavioral blind spots so that you can live your life without false limitations.

It’s where complex behavioral and psychological concepts get turned into super accessible, user-friendly, easy-to-apply strategies that help you experience more joy and wellbeing in your life.

It is where – through monthly modules, weekly discussions, coaching, community, classes and more – you learn to spot the brules that KEEP you from being, doing, and having ALL that you truly desire.

The Brule Breakers Club is a place to practice creating conscious pattern interruptions that’ll open you up to expansive new realms of possibility so that you are in action on designing and creating life on your own terms.

It’s where we break unhelpful habits, rethink false logic, untwine conflated ideas, and celebrate breakthroughs. Said another way, we shine a light on things that seem true or seem like part of your personality or “just the way it is,” but that are actually optional, malleable, negotiable, and sometimes blatantly false.

So… if you long for a space to challenge and reinvent parts of yourself, to see your blind spots, deconstruct your limits, and create a vision for your life that is all your own…

If you want to break brules, not for the sake of rebellion, but in the spirit of self-expression and self-actualization…

If you want to step into being the next-level you, following your dreams and enjoying the process of growth and expansion…

And if you understand that change takes time, commitment, devotion, patience, love, curiosity, a willingness to do things differently, and that there’s no magic pill…

… consider this your personal invitation. ❤

Your invitation to break the brules that have kept your dreams at arm’s length, until now.

Your invitation to make your relationship with yourself your number one priority.

It’s your invitation to join the most supportive space online, to have a community of friends and an expert coach cheering you on as you empower and elevate yourself and your life.

It is absolutely amazing what happens and how your dream life takes shape when you make this kind of commitment and show up for it consistently over time. By staying engaged and diligently holding up your end of the bargain – identifying, challenging, and removing any and all brules from your sphere – shifts happen, the kind that stop holding you back and stop keeping you from your dreams.

I want you to not only have that “oh, there I am!” feeling, I want you to confidently CREATE from it.

Come. Be a brule breaker with me, and with so many others. 

I want you to have your dreams, on your terms, and feel amazing in the process. 

>> Click here to join!

Big love, 

Applied Psychology Coach & Author of The Brules of Life

Break some brules!

Break some brules!

There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated, drowning in student loan debt, and living in a basement apartment with my cat. I felt utterly trapped, and I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.

While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL.

It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It is considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. It’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day.

And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.

It’s normal, sometimes, for us to be doing all the “right” things – to be suffering and dreaming while we’re there – and, through all of that, have people telling us “this is just the way it is.” Pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules” (a.k.a. BS rules).

I discovered how “brules” were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals.

“Working in a strong career track is responsible, so you should stay no matter how much you hate it.”

“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”

“Given your student loan debt, embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”

I discovered how these so-called “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us.

Yes, I was doing the “responsible thing.” But I felt trapped and miserable.

It was keeping me away from my dreams.

So, I set out to learn how to break them.

And it changed everything.

From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic.

And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too. The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That ALL that you want is possible.

Your dream life, and dream career. Your dream finances, dream relationships and dream living situation. And your dream travels…

Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the “brules” that tell you you can’t.

I invite you to take the leap and become a Brule Breaker.

A brule breaker is a person who doesn’t settle for status quo “it’s just the way it is” existence.

Rather than default to “norms,” they question convention, they challenge unhelpful narratives that keep most people in a box. They go beyond where most stop, where most people are kept from pursuing their dreams and goals. They break the brules.

Brule breaking isn’t easy.

Since brules are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview, they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned.

Brule breakers do the work of deconstructing brules. They identify default patterns and they challenge psychological and behavioral blind spots so that they can live their best life without false limitations.

This is best done in a supportive space that encourages you to realize that change IS possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That’s why I created The Brule Breakers Club. Brule breakers are dreamers and doers, trail blazers that help one another make the changes needed to live their dreams and become self-actualized. Brule breaking changes everything. Breaking the brules of life is what helps you create a new kind of freedom.

>>> Visit bookofbrules.com for details & join now! 

“I lay brick”

“I lay brick”

At 16 years old, while visiting my grandparents, I convinced my grandfather to drop me off at the nearby beach. He was reluctant, but agreed.

When, a few hours later, he returned to pick me up, there was a “young man” sitting on the edge of my towel. 

I remember it vividly. My Sicilian grandfather walked over, stood within a few inches of my towel, and without any introduction, said, “Young man, what do you do?”

The young man answered proudly: 

“I lay brick.”

After a brief pause, my grandfather motioned his head in a way that led with his chin. The young man was quick to be on his way.

Clearly, at least from my grandfather’s perspective, laying brick wasn’t good enough. Perhaps because we think that that job is a little beneath us, isn’t making a real difference, doesn’t require skill or education… none of which is probably true.

I hadn’t thought of this story in ages.

But after a recent coaching call with one of my clients, it popped to mind.

We were discussing approaches to put structures, systems, and policies in place to help ensure that her non-profit organization, a legacy-driven leadership mission, outlives her. 

I sometimes speak in metaphors on coaching calls. 

On this particular call, the power of laying one brick at a time to create something built to last served as a helpful reframe on some tasks that felt daunting, perhaps unnecessary, and wished to be avoided. 

Brick laying isn’t full of glory. It’s hard labor, exposed to the elements, hands in the dirt work that requires sweat equity to get the job done.

It’s worth noting too that people tend to dress up, applaud, and take photos to commemorate ribbon cutting ceremonies. But brick laying? Not so much. That’s the dirty work, often done by unsung heroes.

I think we need to celebrate the brick layers. 

Those who take the time to lay one brick at a time, to build something to last, are invaluable. Not to mention the fact that if the craft of brick laying isn’t done well and with skill and attention, ultimately, the foundation will crumble and the building will fall.

I’m not just talking about physical structures. A strong foundation is needed for everything and anything you value and wish to last.

Intentionally placed bricks create a strong ready-to-be-built-on foundation.

Taking the metaphor one step further, when it comes to dreaming your life to be what you wish and imagine it could be … guess what? 

YOU are the foundation that your dreams are built on.

Not unlike the foundation of a house, one key piece to the coaching I do is helping to really strengthen this foundation for and with you – and that, *is* YOU. Your feelings, your skills, your plans, your mind/body/subconscious getting fully on board to make your dreams easier to achieve.

This is so important because WITHOUT this foundation, when the “wind” blows … (say, an unexpected expense pops up, or you get a stomach bug and need to rest, or someone you love and trust tells you your dream isn’t realistic) … your dreams will still stand strong despite this. 

Recognizing that YOU are the foundation your dreams are built on, can lead to some powerful new choices. When you strengthen that foundation, your world expands.

With this approach, the foundation that is YOU is ready for the next layer, building further, and the next, and the next…

Brick by brick.

There’s so much pride and momentum to be found in the nitty-gritty, as you BECOME the strong, ready foundation for the life and the dreams YOU are building. 

While it may not be the work that gets all the glory, and it may not be the work that’s always fun, it is the work that sets the stage for your dreams. 

Your dreams need YOU.

Your dreams need you to lay the bricks, and become the person, and do the things that will ultimately support THEM.

And, I will happily be your foreman/forewoman. 😊

I will celebrate every brick you lay. 

So many people want to jump straight to the living-the-dream part. And while that’s amazing, it’s those solid bricks – stacked and secured with care and love and attention – that creates SUSTAINABLE dreams that are so much more fun to live in and build on. 

The right support and coaching helps ensure that you stay with it, manage your energy, stay nourished and clear on the goal, one step and stage at a time. This is what makes it possible. 

I am that coach and if this speaks to you, I want to help. 

I have openings now for my FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment, a 1:1 conversation where we will…get you clarity on your dreams, and create a strategic next steps plan with specific next action steps to get joyfully on track and deepen your awareness about how to magnify what’s working – and shift what isn’t – so you can create your desired future with clarity, confidence, and ease.

Go to www.sessionwithtara.com to grab one.

Apply the power of “laying brick” to your life, relationships, business, or anything else you want and value… and there will be many ribbon cuttings to come!