No more pretending
Creating your life is an evolution, an ongoing expression of your freedoms and your being-ness.
Your life is the embodiment of your self-actualization.
Recognizing this, is the opposite of bypassing, and the opposite of avoiding.
The act of intentionally creating your life to be the reflection and expression of your freedoms, your potentials, your dreams, and the truth of who you are, is extraordinarily BRAVE.
Your life right now is the embodiment of your self-actualization (or lack thereof).
Your life right now is the barometer for your current level of self-actualization AND your current level of self-abandonment.
This is true for you. This is true for me.
When I was in a job that I knew was all wrong for me…
And when I felt trapped in a marriage that was full of dishonesty…
When home was a dark, musty, basement apartment…
And when my soul longed to travel, but I stayed put…
… all of this was an affront to my soul.
… and ALL of this was glaring evidence of my own self-abandonment.
Whatever degree self-actualization is lacking in your life is the same degree that self-abandonment is happening in your life.
A tough pill to swallow, but a truly powerful one too.
This is not about blame or shame. But it’s also not about pretending.
This kind of evidence-based self-inventory isn’t for the faint of heart.
Every example of self-abandonment is an opportunity to see what’s there.
To see, observe, learn from, and find fuel for change in the tangible evidence of your life’s creation, so far.
Seeing the YOU that is smack in the middle of it all is POWERFUL – not because you are the blame center, but because you are the POWER center.
YOU are the common denominator. And you can therefore choose to move away from self-abandonment and towards self-actualization.
You can choose to move away from what doesn’t light you up, and toward what does.
And you can choose to move away from fears about not enough, and toward enough-ness.
You can choose to move away from “I can’t” and toward “watch me figure it out.”
Doing this requires a whole lot of courage, self-inquiry, and self-integrity – asking, and seeing: What is aligned for me? What isn’t aligned for me? And, what do I really really want? If I had one year to live, what would I do with it? And if I had one year to live, what would I stop doing immediately?
Let NOW be time to get to the heart of the matter.
Objectively identifying what’s what, being fiercely honest with yourself, and then consciously deciding to grow into being the person who would (re)align what’s not, is the journey of self-actualization.
Creating a life that reflects the truth of who you are takes heart, and hutzpah. Not the “who” the world has told you to be, but who you ARE and the truth of your desires.
The work of self-actualization is not a strategy of separation.
It is not a way to distance yourself from the life you have.
And it is not about positioning yourself as the victim of your circumstances.
It is not about shame or blame or pretending. (I said that already, but it’s worth repeating.)
And, truth be told, it’s a mission that is never done. Until you leave this Earth, it’s an ongoing creation, moment by moment.
When on a mission of self-actualization, as long as you’re alive, there will always be “lag time” between who you ARE and the life you’re creating to be a reflection of that being-ness, that person.
It is therefore not a fixed point, and it is not a destination. It’s an expression. An evolutionary unfolding. It’s a journey of self-responsibility, of empowerment, of healing, and of doing what’s needed to shift any aspect of your life that isn’t for you.
Ultimately, this requires that you get intimate with yourself, and intimate with you life – both as it IS and as you wish it to be.
Step one is seeing what’s there. Stepping back to see the mirror that IS your life. Facing your life, perhaps as you never have before. And then, participating fully in its evolution and ongoing creation so that it can align that much more fully with the dreams in your heart and truth of YOU – who you are here to be.
Big love,
P.S. Self-inquiry eats regret for breakfast. Going after your dream life, finally living it, moving from your life now to the life you want to have – all of this can feel utterly terrifying! How do you know what you want? How do you get what you want? And how do you face all the uncertainty and that huge climb from where you are now to the life of your dreams? 👇
There’s one skill that unlocks all the rest. And my totally free and totally updated Only Skill You Ever Need guide and bonus chapter goes through exactly that.
Ready for that dream life of yours? Grab your free copy here.
If home is where the heart is, than my home spans continents. I chose this nomadic lifestyle, in part, because it means I can visit friends and family that I don’t get to see very often. It’s a real treat to be getting some in-person time with people I missed, and feeling right at home.
Recent Comments