The #1 thing you need to know about brule breaking

The #1 thing you need to know about brule breaking

The #1 thing you need to know about brule breaking

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve likely heard me talk a lot about brules and your dreams. Brule breaking can undoubtably bring immediate short-term gains, but what’s even more notable is the long-term staying power and value created as a domino-effect ON TOP OF those short-term gains.

In my book, The Brules of Life, I share an experience I had of being suddenly unleashed from bonds that I hadn’t been fully cognizant of before, and how, without warning, I was liberated of expectations and preconceptions I previously had no idea had been constraining me.

In a single instant, my heart was filled with profound next-level freedom and uninhibited permission to spread my wings and be “me” on a completely new level. Relieved of such constraints, it was exciting to find out who that newly liberated “me” was.

Those who’ve read The Brules of Life have shared that it has opened their eyes to recognizing their own hidden bonds, and helped them realize where they’d been existing within assumed limitations that they now know need not inhibit them any longer!

It is truly astounding how quickly ONE new awareness can expand into next-level freedom and forever change what’s possible for you.

Like compound interest, compounding RESULTS gain over time. 

For example, eating better. When you get into some new healthier habits, this can create a powerful domino effect in your life. For example, when you eat better your mind is clearer, you have more energy. As a result, you perform better. Maybe your boss notices and gives you a raise. Or your business grows and new clients can’t wait to work with you. Or your relationships improve because you are more present and positive in your interactions. Maybe you finally embark on that creative project you’d set aside for “someday” … and not only are you healthier, you’re happier.

Here’s another example: 

Let’s say that after years of debating a move from your hometown, you feel compelled and eager to escape. Maybe you feel a lot of pressure from others to stay, but you know that you feel confined and constrained, like it’s sucking life out of you, stunting your growth. So, you decide to take action, finally breaking the “Root Where You Are Planted” brule (chapter 12 in The Brules of Life). Maybe you move to a thriving city where new opportunities are everywhere. Or, perhaps you take off and travel the world and along the way, you meet your dream partner, and you find your dream job, where you make wonderful new friends. You pursue your passions and hobbies, your mental and physical health improves, you look better, you feel better, you stand taller, and before you know it, you have elevated the quality of your entire life!

All THIS sparked by doing what it took to break ONE brule or build ONE habit! 

See what I mean?

You could seriously be one shift/one decision/one brule-busting breakthrough away from everything you want. 

In The Brule Breakers Club we challenge assumptions, break unhelpful habits, rethink false logic, untwine conflated ideas, and celebrate breakthroughs … shining a great big light on a multitude of dream-inhibiting, self-care-stunting brules so that you THRIVE. 

With more Brules books planned in my Book of Brules series, I have outlined a total of SIXTY brules to be deconstructed. 

And while reading my book is amazing, being in a space where we can actually BREAK the brules (rather than you doing a solo attempt at it) is POWERFUL. In The Brule Breakers Club we go far beyond the pages. I help you make this material real in your LIFE. So, join today!  

Profoundly integrating even just ONE can have infinite domino effects on the whole of your life. ONE skill. ONE change in perspective. Lifelong impact!

Consider what this could mean for YOU. 

Imagine the compounding impact this can have on the future YOU are creating, and ask yourself: Would investing 100 or so dollars a month in yourself be a worthwhile investment? What about $3 a day? Brule Breakers Club membership cost is equivalent to a cup of coffee a day. When breaking even just ONE BRULE could have tremendous positive effects on absolutely every area of your life, is that worth more than a cup of coffee? 

Hell yes, it is.   

The Brule Breakers Club is the difference between consistently showing up for what you want, and endlessly ruminating about what you want. 

It’s the difference between receiving what you want, and never getting it out of your head and into your LIFE.

As a member, the support you’ll receive is the difference between finally seeing your blind spots, and continuing to struggle to make a change. It’s the difference between having breakthroughs you celebrate, or having fear and resistance run the show. It’s the difference between achieving your dreams, and always wondering what could have been. And it’s the difference between the cumulative impacts of self-neglect, and the compounding benefits of self-care. It’s the difference between momentum and celebration, and stagnation and frustration.

In The Brule Breakers Club, you will awaken to a new kind of freedom. 

Ready to step into expanding possibilities, experience the value of compounding results, and create a new kind of freedom?

Join The Brule Breakers Club today!  I can’t wait to welcome YOU!

Big love,

P.S – My goal is for The Brule Breakers Club to be the last life coaching program you ever need: a powerful, transformative, collaborative experience like no other. Let’s do this thing. Have questions? Think it might be for you, but want to be sure? Reach out to me for a Personalized Brule Breaker Chat, a fun powerful 1:1 connection opportunity if you are curious to learn how brule breaking can help you. 

A Brule Breaking love story

A Brule Breaking love story

A Brule Breaking love story

“I like emotionally unavailable men.”

“I like women who are mean to me.”

That about summed it up.

After sharing our respective relationship history synopses … on January 11, 2017, Carl and I decided to try something different: one another.

We’d been friends for more than a year. Between our frequent phone conversations, we met for coffee, drinks, gelato, dance events, dinners, Smithsonian museums, watching ice skaters (fall) in Georgetown, sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at night, exploring sculpture gardens, and other DC wanderings. One time, we literally met just for a hug.

Then, one night while saying goodbye, unbeknownst to me, he apparently tried to kiss me. As I had many times before, I went in for a big “see you later” hug – utterly oblivious.

The friend zone was real. 😄

Later that week, while chatting by phone, he asked me about it.

Wait, what?!

It took me a minute to process the information and consider whether “my friend Carl” could be more than a friend. After an awkwardly looooong pause, I hesitantly said, “try again?”

Our friendship began with salsa dancing. We’d met at a club we both frequented, a regular spot for the DC salsa scene. Predictably, we were both there again a few days after our telephone call.

At the end of the night, we walked out together and sat in my car with the heat on. This is where our one-sentence relationship history confessions were made. It’s also where he “tried again.”

I tell this story with a good dose of amusement. The level of honesty we shared, each in a single sentence, was funny.

But I now also see it in a more serious light. Frankly, I’m proud of us.

That was a series of brave moves! We chose – both together and individually – to risk not only the friendship we’d solidly established, but also to consciously disrupt familiar relationship patterns.

Rather than rejecting what felt safe, warm, reliable, and kind – reserving it for friendship only – we chose something different. Safer in some ways, but wildly risky in others.

Speaking for myself, I was scared. But willing.

Rather than the enticing pursuit of repeating patterns, we leaned in to already established warmth, tenderness, kindness, and care.

We stepped out of the familiar patterns of frustration and stopped chasing those who didn’t treat us well. We reoriented our compasses away from codependent complexities and questionable commitment levels, to seeing what the assurance of clear communication and genuine care could bring. We decided to build on the foundation of friendship instead of trying to bottle the smoke and excitement of fleeting fireworks. We stopped allowing hot smoke to be more compelling than building our own fire. We chose to recognize that what we’d each been doing in our personal lives wasn’t working, and decided to experiment with a new approach.

That was 7 years ago and we’ve been together ever since.

Psst… This is much more than an anniversary story message. This is a “Tara, what do you mean when you say brule breaking, and why should I care?” message. 

Whether it’s your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, your day-to-day life – whatever it is that you WISH was different – when you break brules, new possibilities come to light.

Brule breaking has two distinct qualifiers: 

  • A conscious pattern interruption
  • The sincere desire to thrive

Brule breaking requires BOTH.

To be clear, brule breaking is NOT synonymous with rebellion. It is NOT about bucking the status quo for the sake of being bold or different. Simply being contrarian isn’t what brule breaking is either.

Brule breaking = a conscious pattern interruption + a sincere desire to thrive

Brule breaking is about doing what it takes to make a change in your “normal” when your normal isn’t helping you thrive. 

It’s about no longer unconsciously impeding your own happiness or perpetuating your own suffering.

Easier said than done.

It can be incredibly difficult to see your own blind spots. 

And it’s even HARDER to break them on your own. 

Breaking brules requires conscious pattern interruptions. Be it stopping or pausing what you’ve always done, reconsidering and reflecting in a new way to gain a new perspective, or outright change: doing new things, in new ways.

Brule breaking requires outside perspectives and inner shifts.

Brule breaking REQUIRES support.

(And, hint hint, for all these reasons: Brule breakers need The Brule Breakers Club.)

Brule breaking is not about risk for the sake of risk, or nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity.

It’s about:

  • elevating awareness around self-limiting beliefs and behaviors that you’re not fully cognizant of
  • challenging them, and
  • learning how to implement change in your life when expanding your self-concept and finding out what you’re really capable of.

I asked Carl, “Do you remember who said ‘I love you’ first?”

His answer: “This morning?”

Lol.

Neither of us remembers who said it first. It was unspoken until it was spoken.

We broke the brules that were in our way by making some brave new pattern-interrupting moves on behalf of a sincere desire to THRIVE.

And love grew. 💕

If you long for a space to challenge and reinvent parts of yourself, to see your blind spots, deconstruct your limits, and create a vision for your life that is all your own…

If you want to break brules, not for the sake of rebellion, but in the spirit of self-expression and self-actualization…

If you want to step into being the next-level you, follow your dreams and enjoy the process of growth and expansion…

If you want to become cognizant of the brules in your life, to see what’s been prescribed by social and familial norms, and shift what doesn’t help you THRIVE…

…. consider this your personal invitation to The Brule Breakers Club. ❤️

With so much love,

Applied Psychology Coach & author of The Brules of Life

Why I don’t often share personal things

Why I don’t often share personal things

Last week I announced that I’m doing a special in-person event.  At this event, one thing I’ll be sharing is a vulnerable story about a personal blind spot – one that I honestly only ever thought I’d share with my closest friends.

I’m scared and excited.

I don’t often share personal things in professional settings. So, it’s a really big deal for me and I’d be so honored if you want to come join in the experience with me.

Part of why I don’t tend to share personal things has to do with professional boundaries.

It’s a judgment call, of course. But sometimes I see others in my industry use the word “vulnerability” when sharing something that strikes me as a positive spin on what is actually just oversharing.

Just my opinion, of course.

But my point is – I’m careful about it.

Coaching individuals for decades has taught me a lot about what really helps people realize their dreams and goals. What I know is that helping people see blind spots and clear the mental and emotional blocks that are limiting them is far more effective, transformational, and lasting than telling people how to live or what to do.

When it comes to my professional life, I only ever want to share something vulnerable when I’m sure it has purpose. By this, I mean, I need to be sure it enhances a message or teaching in a way that wouldn’t be as potent without the personal story. I don’t just share to share or to demonstrate vulnerability for the sake of it.

I want to first feel sure it helps deliver something that has the power to change lives.

And, this time, after much reflection, I’m sure.

I think it’s going to be an amazing experience where I get to share with you and, if you choose, you get to share with me too. And together, we can walk away from this powerful gathering clear about what is going to have a big impact for each of us.

Shining a light on socially-steeped ideas that impede people from living full-out is what helps create swift and positive change.

Removing mental and emotional obstacles clears the path.

And this naturally activates the momentum needed to create more of what is desired in life.

As I allow the natural momentum around my mission (to revolutionize and optimize the human experience by helping people create the life they think they cannot have), I am trusting this next iteration of where I’m being led.

Brule breaking provides a fresh approach and framework to deconstruct and challenge limiting perspectives. It shifts unhelpful habits. Brule breaking builds expansive levels of awareness, and establishes new patterns so that you too can create the life you think you cannot have.

I hope you’ll join me. To claim a seat at The Brule Breakers Brunch in New England on September 23rd, click here.

Big love,