“How can I create my dream life when I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT?”

“How can I create my dream life when I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT?”

“How can I create my dream life when I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT?”

I get asked this all the time. 

So today I’m going to show you exactly how to figure it out with a great 2-part hack that turns the volume UP on your deepest dreams and desires.

First, fun fact: Nobody knows better than you what you want. As the owner of your heart, you are the leading expert on the topic. 

👆 KNOW THIS. 

You may be unclear right now but, ultimately, nobody is going to know the truth of your desires better than YOU.

This said, you’re obviously going to be able to steer your life forward with far more confidence and conviction IF you are clear about where you want to go. So, decide that it’s time to get clear on what you truly and deeply want. 

Here’s the 2-part hack. 

Part 1: 

Create a great big long list of what you DON’T want. There is a wealth of clarity to be found when you get really honest about what you don’t want.

Questions to consider:

  • What are some of the immediate things that come to mind for you that you don’t want? 
  • What would you like to say “no” to? 
  • What are you tired of doing? 
  • What feels mis-aligned to you about your life, as it is, right now?

Examples might be everyday tasks like, “I don’t want to do laundry.” Or career related, like “I don’t want a 9-to-5 job.” They might be financial, like “I don’t want to stress over paying my bills,” or perhaps deeply personal like, “I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore.” 

Nothing is off limits. Whatever it is for you, write it down … anything and everything that isn’t aligned with your truest most beautiful vision for your life.

Part 2:

After you’ve made a great big long list of declarations about what you don’t want, flip each statement into the affirmative, letting your “don’t want” list inspire just as long a list of what you DO want.

From there, you can fine tune and strategize on next steps.

By starting with what you don’t want, you can unlock HUGE amounts of clarity about what you do want and start to clarify not only WHAT you want, but HOW to get it. 

Grab a free copy of my Refreshingly Unconventional Goal-Setting Guidebook to take this further and create REAL momentum on your dreams and goals. 

Big love, 

Burnt out? Do this

Burnt out? Do this

Wanna know the key to preventing burnout?  …asks the gal who’s built her biz from the ground up and has been enthusiastically living this work and serving my clients, with delight, for nearly two decades.

In other words, listen up because I know what I’m talking about!

Service. Service is the key to preventing burnout.

Stay with me on this, because I know what you’re probably thinking … that service is what’s CAUSING the burnout to begin with … and, hell, more of it will only create MORE burnout!

But here’s the plot twist:

When I talk about Service, I’m talking about a new standard.

I’m talking about Service that includes YOU. As in, it actually nourishes you! And if it doesn’t refuel and sustain you, then it’s not Service.

It’s servitude.

This is such a critical distinction.

Giving and giving and never being supported yourself = servitude.

In contrast, with Service … when you give, you receive! As in, you are instantly and sustainably replenished.

Unlike servitude, acts of Service leave no room for resentment, depletion, or self-sacrifice.

Things that help others and that you could do all day and never feel tired = Service.

When you are fueled by your giving, it’s self-sustaining. An exchange that doesn’t leave you depleted.

When you are serving from your heart, you’re nourished because your purpose and love and creativity are renewing. Which naturally inspires and has you feeling enthusiastic about giving, and serving, more.

From THIS space, burnout isn’t even a concern … let alone a reality!

In my programs, you will discover new ways to deepen your satisfaction in every area of your life. Together, we amp up your personal clarity – to include the unique impact and contributions you are here to make, and the self-sustaining Service you are here to provide.

Ready to make your dreams and goals not just POSSIBLE, but REALITY?

I’m happy to Serve you!

Let’s do a Session with Tara, a free 1:1 assessment call where we will talk about your goals and your dreams and all of the things that haven’t felt possible before, and we will FIND the possibilities together. Discover your unique No-Vacation-Needed life and start to see how what wasn’t possible before, absolutely can be now. You’ll walk away not only with more confidence in your dreams, but also with a roadmap to understanding exactly how to make those dreams and goals REAL.

In service,

Tara Sage

When boundaries aren’t enough

When boundaries aren’t enough

Last week, I wrote about a tough pill to swallow: that to whatever degree self-actualization is lacking in your life, is the same degree that self-abandonment is happening in your life. [If you missed it, click here.]

As I re-read what I wrote, I dropped into a deeply reflective state.

Sitting in one place, I stared into the distance for I-don’t-know-how-long while silently reflecting on thoughts, questions, and emotions about some of the circumstances that have happened in my life that have shown me where self-actualization is lacking and – with that – where self-abandonment is/was happening.

I always gain immense clarity from this confronting-but-productive self-inventory … inevitably noticing ways that I am acting in cahoots with patterns of self-abandonment.

Areas of dissatisfaction come to light.

I notice areas where some of my needs have gone unmet.

I notice where, not only aren’t I getting what I want, but where who I know myself to be is feeling stifled or being dishonored in some way.

From such awareness comes the recognition that IF I DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING to make improvements to these areas … I am essentially denying myself these things. 

(ouch.)

Settling for less than you desire is a form of self-denial.

 

Such evidence-based self-inventory isn’t for the faint of heart because there’s no room for pretending in the relationship between you-and-you.

It boils down to this:

Either you decide to consent to self-denial, self-abandonment, and self-neglect that impedes your own self-actualization, OR … you do something about it.

We impact our circumstances with our choices. There’s a point at which we can no longer hold others responsible for our own experience or blame circumstances for what we aren’t experiencing.      

Doing something about it can take many forms. Giving thoughtful attention to the circumstances, doing what you know how to do to remedy the situation is generally best, followed by patience and time to see the impact of your actions, hopefully for the better.

BUT  – what happens when actions fail?

It’s not always true that when we ask for what we need, or set a boundary in a relationship, or express ourselves fully, or take time to heal and be self-responsible … that this is the ultimate answer or remedy.

In the midst of even the most complex circumstances or the most challenging relationships, we each get to choose how – and for how long – we invest our energy into finding the right solution.

But, when all of your best efforts don’t work and something carries on for too long or in a way that still isn’t satisfying or supportive, what then do you DO?!? 

When noticing such a pattern in your life and in yourself – assuming you are committed to making the necessary changes to remedy it – you can interrupt the pattern in one of two ways:

(1) By doing new things, initiating NEW action

or,

(2) By deciding what you will STOP doing

NOT DOING can be a powerful pattern interruption.

Not everything requires more effort.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is STOP participating in a conversation, a situation, a relationship, or a space – creating a disruption in the already established dynamic.

And unlike the time and energy that efforts behind new habits or new actions need to “kick in”… while making the initial choice can be laborious, once made, NOT doing can often bring instant relief.

Do not underestimate the power of reclaiming your energy, calling yourself back to yourself, by doing less of what isn’t aligned.

I need these reminders from time to time, and perhaps you do too:

⭐ Abandoning yourself in order to tolerate circumstances that aren’t a match for you is an expense of precious life force. If maintaining the status quo requires that you abandon yourself to perpetuate it, and you STOP doing this, your circumstances will inevitably change.

⭐ Abandoning yourself in order to maintain connection with others isn’t healthy. If what is holding a relationship together is you abandoning yourself, and you STOP doing this, that relationship will either change or fall away.

⭐ Last but not least, abandoning yourself in order to do things you find utterly draining and misaligned is an affront to your soul. If continuing to do these things requires you to keep selling a piece of your soul, and you STOP doing these things, your stand for who you know yourself to be will give your highest sense of Self the opportunity to surface and take the lead.

Taking an honest look at areas where change is calling and where you’re being asked to step up, is both empowering and daunting.

Making intentional changes in the direction of self-actualization is what I’m here for and what I’m committed to.

You?

 

This opens up more possibilities, fast!

This opens up more possibilities, fast!

Lost your creative mojo?

Curiosity is something that has enhanced my life in more ways than I can count.

Be it something I’ve developed within my business that started out as a simple “Hmmm…I wonder if there’s a way to _____” or “I wonder what would happen if ______”…

Or, how staying curious about what’s going on for another person has helped enrich connections and solve problems within relationships…

Or, the immense pleasure I’ve gained from following my curiosity while wandering around a city or park when I travel – no particular place to go, merely following the lead of whatever inspires me to explore it further…

When we’re curious about what else is out there, what we haven’t seen, perspectives we might have overlooked… when we OPEN to what we haven’t heard or seen before, the possibilities quickly become endless when before they might have seemed scarce.

Curiosity is the answer. It seeds the mind, feeds the soul, and keeps things fresh.

BUT when our lives are frustrating, curiosity is often one of the first things to go!

I mean, when you’re frustrated and focused on just getting through the day and managing a lot of same-old-same-old, who has time to be curious?

Imagine walking around your whole day with no curiosity, no intrigue, no wonder, no spark to want to learn more, experience more, inquire more, listen more, or enjoy more.

How long would it be before THAT felt yucky?

Curiosity brings our creativity back, which allows us to be curious about EVERYTHING. Start with ONE thing. Get curious about having fun, get curious about the people in your life, get curious about learning new skills and new things. That curiosity builds a muscle of clarity that allows you to bring the energy of curiosity into other aspects of your life. And THIS opens doors. All of a sudden, those things about your dreams and your goals and your career and your relationships and your life as a whole, that seemed impossible before… Now you can see possibilties, because you practiced getting curious.

But building that curiosity muscle to the point where possibilities become ENDLESS is tough.

Curious to find out more?

Let’s connect for a free 1:1 assessment call where we will talk about your goals and your dreams and all of the things that haven’t felt possible before, and we will FIND the possibilities together.

We will expand your curiosity muscle and start to see how what wasn’t possible before, absolutely can be now.

You’ll walk away from our call not only with a stronger curiosity muscle and more possibilities in sight than before, but also with a roadmap to understanding exactly how to make those dreams and goals REAL.

Apply now!

Curious about YOU,

Tara Sage

 

Keys that unlock your dreams

Keys that unlock your dreams

Feel a bit like a bird in a cage ? Like your dreams and potential are cooped up?

Eager to spread your wings and fly free?

You’ve worked hard to get where you are in your life, career, relationships, family, home, finances, etc… but maybe some things just aren’t working or delivering the satisfaction and pride you thought they would and there’s a nagging sense that there’s got more to life than “this.”

You want to thrive.

You want your time to be your own.

You want full creative expression.

You want the freedom to do what you want, when you want.

You want to feel clear, confident, and capable of creating anything you want.

… BUT, as you consider making a change, your mind gets busy about predicting and wanting to plan for everything that could possibly go wrong.

As hopeful and determined as you are about creating the best and fastest path to what you want most, it’s a struggle to figure out what’s needed, how to get out of your own way, how to break the habits and patterns that aren’t helpful. And what tends to happen instead is, that cage becomes a great place for a much-needed nap!

Relate?

In Video #2 of my No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training, I drop Two Keys for you to unlock the door and set yourself free so that you can take the first steps to own the extraordinary power and influence you have over your life.

Powerful stuff!

Want the keys that unlock the cage ?

Claim your seat today – just $197 for 6-weeks of support.

Let’s do this thing.

To success on your own terms,

 Tara Sage