Why your complaints and frustrations matter

Why your complaints and frustrations matter

In my book, The Brules of Life, I share that prior to starting my business, I was:
– in a 9-5 job
– drowning in student loan debt
– living in a basement apartment with my cat
At that time in my life, I had no shortage of complaints about these circumstances. And yet, each one of them informed and inspired me to move in the direction of what I wanted.

This is available for you too .

Your complaints and frustrations are a nudge from your inner wisdom about what’s not fully aligned for you. 

This is GOLD!

Discontent is fuel for transformation. Sometimes tolerating too many “nos” in your life clutters up your mental bandwidth, making it difficult to be able to envision what you want with any degree of clarity or focus.

So, the good news:

When you hear those complaints and frustrations as a “no, this isn’t fully aligned for me” nudge … and you let that ‘NO’ go, you’ll have SPACE and will be that much more able to tune in and acknowledge the juicy awareness of the dreams and desires that are letting you know they are there.

“Nos” can serve as a powerful detour and avenue to an incredible amount of “yes”-filled clarity.

Your deepest dreams and desires await.

In my 6-week No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training, I help you amp up this clarity, deepen your awareness, and activate your confidence and commitment to create what you want and live into YOUR “Zone of Yes” life.

Learn more and claim your seat today – just $197.

Tara Sage

PS – Know you’re ready for this year to look different than last? Want to really take that fuel of discontent and transform your life into something that’s fully aligned for YOU? There are a few spots left for my free Top Shelf Assessment. Here’s how to claim it.
This takes your dreams from sepia to color

This takes your dreams from sepia to color

Ready to bring your dreams to life?

Something I’ve long taught my coaching clients is that you can’t create what you can’t imagine.

I recently learned some fascinating brain science research that seems to suggest too that you can’t imagine what you can’t REMEMBER.  << My overly simplistic version but keep reading to see that it’s not all that far-fetched, and why it matters!

Let me explain.

First, memory recall, across the board, is very inaccurate and therefore very unreliable. This is true across all ages. The evidence is abundant that your memory, and mine, is weak at best. From witness identification errors, to recalling personal circumstances of past experiences. It’s been widely documented that most memories are totally erroneous despite the fact that people believe they are remembering accurately.

Bottom line: When it comes to memory recall, inaccuracies are consistent.

This begs the question: If memory is so unreliable and inaccurate, what then is the evolutionary purpose of memory?

Scientists have wondered, if it’s not for the value of accurate recall, what is memory FOR?

Another important discovery: Those with memory disorders (whether due to a traumatic brain injury, or Alzheimer’s, or brain surgery where part of the brain was removed or impacted in a way that caused significant memory loss) … these folks don’t only have trouble recalling the past, they ALSO have tremendous difficulty imagining the future!

This fascinating fact has led scientists to a new theory about the evolutionary purpose of memory: That memory’s evolutionary life-sustaining purpose is less about accurate recall and more about how the function of memories enables and supports the ability to imagine the future.

Ok. Here’s where all these dots connect in my mind:

As someone whose entire educational foundation, extensive experience, and decades-long career has been centered around psychology, human behavior, and systems change … this brain science theory makes a whole lot of sense to me!

Here’s one way to think about it:

Imagining the future is a bit like painting a picture.

“Paint me the picture of what you would like your life to be. Help me see it with you.” << This is something I often ask my clients to do, so that I can see, imagine, delight in, and ultimately help them move forward to CREATE their desired future.

But – what if you were asked to paint a picture and you only had blue and black to paint it with?

How vivid a painting could you paint with just that limited palate?

Not very, amiright?

So … circling back to my opening statement that you can’t create what you can’t imaginelet’s break it down:

You can’t create what you can’t “see”.

And you can’t see what you can’t imagine.

And, perhaps too, you can’t imagine what you can’t remember…in the sense that memory serves as the palate you draw from, and therefore can create from.

The science suggests that memories support imagining!

And you know what imagining supports? Innovation.

Your memory therefore supports – or limits – your ability to design your future, to innovate about what’s possible.

Isn’t that fascinating?

THIS is why when a client comes to me feeling uncertain about what they want in their life and the picture of their desired future feels blurry and vague, a great place we often start is: remembering.

Drawing from your PAST, from your life experience, you have decades of recall opportunities about what you want to create, design, and experience going forward.

As you imagine, and reimagine, your future, a great place to start is to recall what has been fun, luscious, joyful, dynamic, nourishing, life-enhancing, and pleasure-filled from your past — be it 5 minutes ago, or when you were 5.

The science suggests that the more you are able to pull from what’s stored in your memory, the more colorful, luscious, and dynamic your future can be!

This is just one piece of what we unpack together in my 6-week No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint Training – enrolling now for just $197.

Let’s reimagine together.

Survival to “thrival”

Survival to “thrival”

Happy new year! Something I’m celebrating as I step into the new year is I’ve begun drafting pieces, paragraphs, and even a few chapters for my next book!

You see, I’m going for my dreams. Bit by bit, I know they are mine. In part because I’m supported in creating and receiving them, and I’m so grateful for that.

Most people default to playing it safe and never really go for their dreams.

In their defense, there are so many valid and important reasons to be cautious and careful.

Maybe life has taught you to be this way. I know mine did.

Yet even despite this, I also know you’re eager to turn the corner on survival mode … to step into “thrival” and finally experience your life as not just what you have to do, but also what you wantto do.

It can be hard to know where to start.

But, pssst… guess what. You’ve already started!

By acknowledging this desire, even if in a quiet private way.

Even if you haven’t shared it with anybody, or said it out loud.

I’m so proud of you.

Acknowledging this inner knowing and this inner nudge is exactly how it starts.

This is the seedling within you, waiting to grow and blossom.

You water it, simply by noticing it. By turning towards, not away, from the fact that your desire for more is present.

Being with this desire, despite the circumstances, despite the doubts, despite your current surroundings, IS a start.

It starts with honoring that this desire, however vague or far-away-feeling it may be, is honest and true within you.

This takes incredible courage. In some ways maybe even more than someone who feels bold and big and brave about pushing their limits.

I see you, and I believe in you and your dreams. 💜

 

Tara Sage

PS – When you say “yes” to joining my 6-week No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training, which includes private e-coaching support throughout + a bonus 1:1 Strategy Session, (all for just $197 – an absolute steal!) … you are saying “yes” to not just the program and all the juicy support that comes with it. You’re also saying “yes” to exploring and deepening your clarity, to seeing and knowing exactly what will bring deep satisfaction to every area of your life. Want to gain crystal clarity on your vision for YOUR no-vacation-needed life? If so, this is the exact right place to be! I truly can’t wait to welcome you to this one-of-a-kind No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint Training and coach you through every bit of it.

 

I am NOT an Independent Woman – and neither are you.

In today’s “Tips from Tara” episode, I share something that took me years to come to terms with:

I am NOT an Independent Woman. And, you know what? Neither are you.

Gender really isn’t important here so let me re-state:

I am NOT an Independent Person — and, dare I say, neither are YOU.

If you’re thinking, “Hey, you don’t know me! How can you say that, Tara? ‘Independent’ is my middle name!”

Trust me, I get it.  >>>> Historically, I’ve prided myself on being independent.  I’m a solopreneur. I’ve traveled internationally, alone. I’ve owned property, by myself. I’ve been a landlord – actually I prefer “landlordess”. 🙂 Either way, I did it by myself.

I could go on and on with examples of how I rationalized my sense of pride and striving for independence.

But the Truth is I’m NOT independent. I’m profoundly INTER-dependent — and so are you.

To give you an example of what I mean here… a client of mine, an accomplished athlete, said something along the lines of, “I’m so tired of doing everything by myself.”  And who can’t relate to that feeling?

I asked her to give me and example of something she does by herself and she said, “Marathons.”

I challenged her.

“Really? Who made your sneakers?  Are there water stations along your route? Who set those up? Are there people cheering you on as you go? Did you grow all the food that’s fueling your body?”

(You get the idea.)

The truth is we are profoundly interconnected and profoundly interdependent and profoundly supported.

And while feeling capable as an individual is valid and important, if being “independent” is fundamentally built-in to your sense of identity, this may be a belief or a construct that limits you, that keeps you removed from collaboration, anxious or even resentful about needing to do everything by yourself, AND – more than likely pretty gosh-darned tired!

Here’s an alternative to all that …

It is time to breath into the high truth of your inter-dependence. The truth of YOU as an integral part of the whole.

Embracing and appreciating this can create more ease, experience more gratitude and grace, and savor the experience of being supported.

Together we really are so much more.

Ready to connect and experience an entirely new level of appreciation, grace, ease and the power of support?

As my GIFT to you, let’s connect for a complimentary 1:1 session and explore the possibilities together: Session With Tara.

I whole-heartedly invite you to open up to receive this fully, to say yes to support.  In our session I will be my A-game and my experience successfully serving clients since 2004.  See client success stories here.

Again the link to claim your session and get on my calendar is: www.sessionwithTara.com

Ready to live boundlessly and create a life (and business) you don’t need a vacation from? No more waiting for later. Together, we’re going to team up on behalf of your best self, and your best life, and make today your someday.

Go now to: www.sessionwithTara.com

See you there!

 

A “rantifesto” about MISTAKES

Maybe it’s got something to do with being in my 40s.  Perhaps it’s the culmination of decades of metaphysical searching and being a student of psychology. I’m pretty confident the thousands of people I’ve coached and/or “workshopped” while being in business since 2004 has got something to do with it. And maybe it’s the result of skillful listening to all the personal stories that I’ve heard. I also credit the breadth of cross-cultural experiences I’ve had and the traveling I’ve done…

Whatever the case, I AM SO *OVER* THE WHOLE PARADIGM OF CONCEPTUALIZING THINGS AS MISTAKES.

When you break down the word “mis-take”, it really just boils down to having the opportunity for another “take”.

Yet commonly, “mistake” and “wrong” are considered synonymous, and I’m done with that.

I truly don’t see choices made – especially after the fact – as right or wrong. That is far too binary and entirely too simplistic. I’m done attempting to fit things I’ve done and decisions I’ve made. and attempts at new ideas or directions, into rigid little judgement-filled, “should” and “shouldn’t”, “success” or “failure”, “right” or “wrong” categories of regret.

Are you with me on this?

I mean, really … if you haven’t done plenty of “oops” stuff in your life, you haven’t lived. (How else would we have gotten so wise and have so many terrific stories to tell, right?!?)

I have certainly taken my share of turns down roads I backed the heck out of soon after, and detours that required some serious navigation to find my way again.

But – I nonetheless have grown to love my mis-takes. 

Shame need not be a badge you wear as proof that you learned a lesson.

For realz.

If anything, wear a great big bright and colorful badge of self-forgiveness, self-love, personal freedom, and a sense of humor.

These alone are terrific outcomes due to a “mis-take”.

Wrong turn? Big whoopin’ deal. Now you know.

The choices you made were made from the level of understanding you had at the time. And when you know better you do better. Ready to real create momentum in a new and powerful direction? =>  Hire a stellar life coach and you’ll only further accelerate your success. [shameless plug I’m not sorry for]

Be honest: More likely than not, it probably wasn’t ALL “wrong”, so don’t throw “it” all out the window, unless of course that’s truly where it belongs. But much more likely, is you now have a whole lot more detail and nuanced clarity about what IS a fit for you and how to best proceed from here.

All great news. 

While you’re at it, don’t hold toooo TIGHT to the new vision, because unnerving as it is, this’ll likely evolve and change too!

Because as long as you’re alive you’re going to continue to grow and change and it only makes sense that your direction will change with you. Once you get wherever “there” is, there will always be another “there” to get to. What fits ‘just right’ now, doesn’t come with a guarantee that you won’t outgrow it later. (Sorry/You’re welcome.)

And if you do, it’s just time for (yet another) “take”.

I’ve personally coached people ages 21-74. It is NEVER too late to say this is ‘not it’.

In my opinion, this is what being alive is all about. Creating.  And recreating.

Our world is the laboratory and you and I are the experimenters, the creative inventors and tryer-on-ers and taker-off-ers. 🙂

The more lightness and kindness you can bring to your experiment called LIFE and its inevitable moment-by-moment unfoldings, the better – assuming you want joyful results.

Please understand: I am not in any way minimizing how difficult the process of moving through such awareness can be, and what’s really involved on the twisty-turny road to playful-living, self-love and self-forgiveness. I have cried on the bathroom floor. I’ve felt lost and alone at times, afraid I had really screwed things up.

Having been there, helps me coach others through it. Despite my Masters degree in Leadership and my Bachelors degree in Psychology, no text book I know of teaches this.

“Recalculations” and choosing a new path can be extremely messy and have some very real practical-level and relational-level impacts.

BUT – it’s still all just a big experiment! There is no eventual “arrival” in the seat of it’s-all-done-now, maybe until death. But you are alive – and so am I – and that means we are all meaning-making, change-making, improvisational manifesters and creators-of-our-own-experience. And not-a-one of us is 100% certain about what the heck we’re doing, or what exactly will result from our efforts.

It’s about being fully alive in the BECOMING.

It’s about living full out.

It’s about continuing to show up.

It’s about going for your dreams, no matter what.

It’s about being a work in progress, every minute of every day.

It’s about putting fear in it’s place (in the trunk, not at the steering wheel).

And ultimately it’s about you being YOU because, frankly, you are the world’s leading expert on your heart’s deepest, and evolving, desires.

Be your best and brightest version of you, as often as possible. Cliche as it may be, dance like noone’s watching – and dance like everyone’s watching, because really: who cares. I believe it’s also about leaving a legacy of as much JOY and good juju as you can. You may or may not feel called by a big mission-oriented cause, but don’t underestimate the impact you are – and can – make on the lives of others.  Dream big. Experiment. And when you mis-step, regroup, take a deep breath, and another take. 

Rant over. Thank you. Feel free to take the microphone from here.