The Brule Breakers Spotlight

The Brule Breakers Spotlight

The Brule Breakers Spotlight

I’ve heard some really cool stories this week and I want to share a couple of them with you.

After I put out a call asking for stories about a time when you broke a “brule,” where you didn’t settle for status quo, or do what others expected, or where you blazed your own trail, colored outside the lines, challenged conventions… several people responded.

I want to highlight a few, because what these stories demonstrate so well are some of the primary categories and areas of influence that “brules” tend to find their way into.

From self-care to systemic, and from business to culture.

Brules are insidious and they find their way into so many areas of our lives.

Here’s a quick example of each:

Self-care

I received this story from a dancer: When she was pregnant, she was dancing with the community college ballet company. Others told her to stop dancing, even suggesting that a previous miscarriage she’d had was caused by her dancing, that she’d have to stop dancing after the baby was born anyway because being a mom would take up all her time, so she might as well stop now. She said no. She said, “I am bringing him into my world, not him bringing me into his.” And that’s exactly what she did. She danced until the end of the first week of her ninth month, and brought her son with her everywhere, including the dance studio. Now, decades later, she is still dancing.

Breaking self-care brules takes a strong sense of self and an unwillingness to abandon your own clarity, even when others don’t condone it. 

Systemic 

I heard from a woman who shared stories of struggle, battling against systemic brules and the patriarchy. Everything from fighting injustice caused by a big corporate company, to navigating the court system to get child support. She also shared experiences she’s had when bucking social norms about what a woman should and shouldn’t do or be.

Breaking systemic brules is not easy. A ton of endurance and perseverance is required – even for small wins.

Business 

Another story I received was from a business owner who shared having made a pivotal decision to change the entire structure of her business, despite the business’ success. She was making good money. It was steady and predictable and paid her bills, but she was frustrated by the work, daily. She’d achieved “success” on paper, but at what cost? It was weighing heavy on her and she made the brave and hard decision to let those clients go and restructure how she worked and who she worked with. She broke the often unspoken “brule” that when you build something, you have to stick with it. That if you build a sound business, you should continue it. That it is not only not financially wise, but utterly irresponsible to make sweeping changes or to quit on what’s working. But, that’s exactly what she did. She created a totally new business, blazing a brand new trail to do the work she loves and continues to do to this day.

Entrepreneurship is the epitome of brule breaking because there’s no map when you’re blazing your own trail. It takes enormous commitment, a deep belief in your vision, and a strong sense of service to create success that is not only financially viable and sustaining, but also fulfilling. (Ask me how I know.) 

Cultural

Here, I’m going to get on my soap box for a moment and share an example of my own. As an author, this is an issue that hits home for me. I personally think the book bans that are happening in our world are a modern-day form of prohibition. (prohibooktion? 😜) And, like prohibition, it won’t work. To help join the cause to ensure this, I stand in solidarity with writers and readers everywhere. As an expression of this commitment, for every new member who joins The Brule Breakers Club, I’ve decided that my company will donate 3% of every registration to PEN America, a non-profit working to ensure that people everywhere have the freedom to create literature, convey information and ideas, express their view, and access the views, ideas, and literatures of others. I am proud to support the PEN America mission while also supporting my beloved clients to thrive, break the brules, and realize your grandest visions for your next chapter.

Movements are born through subversive acts of breaking cultural brules. In this realm, there is power in numbers. 

In closing, brule breaking is about doing the things that you really want, and stepping up to the plate to claim and create what is yours, standing up for the things you believe in, without playing into the limits of society, or what someone else says you “should” do.

It’s about trusting the inner knowing that there’s something more for you, and then finding a way to make that happen.

It has been so inspiring hearing these stories all week.

Now, as we head into the holidaze, er, I mean, the holidays… from my heart to yours, I hope yours is full of love and joy and light.

I hope you savor and enjoy all the wonderful traditions that feel great to you and that you do not hesitate to make new traditions where old ones don’t fit the bill anymore. (Holiday brules can be just as sneaky as the rest!)

If you are someone who is ready to break some brules, see your blind spots, and create the life you dream of, and you know you’re ready for something more, and you don’t want to feel limited and you don’t want to feel obligated… then stay tuned and be on the lookout for invitations from me in your inbox in the coming weeks.

I am so excited about all I’ll be sharing about The Brule Breakers Club and how you can join me in the new year.

With so much love,

Applied Psychology Coach & Author of The Brules of Life
Break some brules!

Break some brules!

There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated, drowning in student loan debt, and living in a basement apartment with my cat. I felt utterly trapped, and I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.

While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL.

It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It is considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. It’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day.

And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.

It’s normal, sometimes, for us to be doing all the “right” things – to be suffering and dreaming while we’re there – and, through all of that, have people telling us “this is just the way it is.” Pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules” (a.k.a. BS rules).

I discovered how “brules” were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals.

“Working in a strong career track is responsible, so you should stay no matter how much you hate it.”

“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”

“Given your student loan debt, embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”

I discovered how these so-called “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us.

Yes, I was doing the “responsible thing.” But I felt trapped and miserable.

It was keeping me away from my dreams.

So, I set out to learn how to break them.

And it changed everything.

From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic.

And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too. The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That ALL that you want is possible.

Your dream life, and dream career. Your dream finances, dream relationships and dream living situation. And your dream travels…

Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the “brules” that tell you you can’t.

I invite you to take the leap and become a Brule Breaker.

A brule breaker is a person who doesn’t settle for status quo “it’s just the way it is” existence.

Rather than default to “norms,” they question convention, they challenge unhelpful narratives that keep most people in a box. They go beyond where most stop, where most people are kept from pursuing their dreams and goals. They break the brules.

Brule breaking isn’t easy.

Since brules are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview, they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned.

Brule breakers do the work of deconstructing brules. They identify default patterns and they challenge psychological and behavioral blind spots so that they can live their best life without false limitations.

This is best done in a supportive space that encourages you to realize that change IS possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That’s why I created The Brule Breakers Club. Brule breakers are dreamers and doers, trail blazers that help one another make the changes needed to live their dreams and become self-actualized. Brule breaking changes everything. Breaking the brules of life is what helps you create a new kind of freedom.

>>> Visit bookofbrules.com for details & join now!