In today’s “Tips from Tara” episode, I share something that took me years to come to terms with:
I am NOT an Independent Woman. And, you know what? Neither are you.
Gender really isn’t important here so let me re-state:
I am NOT an Independent Person — and, dare I say, neither are YOU.
If you’re thinking, “Hey, you don’t know me! How can you say that, Tara? ‘Independent’ is my middle name!”
Trust me, I get it. >>>> Historically, I’ve prided myself on being independent. I’m a solopreneur. I’ve traveled internationally, alone. I’ve owned property, by myself. I’ve been a landlord – actually I prefer “landlordess”. 🙂 Either way, I did it by myself.
I could go on and on with examples of how I rationalized my sense of pride and striving for independence.
But the Truth is I’m NOT independent. I’m profoundly INTER-dependent — and so are you.
To give you an example of what I mean here… a client of mine, an accomplished athlete, said something along the lines of, “I’m so tired of doing everything by myself.” And who can’t relate to that feeling?
I asked her to give me and example of something she does by herself and she said, “Marathons.”
I challenged her.
“Really? Who made your sneakers? Are there water stations along your route? Who set those up? Are there people cheering you on as you go? Did you grow all the food that’s fueling your body?”
(You get the idea.)
The truth is we are profoundly interconnected and profoundly interdependent and profoundly supported.
And while feeling capable as an individual is valid and important, if being “independent” is fundamentally built-in to your sense of identity, this may be a belief or a construct that limits you, that keeps you removed from collaboration, anxious or even resentful about needing to do everything by yourself, AND – more than likely pretty gosh-darned tired!
Here’s an alternative to all that …
It is time to breath into the high truth of your inter-dependence. The truth of YOU as an integral part of the whole.
Embracing and appreciating this can create more ease, experience more gratitude and grace, and savor the experience of being supported.
Together we really are so much more.
Ready to connect and experience an entirely new level of appreciation, grace, ease and the power of support?
As my GIFT to you, let’s connect for a complimentary 1:1 session and explore the possibilities together: Session With Tara.
I whole-heartedly invite you to open up to receive this fully, to say yes to support. In our session I will be my A-game and my experience successfully serving clients since 2004. See client success stories here.
Ready to live boundlessly and create a life (and business) you don’t need a vacation from? No more waiting for later. Together, we’re going to team up on behalf of your best self, and your best life, and make today your someday.
Breaking News: We have a serial killer in our midst.
In record numbers, people are finding themselves stuck in sneaky paralyzing behavior patterns, living uninspired lives that could otherwise be extraordinary, caught up in the numbing nonsense of a false logic loop, behavioral BS, or an endless epidemic of Someday Syndrome.
Far too many dreams go to the grave.
There’s a serial killer in our midst that never makes the news.
And this fires me up.
Because here’s the thing:
When you stop waiting on your dreams,
and you stop squashing your inspired ideas,
and you stop taming your deepest desires,
and you stop telling yourself “later” and “maybe someday”
and you re-write the rules,
and you shift your focus,
and you draw some lines in the self-sabotaging sand,
and you get the right support,
and you get into aligned action with what REALLY makes all the difference ….
you realize a completely new level of what you’re capable of,
and you experience new heights of joy and freedom,
and head-space …
And you start to get fired up too.
Because you see it everywhere too.
You see how norms are nonsense.
You witness ‘someday’ kill yet another dream, in broad daylight.
Defy the odds and refuse to be its next victim.
Decide that not on YOUR watch will it have its way with you.
On this day in 2012, I started salsa lessons, taught by Carlos Gonzalez of MamboPaTi Dance Studios – not only a great dancer, but a great teacher (a rare combo). The rest, as they say, is history.
The dance floor quickly became home for me. My sweaty sanctuary. A place of freedom, friendship, and fun.
A psychic I met once told me that latin dance is a past life (re)connection for me. I was caught off guard by the tears that instantly welled up in my eyes. Truth makes me cry, and while not something I had ever considered before, her words felt true. So perhaps that explains something, but either way, I’m just so grateful to have found it. The joy Latin dance has brought to my life is immeasurable. I think my t-shirt in this picture, dancing with a friend at The Salsa Room in Arlington, says it all.
I “speak” salsa, and bachata, rather fluently. Dance is a language and I love being able to show up on a dance floor – wherever I happen to be – put on my salsa shoes, and let the conversations happen.
I’ve danced in Providence (where I learned), several places in Boston, many clubs and socials in New York City (the BEST), a slew of venues in and around the DC metro DC/MD/VA area, a few spots in Orlando, and Destin, and several really great socials in Tampa. I’ve danced in Philly, in Richmond, VA, a few times in Raleigh, NC, and Charlotte, NC, and in Savannah, GA, twice. I’ve danced three or four times in Burlington, VT, a few times in Knoxville, TN, and the Dominican Republic. And if merengue in a living room in Puerto Rico counts, then add PR to the list. There are many more states, commonwealths, and countries yet to be danced.
Like anything though, it’s not all fun and flow-state.
I’ve fallen more than once on a dance floor. One time my heel got caught in the lace of my other shoe and, thankfully, I landed face first in the lap of someone seated next to the dance floor. It was awkward, but at least he broke my fall. (LOL)
I’ve been stepped on, more than once. I’ve bled after the heel of another woman’s shoe scraped the back of my ankle – ouch. Another time, a man stepped on my foot with hard shoes and it broke my toe — it took months for me to heal. I’ve also been clocked in the nose and the side of my head by a stray elbow or wrist (ladies and gents, *please*, keep the styling tight and close when the dance floor is crowded).
But — after each instance, I brushed myself off, iced my nose, or stayed off my foot long enough for it to heal … and then, I keep on dancing. 🙂
So here’s to celebrating the dance of life — for all it’s beauty, all it’s fun, all it’s foibles, and all it’s fabulousness. Sometimes smooth. Sometimes risky. Sometimes sexy. Sometimes awkward. Sometimes slow. Sometimes fast. Sometimes a bit off balance. Sometimes deliciously in synch. Almost always sweaty – and definitely fun.
Other than the time needed for my foot to heal, I’ve rarely gone more than a few weeks without dancing over these past 6 years. And I’ve never left saying, “I wish I hadn’t come.”
I’m excited to share that my article “My Journey to Nomadic Living” is included in the just released April/May 2018 issue of Linda Joy’s Aspire Magazine. I hope it speaks to you! Please read, comment, share with others, and scroll down for the link to access the full Aspire Magazine issue.
In this issue, you’ll find topics including shifting your money mindset, relationship transformation strategies, mindfulness, the Enneagram, and more. When you peek inside you’ll see why I’m excited to be a part of this high-vibe issue alongside so many inspiring contributors. Enjoy!
Take a quiet moment. Pause, for juuuust a quick moment, now, and take a few breaths. Connect to that place inside you where your deepest dreams and desires reside, where your imagination speaks. Have a peek. Have a listen.
Journey in and lock eyes for a single delicious moment with a longing that is palpable within you. It’s there. It’s always there, waiting for you to pay attention. The real dreams don’t go away. They wait.
Hold in your mind’s eye a vision of what makes your heart skip a beat and turns up the brightness on the light from within. Set aside needing to know HOW to make it happen, for now. Resist “the how hole”. Just let yourself see it, know it, and want it. Remind yourself that within our vast Universe of Possibility, you couldn’t even dream your dream if it was utterly impossible. Believe in it, even and especially if you have no freakin’ clue how to make it so.
Whenever you choose, you can go right back to being skeptical and jaded and overwhelmed. But, first, like a sexy soul who catches your eye from across a room, for a sliiiiight moment longer than is comfortable, hold your gaze with what you want. Let it know that you see it – that you know it’s there, here, within you.
Give it a fist bump, or a wink of acknowledgement. Assure it that while it might be a secret to others, it is no secret to you. Let it know that its whispers aren’t falling on deaf ears. Thank it for all the ways it nudges you to grow and realize the truth of what you’re capable of. Honor it for challenging you to be a bigger bolder full-expression version of yourself. Give a wisdom-filled nod, with a certain knowing that dream realization is really about self-actualization.
If the grandeur of your boundless potential makes you blush, then blush. And breath. And keep imagining the possibilities. And keep visiting this place, again and again, because it’s always available and it’s always delighted and eager to connect with YOU. Give it love. The more love you give it, the better. Give it because you don’t want it to feel neglected. And give it because, when you do, your life gets easier and more joy-filled. Remind yourself that it’s okay for life to be easier and a whole lot more fun.
Good job. Ok, you can go back to whatever you were doing now. Or, if you’d like to journey further into this realm with personalized support and dream-propelling jet fuel, then you and I really should chat. If you can dream it, I can coach it. www.sessionwithTara.com