Time management for smarties

Time management for smarties

After a bit of a hiatus while focusing on some projects I have underway, I’m happy to be back and sharing TWO GIFTS to help you champion your goals and dreams – today!

  1. An applied psychology lesson in time management 
  2. A guidebook that walks you through exactly how to take it further

 

⭐ First, the lesson:

If you feel chronically overextended, like there’s never enough time or energy to make any REAL progress on your dreams and goals, that’s a clue that something deeper is going on. 

What you THINK is the problem, likely ISN’T. 

Here’s how to identify what’s REALLY holding you back:

In the therapy and coaching space, there’s what’s referred to as the “presenting problem.” The presenting problem is what exists on the CONSCIOUS level. It’s the problem that SEEMS to be what needs solving, that if you could just find a remedy for, you’d be free!

Or so you think.

Thing is, the presenting problem is rarely the real problem. What’s really holding you back is likely happening on an UNCONSCIOUS level. 

In other words, your brain and your habits are hiding the real problem from you.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Not having enough time or energy to make progress on my dreams and goals feels like a very real problem to me, Tara!”

I completely understand. 

As a coach and author with 20+ years of bringing the psychology of change to light in empowering and accessible ways, I know how frustrating it can be to feel like there’s never enough time or energy for your dreams.

Let’s demystify this hurdle with one strategy that you can apply right away: 

At the unconscious level, people often don’t actually want and aren’t actually eager for a solution to the “presenting problem” — even when they convincingly tell you that it’s something they very much WANT! And even when they recognize that it’s a chronic problem for them.

A client example comes to mind:

Despite her awareness and seemingly emphatic desire for a solution to being “chronically overextended” (← her words), she kept saying “yes” to things!  

“Yes” to that meeting…

And “Yes” to that friend…

“Yes” to that client…

“Yes” to her kids and driving them everywhere…

The countless time management books and trainings she invested in that claim to have the answer, haven’t solved the problem. And she’s painfully aware that she’s missing out on positive opportunities and experiences simply because she doesn’t have the bandwidth to act on them!

Nonetheless, the problem persisted.

Now let me ask you this: 

If she’s AWARE of the problem and eager for a solution, WHY would she keep saying “yes” and agreeing to too much for her capacity?!? (especially knowing she has other goals she wants to prioritize and work towards, like her health and her business)

On the face of it, it doesn’t make sense.

Here’s what’s really going on:

What’s really going on is … something about it SERVES her.  

This can be hard to accept at first.

To see this more clearly for yourself, when it comes to YOU not having enough time or energy to make any REAL progress on your dreams and goals, answer these 3 questions…

Each one nudges the unconscious to become conscious. 

(1) What do you get to AVOID doing, or having to be responsible for, BECAUSE you’re overextended? 

(2) Who do you get to BE in your overextended state? What self-concept does being overextended affirm for you?  For example: Do you get to be a generous person, a kind person, an important person? Does it provide opportunities to prove – to yourself or others – that you are good? 

(3) Who would you BE if you suddenly said “no” to doing the things that keep you feeling overextended? (This question is asking you to pinpoint what might happen if you change or start doing things differently. Who might you disappoint? And what do you believe this would mean about YOU?)

While answering ALL 3 questions helps you powerfully peel back the onion and go beyond “the presenting problem” to get to the heart of the REAL problem so you can find your way to a lasting solution … answering even just ONE can be immensely helpful. 

⭐ Download the Guidebook!

Ready to take this further with FREE immediate access to my 30-page “Refreshingly Unconventional Goal-Setting Guidebook” modeled after the work I do with my private clients to create real momentum on their dreams and goals? 

Click here for your copy!

Big love, 

I’ve been famous twice this week (+ a fun contest!)

I’ve been famous twice this week (+ a fun contest!)

I used to have a lot of head-trash about being seen, about being “big,” as in … “don’t get too big for your britches” … “you’re too loud/proud/bold” … “Who do you think you ARE?”

I wasn’t sure what “being famous” meant exactly, let alone if I wanted it. But if I did want it … was that BAD? Was I bad? Too showy? Who was I to think I could be famous for my work?

On the day my book came out, and quickly hit bestsellers lists, I cried – big, heaving, happy horse-tears. Having my labor of love, The Brules of Life books, PRINTED and in the hands of people across the country and around the world … was a big effing deal! It marked the culmination of an EXTRAORDINARY amount of work, focus, determination, heart, and grit.

From head-trash to brule breaker…

From largely unknown, to my name on a bestselling book…

And from being able to serve a small number of clients, to having a product that can reach – and teach – through a global marketplace…

It was a milestone indeed!

This week, my definition of “brule” (listed on Urban Dictionary) has more than 1,000 likes, and counting, and is listed first in “brule” definitions.

AND – even more exciting – my article, “Brules Are Made to Be Broken”, has been featured in the Dec/Jan issue of Aspire Magazine.

Every PR mention of “brules” and me, reaching many thousands of people, is cause for celebration. 😊

That said, it can also be kind of strange to have people I don’t know, who know me. Since some of the stories I share in my book are rather personal, they legitimately know quite a bit about me, so it makes sense that they feel that.

Like, last weekend, I attended a funeral with Carl, a celebration of life for the passing of his 105-year-old great-aunt. When we arrived, I was greeted by one of his cousins who I was meeting for the first time. She hugged me and told me she has my book.

It’s interesting to have my book precede me.

A few months ago, a friend and I went to see a band. While we were there, my friend ran into someone she knew. They were chatting away when the woman she was speaking to stopped, looked at me, and said, “Are you Tara Sage?” She knew my work.

It’s fun to learn that my work is reaching people that I don’t know or haven’t met.

Something you may not know about me is that I am child-free by choice. The older I get, this fact only further reinforces the depth with which my books and the ripple-effect of my work is, in large part, my legacy.

My books are a true extension of my heart. They are roaming the world, meeting people I’ve never met, and creating their own ripple-effect in the world-at-large. I’m proud of them. And I have more books to write. And MANY more people I aspire to serve with this work.

I want to leave this world feeling EMPTIED, having poured myself into what will outlive me.

My writing, my coaching, my message, my methods, my brule breaking no-BS teachings and how-tos are what really make this work come alive, in your LIFE.

I no longer shy away from the fact that, yes, I am KNOWN (which is essentially what I think “famous” means). And I want it for one simple reason: because this is HOW I am able to serve and teach and touch the lives of more people.

My books, my coaching, my thought leadership … These are the vehicles for how I empower and impact the lives of others and successfully realize the legacy of what I want to leave behind. (At 48-years-young, I’m just getting started!)

A FUN CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT!

I want to make YOU (or someone you know) “famous” too!

I want to share and broaden the brule breaker spotlight. 😊 #BruleBreakerSpotlight

Who do you know that deserves a #brulebreaker nomination?

Who do you know who is a Brule Breaker? Consider, who do you know that does it their way, who questions the “this is just the way it is” or “this is just how I am” brules that they were given and creates their dream life, success, and more?

To nominate a brule breaker…  (and, YES, in true #brulebreaker fashion, you can totally nominate yourself, and YES, you can totally nominate more than one person!) – create a social media post with the hashtag #BruleBreakerSpotlight

In your post, tell me a bit about what makes them (or you) a trail-blazing brule-breaking march-to-the-beat-of-their-own-drummer standout! Make sure your post is set to PUBLIC (commenting under a post doesn’t count as a nomination, and posts that only your friends can see won’t qualify). Post it with the hashtag #BruleBreakerSpotlight so that I can find it.

On December 18th, I will select and announce one (maybe two) #BruleBreakerSpotlight winners!

Want to break the “don’t get too big for your britches” brule, and have your extraordinary BS-busting #brulebreaker self shared over the Interwebs for all to see and celebrate? Want a #BruleBreakerSpotlight profile on my blog and in my newsletter with links for where people can connect with you for more of your greatness? The #BruleBreakerSpotlight winner will ALSO receive a surprise “brules merch” gift-in-the-mail, and coupon good for 20% savings on one Brule Breakers Club annual membership for you or someone you know.

Every brule broken deserves to be celebrated. And we all want to celebrate and see YOU, Brule Breaker!

Get ready to be #BruleBreakerSpotlight famous:

  • Post a picture of The Brules of Life – it could be a picture you take, or you can reshare the “Nominate a Brule Breaker!” #bookpic that I am sharing with you here. (Bonus points if you add a video featuring your copy of The Brules of Life.)
  • Set your post to PUBLIC.
  • Tag me @tarasagecoaching along with the hashtag #BruleBreakerSpotlight with your nomination or story as to why you, or someone you know, is a #brulebreaker. Extra points for creativity, humor, boldness, and stories that warm the heart.

Here’s to unapologetically big britches,

Brule – a sassy word to know AND understand!

Brule – a sassy word to know AND understand!

Brule is not just a sassy word to know, it’s also a word to understand!

On September 23rd, I’ll be sharing something I’ve never before shared publicly: a personal story about navigating a huge blind spot. Other than the exception of a few close friends, I never imagined I’d be telling this story. After some debate, I’ve decided to do it for one reason: it is the best way I know to demonstrate a teaching that has the power to change lives.

So share, I will. And – you’re invited to be in the room when I do.

Inspired by my book, The Brules of Life, I am hosting The Brule Breakers Brunch – a special in-person gathering for people who want to break the “brules” that hold them back from the life they desire.

In case you’re not familiar with the term, “brule” is sassy slang, for bullsh*t rules. 😜 BUT – it’s so much more than a sassy word!

Brules are psychological and behavioral blind spots that impede and prevent people from thriving. And they’re sneaky. They tend to hide in plain sight! (read: We ALL have them!) 

Like, for example, “Be independent” is a brule. Independence is a lie. A delusion. A myth. An impossible goal given that the truth of our interdependence is inherent and unavoidable, with evidence of this fact everywhere! (See chapter 7 in The Brules of Life for more on this critical brule to break, especially if you’re someone who feels stubborn pride – as I did before I busted through this brule – about your so-called “independence.”)

The brules that tend to hold us back the most are the ones that SEEM true and therefore go unquestioned and remain a blind spot in your unconscious, impeding you from thriving.

Blind spots happen when “brules” become embodied beliefs. 

Understanding the significance of what this word really means and really represents for YOU is critically important to everything you desire in life … because seeing a blind spot and breaking even ONE brule can change the trajectory of your entire life. 

It did mine!

Brule is a sassy word to know AND understand!

What if … you are just one shift, one decision, one brule-busting breakthrough away from everything you want? 

I will be presenting at a special first-of-its-kind event in Exeter, New Hampshire (1 hour from Boston, 2 hours from Providence, 30 minutes from Portsmouth Airport). 

JOIN ME for this special in-person event!

In addition to good food, new friends, raffle prizes and presents, you will learn:

  • the applied psychology of brule-breaking
  • how to go beyond seeming “limits” to create the life you think you cannot have
  • how to powerfully deconstruct any brule
  • the top 3 brules to break and how breaking them can open the door to a new kind of freedom. 

This is an intimate event – space is very limited.

If you can be there, great!  Save your seat here. I can’t wait to see you!

If you can’t be there on September 23 but still want to learn more about brules … I’ve got something for you too: Grab my FREE Book of Brules bonus chapter,The Only Skill You Ever Need. Learn the skill that makes all the difference, especially if dreaming feels carefree in ways that you do not.

Every time I sit down to write to you, my goal is (1) to provide thoughtful ways for you to feel more free and get to know yourself better, (2) to inspire you to trust your dreams more than your fears/more than you did yesterday and (3) offer some ideas for how to develop the personal habits and actions that make those dreams REAL. 

In this bonus chapter, I believe I have done all three.

>>> https://tarasagecoaching.com/os/

To success on your own terms,