Why your goals are out of reach

Did you know that Tuesdays are said to be the busiest, most productive workday of the week? (Do you hear the hamster wheel squealing?) 

If you feel caught on a hamster wheel in life and wonder if you should give up on your dreams, please don’t give up. 

Whatever it is that you’re wanting, I’m betting you know what needs to be done.

You set a goal

You make a plan to do what needs to be done

But what often happens is it quickly becomes a struggle to actually DO … all the while, your goals remain out of reach.

Am I right?

Without you realizing it, self-sabotage is often what KEEPS you on that hamster wheel.  

Give yourself the next 3 minutes and I’m going to share:

  • three ways to SPOT self-sabotaging thought patterns, and 
  • how to STOP them from slowing down your success

Self-sabotaging thoughts are false beliefs that you have unconsciously accepted as the laws of your life. They typically live undisturbed on a repeating thought-loop that, on a neurological level, becomes a pathway in your brain of well-tread trails. They are thoughts that aren’t helpful, that can become beliefs that only add to your struggle and strife. 

Said another way, it’s what I like to refer to simply as your brain on brules.

From my 20+ years of helping people not just dream but actually LIVE those dreams … in order to get off that hamster wheel, be on the lookout for these 3 Self-Sabotaging Thought Patterns:

  1. Black and white thinking  These include “always” and “never” thoughts like, “I’ll never succeed.” or “I always fail.” A really harmful form of black and white thinking is when an experience gets turned into an identity, a foundational and detrimental self-concept, like: “I am a failure.” Black and white thinking is an all-or-nothing perspective that leaves no room for nuance.
  2. Mind reading  Examples of this are “people will think” statements, like “If I don’t go to the party, people will think I’m rude,or “ If I go after what I want, people will think I’m selfish.”
  3. Fortune telling  Fortune telling assumes that the future is already known. An example of this might be: driving to an event and deciding in advance that the drive is going to be difficult and the event is going to suck. 🫤 (Fortune telling can actually become a self-fulfilling prophecy, focusing only on the things that confirm your thoughts.)

Learning to spot your own thought patterns is a powerful step in breaking them. In fact, spotting them IS a break in pattern because now you’re observing these thought-loops instead of living from them as if they are true. 

To spot the ”brules” in YOUR brain, do this simple journaling exercise:

  • Identify a circumstance you’re in the midst of and – with that circumstance in mind – write freely for 3 minutes. Spill your thoughts and feelings about it onto a page.
  • Re-read what you wrote to see if you can spot any of the 3 self-sabotaging thought patterns I shared above. 
  • Celebrate what you notice, knowing that noticing, alone, is a break in the old pattern. 

For bonus points, RE-WRITE any statements you’ve identified as self-sabotaging thought patterns and re-write the rules you accept as the laws of YOUR life

If you want to take this further, I’ve got a free Guidebook that you can download here where I help you bring goal-setting to life. 

Let’s make today your “someday.”