A “rantifesto” about MISTAKES

Maybe it’s got something to do with being in my 40s.  Perhaps it’s the culmination of decades of metaphysical searching and being a student of psychology. I’m pretty confident the thousands of people I’ve coached and/or “workshopped” while being in business since 2004 has got something to do with it. And maybe it’s the result of skillful listening to all the personal stories that I’ve heard. I also credit the breadth of cross-cultural experiences I’ve had and the traveling I’ve done…

Whatever the case, I AM SO *OVER* THE WHOLE PARADIGM OF CONCEPTUALIZING THINGS AS MISTAKES.

When you break down the word “mis-take”, it really just boils down to having the opportunity for another “take”.

Yet commonly, “mistake” and “wrong” are considered synonymous, and I’m done with that.

I truly don’t see choices made – especially after the fact – as right or wrong. That is far too binary and entirely too simplistic. I’m done attempting to fit things I’ve done and decisions I’ve made. and attempts at new ideas or directions, into rigid little judgement-filled, “should” and “shouldn’t”, “success” or “failure”, “right” or “wrong” categories of regret.

Are you with me on this?

I mean, really … if you haven’t done plenty of “oops” stuff in your life, you haven’t lived. (How else would we have gotten so wise and have so many terrific stories to tell, right?!?)

I have certainly taken my share of turns down roads I backed the heck out of soon after, and detours that required some serious navigation to find my way again.

But – I nonetheless have grown to love my mis-takes. 

Shame need not be a badge you wear as proof that you learned a lesson.

For realz.

If anything, wear a great big bright and colorful badge of self-forgiveness, self-love, personal freedom, and a sense of humor.

These alone are terrific outcomes due to a “mis-take”.

Wrong turn? Big whoopin’ deal. Now you know.

The choices you made were made from the level of understanding you had at the time. And when you know better you do better. Ready to real create momentum in a new and powerful direction? =>  Hire a stellar life coach and you’ll only further accelerate your success. [shameless plug I’m not sorry for]

Be honest: More likely than not, it probably wasn’t ALL “wrong”, so don’t throw “it” all out the window, unless of course that’s truly where it belongs. But much more likely, is you now have a whole lot more detail and nuanced clarity about what IS a fit for you and how to best proceed from here.

All great news. 

While you’re at it, don’t hold toooo TIGHT to the new vision, because unnerving as it is, this’ll likely evolve and change too!

Because as long as you’re alive you’re going to continue to grow and change and it only makes sense that your direction will change with you. Once you get wherever “there” is, there will always be another “there” to get to. What fits ‘just right’ now, doesn’t come with a guarantee that you won’t outgrow it later. (Sorry/You’re welcome.)

And if you do, it’s just time for (yet another) “take”.

I’ve personally coached people ages 21-74. It is NEVER too late to say this is ‘not it’.

In my opinion, this is what being alive is all about. Creating.  And recreating.

Our world is the laboratory and you and I are the experimenters, the creative inventors and tryer-on-ers and taker-off-ers. 🙂

The more lightness and kindness you can bring to your experiment called LIFE and its inevitable moment-by-moment unfoldings, the better – assuming you want joyful results.

Please understand: I am not in any way minimizing how difficult the process of moving through such awareness can be, and what’s really involved on the twisty-turny road to playful-living, self-love and self-forgiveness. I have cried on the bathroom floor. I’ve felt lost and alone at times, afraid I had really screwed things up.

Having been there, helps me coach others through it. Despite my Masters degree in Leadership and my Bachelors degree in Psychology, no text book I know of teaches this.

“Recalculations” and choosing a new path can be extremely messy and have some very real practical-level and relational-level impacts.

BUT – it’s still all just a big experiment! There is no eventual “arrival” in the seat of it’s-all-done-now, maybe until death. But you are alive – and so am I – and that means we are all meaning-making, change-making, improvisational manifesters and creators-of-our-own-experience. And not-a-one of us is 100% certain about what the heck we’re doing, or what exactly will result from our efforts.

It’s about being fully alive in the BECOMING.

It’s about living full out.

It’s about continuing to show up.

It’s about going for your dreams, no matter what.

It’s about being a work in progress, every minute of every day.

It’s about putting fear in it’s place (in the trunk, not at the steering wheel).

And ultimately it’s about you being YOU because, frankly, you are the world’s leading expert on your heart’s deepest, and evolving, desires.

Be your best and brightest version of you, as often as possible. Cliche as it may be, dance like noone’s watching – and dance like everyone’s watching, because really: who cares. I believe it’s also about leaving a legacy of as much JOY and good juju as you can. You may or may not feel called by a big mission-oriented cause, but don’t underestimate the impact you are – and can – make on the lives of others.  Dream big. Experiment. And when you mis-step, regroup, take a deep breath, and another take. 

Rant over. Thank you. Feel free to take the microphone from here. 

 

Pregnant With A Dream: Meeting Lisa Nichols

Are YOU Pregnant With a Dream?  Now, I don’t mean a baby – but rather a dream that you KNOW you are meant to bring to life, to birth something that *if you don’t* you’ll always wonder what could have been…

In the words of Marianne Williamson “Each of us is pregnant with a better version of ourselves.”

So true.  I know first-hand what it feels like to have dreams that scare the bejesus out of me, and to simultaneously know that I *MUST* bring them to life, despite my sometimes overwhelming fear. That’s why I wrote the book, Are You Pregnant With a Dream?

As life coach and founder of Create Your Life!, I know what it takes to go from Fear to Freedom, and I have coached hundreds, soon to be thousands, on the magic and momentum that takes hold when my 9-step Dream Acceleration(TM) Process gets activated.

In September 2013, after watching a YouTube video of Ms. Lisa Nichols speaking (she was in the movie The Secret, a Chicken Soup for the Soul author, founder of Motivating the Masses, and so much more…) a dream was activated in me: I wanted to meet her.  Not in a celebrity-crazed-kind-of-way.  But in a … this-woman-is-powerful-and-the-real-deal-and-I-feel-absolutely-compelled-to-do-whatever-I need-to-to-meet-and-talk-to-her kind of way.  And, proof to the power of a dream-in-action, just two short months later, it happened! 

Here are some “selfies” that Lisa Nichols and I took after a little heart-to-heart.

(Read more on what’s extra-special about THIS photo below.)

And here’s one of her working her magic on stage:

A quick aside about that second photo of us standing in front of the Lisa Nichols poster:

I noticed that, in the poster, she has braces on her teeth – and I asked her about it.  Now, really, do you think she could have had that photoshopped out before blowing it up into a great big stand-on-it’s-own poster?  Shoot. Let’s be honest … I would’ve!

Of course she could have!  BUT – she had braces when the photo was taken, so that’s what’s in the picture.  How’s THAT for a little window into how *REAL* this woman is.  🙂

It was a true honor and a privilege to not only meet her, but even more … after our off-stage connection, there was a moment (during the height of her guiding the room through a mind-blowing belief transformation process), that I SAW her.  And – she saw me see her.

People were shouting and crying and doing all kinds of wild, free and full self-expression … an experience that left every person in that room forever changed …

She did what only the best speakers do: she got herself out of the way.  And in that moment, I SAW HER, with tears in her eyes, as the room was divided into our small groups doing the exercise she had given us to do.  She and I locked eyes.  It’s was a pregnant pause.  Beautiful beyond words.  One that I will never forget it.

Thank you, Lisa Nichols. Thank you Universe of Possibility.  It’s good to be alive.  It’s not always easy – but it’s so so good…  We are absolutely in this together.

So, again, may I ask … Are YOU Pregnant With a Dream?

May your dreams always inspire more than they intimidate.

Love and blessings,

Tara