Sorry. I don’t usually ALL CAPS my posts because I know it can feel like someone is yelling at you. Maybe it’s jet lag, but today I’m uncensored and there’s something I want to yell a bit about, so I’ll cut right to it.
When you want to make a change in your life, it is totally ok and a very common experience to get overwhelmed or feel confused. Like, totally-completely-utterly normal and to be expected!
But – these feelings are NOT a free pass to deflect responsibility for your actions, or inactions.
What people tend to do is this:
Sign up for something, enthusiastic and excited to make a change, to go for that dream, to learn new things, shift some habits, and finally create their desired outcome. (A typical example is joining a gym on January 2nd, and then fizzling out on actually GOING by January 15th.)
When things get challenging – as learning new things and shifting old habits tend to do – overwhelm sets in. This is when the second-guessing starts. They question their decision and convince themselves that now is not the time, that they made a mistake, that they should WAIT…
until work calms down
until the kids are grown
and the taxes are done
until the basement is organized
until the weather changes
Rather than show up NOW for themselves and their dreams…
They surrender to the circumstances of their life.
They decide to wait for those circumstances to somehow perfectly align FIRST.
Left unchecked, their confused brain may even convince them that *overwhelm* IS the problem and that this is what will solve it.
But – that. is. not. how. it. works.
And, really, they knew this – which is WHY they signed up for the program and set the goal to transform those circumstances and make those changes in the first place!
The answer is not: Default to familiar comforts, habits, and the beliefs that got you where you ARE!
Allowing that to happen is kind of like driving in reverse, or going halfway into a tunnel only to turn around and go back out the same way you came in.
Rather than stay in the driver’s seat of their life…
And stay the course…
Rather than lead with the potential that they knew was possible when they signed up…
They surrender, while claiming that “overwhelm” is to blame. Or that confusion is the cause.
When, ironically, all they needed to do instead was REACH OUT for support. The kind of support that helps them get beyond the overwhelm and beyond the confusion and back in aligned action with what they ultimately want to achieve/create/become.
People who are committed to their own growth don’t allow this kind of default mode to happen.
They know that “I felt overwhelmed” does not equal “I am not responsible for what I didn’t do because of it.”
They learn to EXPECT and plan for overwhelm and confusion.
Excused be damned. They show up anyway and ask for help.
Especially in those “I’m not sure what to do” moments, they ask for support so that they don’t wind up chasing their tail, derailing their momentum, or putting their dreams back up on that dusty old shelf.
Ghosting the people who are there to support you, is ghosting yourself.
Giving credence to the false logic that says, “overwhelm made me not do it” or “confusion is to blame for me not following through” is a mistake. It’s self-sabotage and BS at its best.
Ok. I’m going to sign off here and go get some sleep.
I have more to say about this so I’ll be back next week with ‘HOW you have to show up for yourself (part 2)’. In part two, I’ll share what my experience in Italy and the pursuit of my own dreams has taught me about SHOWING UP, so that YOU can show up for yourself too!