Before joining Brule Breakers Club, know THIS

Before joining Brule Breakers Club, know THIS

Before joining Brule Breakers Club, know THIS

A question I get all the time is “Will this work for me? And if so, how fast?

But what I know people are REALLY asking is “Tara, how does connecting in a space like The Brule Breakers Club allow someone like me to grow and fulfill my dreams and goals?”

I love this question. Let me do my best here to answer it. 

Refreshingly unlike anything else I know of in the coaching/author space, by design, The Brule Breakers Club is a place where you get to PRACTICE fully implementing the power of challenging conventional beliefs and behaviors with an extraordinary community of support cheering you on as you clarify and pursue your deepest dreams, meet your goals, and successfully create the life you think you cannot have. 

In The Brule Breakers Club, we customize your solutions based on your personal psychology and based on the specific brules that have made a home in the territory of YOUR mind, body, and spirit. It’s a unique process that meets you exactly where you are and supports you through creating the changes you want, at whatever pace suits you best.

The Brule Breakers Club works for you because it’s custom-designed for you.

To help ensure that it works for you, we approach this in a few unique ways: 

     (1) We deconstruct your limiting beliefs to give you a fresh perspective 

When you enter The Brule Breakers Club, you are entering a Deconstruction Zone, and when it comes to preserving and maintaining your limiting beliefs, this zone is dangerous Tara’tory. (See what I did there?) 😜

To the brules you bring with you, they are on notice!  

In The Brule Breakers Club, we are going to transform your life, and we do it by deconstructing the brules of life – of YOUR life – by changing the way you think and see and experience what’s around you until the change you’ve been seeking becomes yours, easily. 

When what’s been happening isn’t working, pattern interruption strategies are a MUST.

My mission is to demystify applied psychology, to revolutionize and optimize the human experience and to empower you.

The Deconstruction Method™ is my 3-part method for shining a light on and challenging conventional default modes, and then implementing change so that you have breakthroughs in your thinking and gain the tools and support needed to build new thought patterns (a.k.a. beliefs) and behavior patterns (a.k.a. habits). 

(Want more detail about The Deconstruction Method? You’ll find it in the FAQ section at the bottom of this page.)

     (2) Core values mean you’re held within a safe and empowering community 

When you enter Brule Breaker Tara’tory you are entering a culture built on core values. 

These core values include autonomy, celebration, and steadfast support.

Self-abandonment is a big no-no in the Tara’tory of The Brule Breakers Club. Both inside The Brule Breakers Club and in the world-at-large, we will never ask you to compromise in any way that requires you to abandon yourself. 

In the Tara’tory, we celebrate a glimmer of new awareness like it’s a winning lottery ticket because we whole-heartedly believe that breakthroughs in awareness rival the value of any lottery ticket. Every new awareness invites a conscious pattern interruption, and, when paired with a sincere desire to thrive, this inevitably means that good things are ahead! Cue the confetti, because this is the stuff of dreams and what unlocks the door to a new kind of freedom.

Now, of course, the results of such breakthroughs aren’t instant. 

In the Tara’tory, we don’t just leave you with your breakthrough. We are there for the journey ahead too because we understand that THRIVING requires and deserves devotion, patience, love, curiosity, and a willingness to do things differently – and this takes time. We don’t pretend that it doesn’t, or dance around the fact that implementing change requires consistent commitment and that it sometimes gets messy. We’ve got your back. 

We are there for our members, every step of the way – including the detours. If you get stuck in a pothole, we send a tow truck. In other words, we value and respect your autonomy AND we deconstruct “the brule of independence.” Rather than perpetuate pride-filled bootstrapping struggle sentiments, or normalizing self-reliance to the point of isolation, in the Brule Breakers Club, we honor and actively participate in the truth of our interdependence. In the Tara’tory, it is considered very beautiful to show up brave and ask for help.

Know too, that when you enter The Brule Breakers Club you are entering a pro-active “should-free” zone because we believe that in order to find out who you ARE, you must be willing to surrender the idea of who you “should” be. 

Here, we believe that witnessing shifts, breakthroughs, and outcomes for others invites and inspires your own. We believe that a community of diverse perspectives, group support, and accountability, amplifies learning. That growing together creates shifts in individuals and shifts in the collective. That being seen, held in community, knowing you are not alone in your challenges, making new friends, learning from one another’s experiences is invaluable when all involved are invested and share in common intentions and objectives. 

This space is where you get what you need. With this kind of support, of COURSE it works for you.

     (3) You don’t just achieve one milestone. You go as far into your thriving success as you want to. 

The skills and knowledge you will gain in The Brule Breakers Club, you will have forever.

I am fierce about my clients’ success and I love finding new ways to do things better. And I’m told that this is rather contagious. 😁 

My clients quickly start seeing new opportunities where they thought there weren’t any.

They start having courageous breakthroughs in behavior patterns. Narrow limited views suddenly open up to become broad, vast and expansive. Possibilities they never considered before, or that seemed impossible, rapidly start coming into focus.

In The Brule Breakers Club, I will help you have that “oh, THERE I am” feeling. You will be supported and guided to get into right-relationship with yourself, unraveling subtle and unhelpful conditioning. 

THIS is why my Brule Breakers don’t just get results, they get them and they keep them. 

We help you nurture who you ARE and act on behalf of your dreams, creating and living a life that is as dynamic as you are, on your path to self-actualization. 

Brule Breakers don’t just break through the default patterns, they experience the empowerment, peace, and enhanced well-being that awaits them on the other side.

I love leading The Brule Breakers Club because together we are not just going after our dreams, we are creating the world we want to live in. We are BECOMING.

I know you’ve done other programs before. And I know you’re wondering if this one will FINALLY work for you. I know you want your dreams and you want them FAST. 

And I know this is the place where all that is possible for you. 

I created it ESPECIALLY for you.

Join us today!

Big love, 

P.S. – Not sure? Have questions? Think it might be for you, but want to be sure? Reach out to me for a Personalized Brule Breaker Chat, a fun powerful 1:1 connection opportunity if you are curious to learn how brule breaking can help you.  

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

You know that feeling when you WISH things were different – in your life, in your career, in your business, your relationships, your finances, your health, your day-to-day life – but you just can’t see or understand how to actually make those desired changes stick? 

Well, if you know that feeling, if you know what I’m talking about, then I know how you feel.

There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated. I was drowning in student loan debt and living in a basement apartment with my cat. Feeling utterly trapped, I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.

While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL. 

It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It’s considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. And it’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day. 

And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.

Sometimes, being “normal” and doing all the “right” things can mean that you are silently (or maybe not so silently) suffering … all while people around you say, “this is just the way it is.” 

By default, in this “it’s just the way it is”-paradigm, what’s abnormal is joy. (So much so that it’s treated with suspicion!) Deep satisfaction, too, is abnormal, an anomaly. In this paradigm, prioritizing self-actualization is met with confusion. 

And pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules.”

I discovered how bullshit rules (a.k.a. “BRULES”) were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals. 

“Working in a strong career track is responsible and I should stay no matter how much I hate it.”

“Given the amount of student loan debt, I better embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”

“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”

I discovered how these “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. And I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us. 

I was doing the “responsible thing.”

But feeling trapped and miserable. 

And keeping myself away from my dreams. 

So, I set out to learn how to break them.

And it changed everything.

From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic. And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too.

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That ALL that you want is possible. 

Your dream life, dream career, dream finances, dream relationships and living situations. Your dream travels…

Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the brules that tell you you can’t. 

This is why I’m reintroducing The Brule Breakers Club. In the Brule Breakers Club we help make it easier and safer for you to feel empowered to make the changes you want. All based on all the intrinsic reasons and motivations that express and align with the biggest most self-actualized version of YOU.

It’s a supportive, immersive, welcoming community of dreamers and doers.

It is where, together, we demystify the applied psychology of change so that you can create from a new level of consciousness and empowerment.

The Brule Breakers Club is where we do the work of deconstructing brules, identifying default patterns, and challenging psychological and behavioral blind spots so that you can live your life without false limitations.

It’s where complex behavioral and psychological concepts get turned into super accessible, user-friendly, easy-to-apply strategies that help you experience more joy and wellbeing in your life.

It is where – through monthly modules, weekly discussions, coaching, community, classes and more – you learn to spot the brules that KEEP you from being, doing, and having ALL that you truly desire.

The Brule Breakers Club is a place to practice creating conscious pattern interruptions that’ll open you up to expansive new realms of possibility so that you are in action on designing and creating life on your own terms.

It’s where we break unhelpful habits, rethink false logic, untwine conflated ideas, and celebrate breakthroughs. Said another way, we shine a light on things that seem true or seem like part of your personality or “just the way it is,” but that are actually optional, malleable, negotiable, and sometimes blatantly false.

So… if you long for a space to challenge and reinvent parts of yourself, to see your blind spots, deconstruct your limits, and create a vision for your life that is all your own…

If you want to break brules, not for the sake of rebellion, but in the spirit of self-expression and self-actualization…

If you want to step into being the next-level you, following your dreams and enjoying the process of growth and expansion…

And if you understand that change takes time, commitment, devotion, patience, love, curiosity, a willingness to do things differently, and that there’s no magic pill…

… consider this your personal invitation. ❤

Your invitation to break the brules that have kept your dreams at arm’s length, until now.

Your invitation to make your relationship with yourself your number one priority.

It’s your invitation to join the most supportive space online, to have a community of friends and an expert coach cheering you on as you empower and elevate yourself and your life.

It is absolutely amazing what happens and how your dream life takes shape when you make this kind of commitment and show up for it consistently over time. By staying engaged and diligently holding up your end of the bargain – identifying, challenging, and removing any and all brules from your sphere – shifts happen, the kind that stop holding you back and stop keeping you from your dreams.

I want you to not only have that “oh, there I am!” feeling, I want you to confidently CREATE from it.

Come. Be a brule breaker with me, and with so many others. 

I want you to have your dreams, on your terms, and feel amazing in the process. 

>> Click here to join!

Big love, 

Applied Psychology Coach & Author of The Brules of Life

When boundaries aren’t enough

When boundaries aren’t enough

Last week, I wrote about a tough pill to swallow: that to whatever degree self-actualization is lacking in your life, is the same degree that self-abandonment is happening in your life. [If you missed it, click here.]

As I re-read what I wrote, I dropped into a deeply reflective state.

Sitting in one place, I stared into the distance for I-don’t-know-how-long while silently reflecting on thoughts, questions, and emotions about some of the circumstances that have happened in my life that have shown me where self-actualization is lacking and – with that – where self-abandonment is/was happening.

I always gain immense clarity from this confronting-but-productive self-inventory … inevitably noticing ways that I am acting in cahoots with patterns of self-abandonment.

Areas of dissatisfaction come to light.

I notice areas where some of my needs have gone unmet.

I notice where, not only aren’t I getting what I want, but where who I know myself to be is feeling stifled or being dishonored in some way.

From such awareness comes the recognition that IF I DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING to make improvements to these areas … I am essentially denying myself these things. 

(ouch.)

Settling for less than you desire is a form of self-denial.

 

Such evidence-based self-inventory isn’t for the faint of heart because there’s no room for pretending in the relationship between you-and-you.

It boils down to this:

Either you decide to consent to self-denial, self-abandonment, and self-neglect that impedes your own self-actualization, OR … you do something about it.

We impact our circumstances with our choices. There’s a point at which we can no longer hold others responsible for our own experience or blame circumstances for what we aren’t experiencing.      

Doing something about it can take many forms. Giving thoughtful attention to the circumstances, doing what you know how to do to remedy the situation is generally best, followed by patience and time to see the impact of your actions, hopefully for the better.

BUT  – what happens when actions fail?

It’s not always true that when we ask for what we need, or set a boundary in a relationship, or express ourselves fully, or take time to heal and be self-responsible … that this is the ultimate answer or remedy.

In the midst of even the most complex circumstances or the most challenging relationships, we each get to choose how – and for how long – we invest our energy into finding the right solution.

But, when all of your best efforts don’t work and something carries on for too long or in a way that still isn’t satisfying or supportive, what then do you DO?!? 

When noticing such a pattern in your life and in yourself – assuming you are committed to making the necessary changes to remedy it – you can interrupt the pattern in one of two ways:

(1) By doing new things, initiating NEW action

or,

(2) By deciding what you will STOP doing

NOT DOING can be a powerful pattern interruption.

Not everything requires more effort.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is STOP participating in a conversation, a situation, a relationship, or a space – creating a disruption in the already established dynamic.

And unlike the time and energy that efforts behind new habits or new actions need to “kick in”… while making the initial choice can be laborious, once made, NOT doing can often bring instant relief.

Do not underestimate the power of reclaiming your energy, calling yourself back to yourself, by doing less of what isn’t aligned.

I need these reminders from time to time, and perhaps you do too:

⭐ Abandoning yourself in order to tolerate circumstances that aren’t a match for you is an expense of precious life force. If maintaining the status quo requires that you abandon yourself to perpetuate it, and you STOP doing this, your circumstances will inevitably change.

⭐ Abandoning yourself in order to maintain connection with others isn’t healthy. If what is holding a relationship together is you abandoning yourself, and you STOP doing this, that relationship will either change or fall away.

⭐ Last but not least, abandoning yourself in order to do things you find utterly draining and misaligned is an affront to your soul. If continuing to do these things requires you to keep selling a piece of your soul, and you STOP doing these things, your stand for who you know yourself to be will give your highest sense of Self the opportunity to surface and take the lead.

Taking an honest look at areas where change is calling and where you’re being asked to step up, is both empowering and daunting.

Making intentional changes in the direction of self-actualization is what I’m here for and what I’m committed to.

You?

 

I interrupt this broadcast

I interrupt this broadcast

I interrupt this broadcast …

Many of the things we do are automatic. They’re instilled and engrained in us by what we’ve been taught and socially conditioned to do – or not do.

So much so, that autopilot kicks in. RARELY do we (adults) stop to question or revisit or reassess if such habits and patterns make sense/feel good/are aligned, now.

What you do matters.

Whether you do it consciously or unconsciously.

Whether what you do is supportive or detrimental.

What you do impacts everything you think, feel, believe, and create.

One way or another, for better or worse, these patterns sustain your experience. They feed your beliefs, and they perpetuate your behaviors. It’s the quintessential old-dog-new-tricks-dynamic.

Not ONLY does what you do matter, but the environments you do them in, matter.

Where you do what you do ALSO helps to either perpetuate or disrupt your habits – whether good or bad, supportive or detrimental.

Here’s the really good news:

Creating a change in your routine can have unexpectedly powerful positive impacts!

But, like that old dog, you aren’t likely to discover them unless you experiment and find out.

You have the power to bring the psychology of change into your life in SUPER simple ways. Wonderfully empowering, life-enhancing ways … all while making discoveries about how to further elevate your happiness and wellbeing!

Sounds good, right?

And it works. It works because challenging conventional default modes creates a break in pattern, and this disruption of the old way, opens up opportunities for the new to come in.

Here are two simple ways to create a positive pattern interruption in your life:

(1) Do something different, or do something you already do but in a NEW way. Neither of these require you to go anywhere. As you move through your day, simply experiment with doing something even slightly different than usual. Shaking up your personal status quo could be as simple as wearing something you never wear, or cooking something you’ve never cooked before, or perhaps you don’t even change WHAT you do, but you switch up the order you do it in. Simple enough, right? Play with it, and see what you discover.

(2) Change your environment. If you know me at all, you know that I love to travel. I love how new environments inspire me in different ways. I love variety – be it a new state, country, landscape, or even just a new corner of a favorite cafe. On September 23, I will be in New Hampshire for a special event and you’re invited to JOIN me!

I am hosting this first-of-its-kind gathering that is really all about pattern interruption (a.k.a. brule breaking). Brule breaking provides a fresh approach and framework to deconstruct and challenge limiting perspectives, shift your unhelpful habits, and discover expansive new levels of awareness so that you can establish new more empowering, supportive, dream-accelerating patterns (a.k.a. the good stuff).

And THIS has the effect of naturally activating momentum, putting that skip in your step as you create more of what you desire in life.

How will YOU interrupt your regularly scheduled program?

What pattern interruption will you choose?

Comment below and tell me about it.

Ok, now you can return to your regularly scheduled program… if you wish. 😉

Big love,

PS – This special event is just one hour from Boston, two hours from Providence, and just 30 minutes from Portsmouth’s airport. An easy drive or fly to beautiful New Hampshire — September 23 — in my opinion, the best time of year to be there.