THIS sucked

THIS sucked

On a good day, I felt restless. On a bad day, I felt like a caged animal.

Exasperated, I came home from work to my dark, musty, basement apartment – a glaring reminder that I was not just figuratively, but literally, underground. Drowning in student loan debt, I rarely answered my phone because collection agencies were calling me daily. Trying to find my way in the world wasn’t easy. Emotional and practical baggage of difficult family dynamics and estrangement seemed to be hitting me all at once. I felt like a victim of circumstances, dealt an unfortunate hand, profoundly alone in my struggles.

The job I begrudgingly got at an Ivy League university to establish some stability, looked good on paper, but my soul was dying, a little more every day. The last hour or so of each day was especially hard. Often finishing my work early, I’d sit at my desk waiting for the clock on the wall to say 5:00 so I could leave. I absolutely hated that.

Things were done in inefficient ways for no reason other than it’s the way they’d always done it. This felt archaic to me, but rethinking conventions wasn’t welcomed or encouraged. And the starched button-down shirt I wore, because I thought I should, felt like a straight-jacket, a costume that belonged to someone else – but not me. It all felt like an insult to my personal integrity, pride, and instinct for innovation.

I knew I couldn’t stay.

While going through the motions on all the things I thought I was supposed to do, I was losing myself. On autopilot, I’d drive to work, or the grocery store, or the gym (when I could get myself to go) feeling more and more disconnected from who I was. I wasn’t challenged, or inspired. I felt contained, micro-managed, and caught in status quo games that I didn’t want to play.

Truly, I felt like I was drowning, and I knew no one was coming to save me.

Underneath my restlessness and frustration, was a growing sense that I was meant for MORE, that this couldn’t possibly be all I was meant to do, be, or have.

I knew I needed to take the reins and reshape my life, to reshape my reality, to figure out how to not live in a basement apartment forever, to create a life that was my own, that reflected the truth of who I was.

It was from that dark, musty basement apartment that I gazed out that teeny-tiny window with a view of the sidewalk and the tires of cars passing by … and I’d dream.

I dreamed of having the freedom to travel when and where I please. Longing to work from anywhere, I dreamed of having my own location-independent company. I dreamed of a home with lots of natural light. Knowing I had books within me, I dreamed of becoming a bestselling author. I dreamed of wealth on my own terms. I dreamed of finding love. And I dreamed of having time and energy for creativity and play. I dreamed of making a positive impact, serving others in meaningful ways that made their life better. I dreamed of being myself without boundaries.

The voice of my soul, and seeds of my own self-actualization, were surfacing.

There was a huge difference between the caged, soul-crushing, autopilot life I felt constrained and uninspired by, and my dreams. 

The problem was I couldn’t figure out HOW and where to find a bridge between the two.

A few things were missing, and when I finally figured those out, everything changed. Quickly.

What was MISSING was…

  • Self-trust
  • Belief that my dreams were possible – that dreams were not just for other people, but for me
  • A way to see and transform my blind spots and expand my thinking

I needed to step up for myself, rather than waiting around for things to change, or others to approve. I needed to go from complaining about what my life currently was, to becoming the person that COULD and WOULD move out of it.

What I needed to LEARN was …

  • How to manage my energy
  • What to do with fear
  • How to navigate naysayers

I needed the skills and support to take the REINS on my life, to listen to my heart, and really take ownership of the life I dreamed and envisioned for myself. I needed to get out of my head, stop fear from running the show, and shift my focus from all the seeming limits of my current circumstances to finding strategies and ways forward that I couldn’t yet see but chose to believe were there to be found.

What I needed to DO was …

  • Get the right support
  • Take brave consistent action
  • Show up fully for what I was saying I wanted

I needed support from someone who’d been there. I needed perspective OUTSIDE what I’d already tried, a shift out of what had created the life I had, and into creating the totally different life I wanted.

So, I got support. And I changed my thinking. And I became a different version of me.

Spoiler alert: It worked.

Not only have I achieved my “impossible” dreams and the freedom I so craved, I have built a business and a profoundly fulfilling, decades-long career around helping others rethink conventions, chart their own course, live their dreams, rediscover themselves, and realize what’s possible.

I help you create the life you think you cannot have. 

Your dreams, like mine, are fuel on your path to self-actualization.

The first step along the way to THAT life? Want the key to reclaiming what’s missing, to create everything you want for yourself, to finally make that change? >> The Only Skill You Ever Need

Big love,

                                                                                                                                     .
Tara Sage

PS – You know what doesn’t suck? I’m in San Francisco this week to attend a women’s leadership conference where my company is a sponsor and where my book is featured in the swag bag given to every attendee. 😊 Proof that dreams come true.

Ready for that dream life of yours? Grab my totally free and totally updated Only Skill You Ever Need guide and bonus chapter. It goes through exactly how to KNOW what you want, GET what you want, where to start, and how to face the uncertainty along that climb from where you are now to the life of your dreams.

 

Independence is a myth and THIS is what’s real  

Independence is a myth and THIS is what’s real  

Independence is a myth.

I challenge you to bring to mind one thing you do that is truly independent of all others.

What comes to mind? Is it truly and completely independent?

The reality is, if you are using anything made by or involving other people to do anything, you are not independent. 

This is not a bad thing, though I can certainly empathize if, like I did, you have wrapped aspects of your identity around the idea of independence and have the challenge of unraveling it ahead of you. 

Evidence of your inherent interdependence is everywhere.

Here’s a little exercise to demonstrate this:

The very water you drink: Do you go to a well to get it? Did you dig the well? Did you build the bucket you use to hold water? If so, did you make the tools you used to make the bucket? Did you cut down the tree that gave you the wood for the tools used to make the bucket and the chair you sit in? Who made the shoes and clothes that keep you warm?

“If you’re thinking, “I bought those things and my means allow my independence,” consider, who printed the money you used to purchase them? What service or product did you provide to earn it? To whom did you provide it? Who taught you your trade? How did the money earned find its way into your account? Who manages the money you have?

Independence is a grand delusion. And a harmful one at that.

(👆 All of the above is an excerpt from my book, The Brules of Life.)

Independence is detrimental to your dreams because it means you’ll be trying to do it all alone. And that is unsustainable and exhausting.

Deconstructing the myth of independence is key to living your dreams and creating a life you don’t need a vacation from because, truth be told, we can’t – and we don’t – do it alone.

Embracing this fact allows you to be an active receiver, of not only support, but also your dream. Often, in order to accept support requires us to give up any false narrative, or egoic pride about being “self-made” or “independent.”

We are interdependent. 

Leaning into this is a proactive strategy and a skill all its own, to create conscious partnerships and collaborations – in our relationships, our families, our businesses, our communities, and our world.

Along the lines of intentional conscious collaboration, one question my clients and I explore together is: “Who’s on your Dream Team?”

While I am obviously a royal member of my clients’ Dream Team 😉 … one of the many ways I support them in this role is in helping them build out their Dream Team to include others who help and support them in all the ways. 

I want my clients to be fully supported, to have not just me, but a freakin’ village if that’s what’ll serve them best. We ALL need support, and intentionally establishing a team of support is how we create and enhance our own personal Culture of Dreaming (a space where dreams expand, evolve, and are realized right and left).

Since we can’t — and don’t — do it alone, THIS is what creates a life that is so fully aligned and satisfying and creative and expansive and fun AND has next level support for greater ease, joy, impact, and flow…

So, as a celebration of YOUR interdependence, imagine your very own personal Dream Team, and ask:

  • What kind of support would bring YOU greater ease, joy, impact, and flow?
  • Who do you want on your Dream Team? Why?
  • What are the qualities, specialities, expertise, and services that nourish and support YOU?
  • And who don’t you want on your Dream Team? Why? (Also super important and informative to recognize.)

When it comes to pursuing your dreams, I find that you generally tend to find out pretty quickly who’s on board with you and your dreams, and who’s not. 

Naysayers especially tend to make themselves known. Like crabs who try to pull each other back into the bucket, there may be people in your life saying, “no! don’t change, don’t move, don’t shift careers, don’t go for that dream, etc…” 

In The Dream Acceleration Program, we do both! 

We create your dream team AND we create your naysayer navigation plan!

We get clear on what your Dream Team of support entails, and we ALSO get you set up and confident in determining your Naysayer Navigation Plan™ so that you know how and when and who to delegate to, how to build and establish even more community and support around your dreams, how to manage your energy, and also how to insulate and protect your dreams from naysayers who poo-poo what you’re up to or try to convince you that you can’t. 

Ready to expand your Dream Team with its newest member? … ME! 😀 If so, claim a FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment Call, a 1:1 conversation to explore how I can personally support and serve you and your dreams. Set yourself up with the right support and a customized plan to get on the fast-track to the life you dream of.