There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated, drowning in student loan debt, and living in a basement apartment with my cat. I felt utterly trapped, and I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.
While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL.
It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It is considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. It’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day.
And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.
It’s normal, sometimes, for us to be doing all the “right” things – to be suffering and dreaming while we’re there – and, through all of that, have people telling us “this is just the way it is.” Pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.
While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules” (a.k.a. BS rules).
I discovered how “brules” were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals.
“Working in a strong career track is responsible, so you should stay no matter how much you hate it.”
“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”
“Given your student loan debt, embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”
I discovered how these so-called “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us.
Yes, I was doing the “responsible thing.” But I felt trapped and miserable.
It was keeping me away from my dreams.
So, I set out to learn how to break them.
And it changed everything.
From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic.
And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too. The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.
That ALL that you want is possible.
Your dream life, and dream career. Your dream finances, dream relationships and dream living situation. And your dream travels…
Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the “brules” that tell you you can’t.
I invite you to take the leap and become a Brule Breaker.
A brule breaker is a person who doesn’t settle for status quo “it’s just the way it is” existence.
Rather than default to “norms,” they question convention, they challenge unhelpful narratives that keep most people in a box. They go beyond where most stop, where most people are kept from pursuing their dreams and goals. They break the brules.
Brule breaking isn’t easy.
Since brules are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview, they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned.
Brule breakers do the work of deconstructing brules. They identify default patterns and they challenge psychological and behavioral blind spots so that they can live their best life without false limitations.
This is best done in a supportive space that encourages you to realize that change IS possible, that what you WANT is possible.
That’s why I created The Brule Breakers Club. Brule breakers are dreamers and doers, trail blazers that help one another make the changes needed to live their dreams and become self-actualized. Brule breaking changes everything. Breaking the brules of life is what helps you create a new kind of freedom.
>>> Visit bookofbrules.com for details & join now!
It’s what propelled Laurie to fulfill her dream to move to Costa Rica.
It’s what propelled David to make a major career shift so he could reprioritize time with his family.
Also what propelled Friderike to double her income while growing her business in a way that felt fun.
It’s what propelled Janina to leave her corporate career and set out toward entrepreneurship, empowered with a new kind of confidence.
It’s what propelled Tom to make his acting career come alive.
And it’s what propelled Lisa to launch her career as a professional organizer while also creating the time-freedom she so desired…
These are just a few examples.
I call it the Dream Acceleration Push-Pull Effect, and it can be dream-propelling jet fuel for the life you dream of … a life that, right now, perhaps you think you cannot have.
Here’s how it works.
Your deepest, truest, dreams and goals PUSH you out of your comfort zone. They inspire and push you to reach for what you want. (This, in a nutshell, is the Push Effect, and why it’s so important to get clear and stake a claim to your deepest, truest dreams and desires.)
And the prospect of who you get to be PULLS you. It PULLS you toward self-mastery. It PULLS you toward full expression. And it PULLS you toward self-actualization. It PULLS you into your potential, seducing and inviting you to step into BEING the Big You, to reach deep within yourself and develop into the person your dreams require you to BE in order for their fulfillment. It PULLS and compels you to grow.
The power of the Dream Acceleration Push-Pull Effect is NOT to be underestimated!
But it’s tough – sometimes impossible – to do it on your own.
When we are in a space with people that help us S-T-R-E-T-C-H, we build the muscle of changing our perspective, of seeing and bringing in POSSIBILITIES where none seemed to exist before.
When you are open to that kind of environment, you start to feel the benefits of this PUSH-PULL EFFECT.
That’s exactly the kind of environment I create.
Ready to find out for yourself?
Let’s do a Session with Tara, a free 1:1 assessment call where we will talk about your goals and your dreams and all of the things that haven’t felt possible before so we can get that dream-propelling jet fuel ignited for you, so that you can learn how to apply this for yourself to the life you dream of. You’ll walk away from our call not only with more confidence in your dreams and goals, but also with a roadmap to understanding exactly how to make them REAL.
Yours in the push, and the pull,
In order to make your dreams real, it is very important that we create a space where your dreams and goals are gaining accelerated momentum.
Accelerated momentum is when renewed zest for life and a new kind of confidence takes hold within you.
It’s when the life you’ve been trying to breathe into your dreams, starts breathing life into YOU!
When accelerated momentum takes hold, you are no longer caught in the weeds, no longer doubting or questioning if you will live your dreams, no longer believing that you can’t, and no longer making or buying your own excuses.
Accelerated momentum is essential because dreams require energy and attention! And when your energy is scattered, or you’re waffling between this choice and that choice, this action and that action, or in a constant start, stop, start, stop, start, stop rhythm … momentum doesn’t ever have a chance to really get rolling.
Here are 3 keys to creating accelerated momentum on behalf of YOUR dreams:
(1) Teamwork makes the dream work. Private coaching is one of the most powerful forms of support you’ll ever experience. Gain personalized feedback, accountability, brainstorming, resources and highly focused, forward-oriented coaching – all personalized to YOU.
Like Kimberly … who had this to say about her experience in The Dream Acceleration Program: “I learned a process of becoming more, becoming my best self. I did the work of transforming my dreary existence into a beautiful life, but I couldn’t have done it without Tara’s coaching. She holds the space for you to truly up-level your life, and guides you through the process of becoming your fully actualized self.”
(2) Go beyond fear and doubt. Fear is a normal natural part of the process, but we want to make sure it’s not directing your decisions and your life. One key skill to learn is how to master the psychology of fear and build your courage.
Like Rob, who had this to say about his experience in The Dream Acceleration Program: “I’ll admit, I was a little skeptical about spending the money, but I think that in itself is when you have a breakthrough moment … when YOU decide to invest in YOU! Once you make the commitment to pursue what you want most out of life, Tara can take you there.”
(3) Build your belief along with your skills. Step by step, create real momentum on a life that reflects your deepest dreams and desires. From there, anything you want in the future will be yours because you will have the tools to create it!
Like Stephanie … who had this to say about her experience in The Dream Acceleration Program: “I learned how to eliminate the obstacles and move towards my dreams with energy and enthusiasm. This process is one I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I now feel as if there is nothing I cannot do or conquer.”
Want to learn more and join me for this 6-month private one-on-one coaching space, where we start from exactly where YOU are, and work on managing your energy, prioritizing what to give your attention and energy to, clarifying and removing obstacles, and planning out and providing you with complete support to step into a bigger vision for who you are and how you get to live?
If yes, I’m happy to chat and explore together how this process can make your blind spots vanish and new possibilities emerge, so that you finally create and live the life you’ve dreamed of. Claim a spot on my calendar for a call at www.sessionwithtara.com.
As you consider making a change, it’s normal for your mind to swing from predicting and wanting to plan for everything that could possibly go wrong, to wanting to focus on creating the best and fastest path to what you want most.
Your inner dialog may sound something like this:
If so …
First, big hug. I know it’s frustrating to be working so hard while feeling like you’re falling short of your potential, maybe wondering silently or out loud if this is all you will ever do, be, or have.
You’ve done amazing things for yourself, but I know you want more.
I imagine that, while you’ve thought about going for your bigger dreams, whatever they are, you also don’t want to lose what you’ve worked so hard to create – your relationships, your security, your reputation, even your family.
And, let’s be honest, it’s easy to get freaked out by the prospect of change. Also totally understandable, because it all feels so UNCERTAIN.
Maybe up to now, you’ve thought it best to put your dreams on the back burner, for a time. You’ve had your reasons, and I honor that.
BUT – I also know that while you don’t want to lose what you’ve worked hard for, there’s a desire for MORE – be it a desire for more freedom, to be more yourself, or simply that you’ve been waiting long enough to act on the dreams in your heart, dreams that don’t seem to go away!
In The Dream Acceleration Program, one proven step at a time, we massively accelerate the realization of your deepest dreams and goals. We build on what you’ve already created, all while becoming more fully yourself, so that you can have your biggest dreams, be your biggest self, AND create deeper relationships, increased confidence, free time to do what you want with – and more because of it!
If you see yourself in any of this, claim a session and let’s discuss it further.
Independence is a myth.
I challenge you to bring to mind one thing you do that is truly independent of all others.
What comes to mind? Is it truly and completely independent?
The reality is, if you are using anything made by or involving other people to do anything, you are not independent.
This is not a bad thing, though I can certainly empathize if, like I did, you have wrapped aspects of your identity around the idea of independence and have the challenge of unraveling it ahead of you.
Evidence of your inherent interdependence is everywhere.
Here’s a little exercise to demonstrate this:
The very water you drink: Do you go to a well to get it? Did you dig the well? Did you build the bucket you use to hold water? If so, did you make the tools you used to make the bucket? Did you cut down the tree that gave you the wood for the tools used to make the bucket and the chair you sit in? Who made the shoes and clothes that keep you warm?
“If you’re thinking, “I bought those things and my means allow my independence,” consider, who printed the money you used to purchase them? What service or product did you provide to earn it? To whom did you provide it? Who taught you your trade? How did the money earned find its way into your account? Who manages the money you have?
Independence is a grand delusion. And a harmful one at that.
(👆 All of the above is an excerpt from my book, The Brules of Life.)
Independence is detrimental to your dreams because it means you’ll be trying to do it all alone. And that is unsustainable and exhausting.
Deconstructing the myth of independence is key to living your dreams and creating a life you don’t need a vacation from because, truth be told, we can’t – and we don’t – do it alone.
Embracing this fact allows you to be an active receiver, of not only support, but also your dream. Often, in order to accept support requires us to give up any false narrative, or egoic pride about being “self-made” or “independent.”
We are interdependent.
Leaning into this is a proactive strategy and a skill all its own, to create conscious partnerships and collaborations – in our relationships, our families, our businesses, our communities, and our world.
Along the lines of intentional conscious collaboration, one question my clients and I explore together is: “Who’s on your Dream Team?”
While I am obviously a royal member of my clients’ Dream Team 😉 … one of the many ways I support them in this role is in helping them build out their Dream Team to include others who help and support them in all the ways.
I want my clients to be fully supported, to have not just me, but a freakin’ village if that’s what’ll serve them best. We ALL need support, and intentionally establishing a team of support is how we create and enhance our own personal Culture of Dreaming (a space where dreams expand, evolve, and are realized right and left).
Since we can’t — and don’t — do it alone, THIS is what creates a life that is so fully aligned and satisfying and creative and expansive and fun AND has next level support for greater ease, joy, impact, and flow…
So, as a celebration of YOUR interdependence, imagine your very own personal Dream Team, and ask:
- What kind of support would bring YOU greater ease, joy, impact, and flow?
- Who do you want on your Dream Team? Why?
- What are the qualities, specialities, expertise, and services that nourish and support YOU?
- And who don’t you want on your Dream Team? Why? (Also super important and informative to recognize.)
When it comes to pursuing your dreams, I find that you generally tend to find out pretty quickly who’s on board with you and your dreams, and who’s not.
Naysayers especially tend to make themselves known. Like crabs who try to pull each other back into the bucket, there may be people in your life saying, “no! don’t change, don’t move, don’t shift careers, don’t go for that dream, etc…”
In The Dream Acceleration Program, we do both!
We create your dream team AND we create your naysayer navigation plan!
We get clear on what your Dream Team of support entails, and we ALSO get you set up and confident in determining your Naysayer Navigation Plan™ so that you know how and when and who to delegate to, how to build and establish even more community and support around your dreams, how to manage your energy, and also how to insulate and protect your dreams from naysayers who poo-poo what you’re up to or try to convince you that you can’t.
Ready to expand your Dream Team with its newest member? … ME! 😀 If so, claim a FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment Call, a 1:1 conversation to explore how I can personally support and serve you and your dreams. Set yourself up with the right support and a customized plan to get on the fast-track to the life you dream of.