No more pretending

No more pretending

Creating your life is an evolution, an ongoing expression of your freedoms and your being-ness.

Your life is the embodiment of your self-actualization.

Recognizing this, is the opposite of bypassing, and the opposite of avoiding.

The act of intentionally creating your life to be the reflection and expression of your freedoms, your potentials, your dreams, and the truth of who you are, is extraordinarily BRAVE.

Your life right now is the embodiment of your self-actualization (or lack thereof).

Your life right now is the barometer for your current level of self-actualization AND your current level of self-abandonment.

This is true for you. This is true for me.

When I was in a job that I knew was all wrong for me…
And when I felt trapped in a marriage that was full of dishonesty…
When home was a dark, musty, basement apartment…
And when my soul longed to travel, but I stayed put…

… all of this was an affront to my soul.
… and ALL of this was glaring evidence of my own self-abandonment.

Whatever degree self-actualization is lacking in your life is the same degree that self-abandonment is happening in your life. 

A tough pill to swallow, but a truly powerful one too.

This is not about blame or shame. But it’s also not about pretending.

This kind of evidence-based self-inventory isn’t for the faint of heart.

Every example of self-abandonment is an opportunity to see what’s there. 

To see, observe, learn from, and find fuel for change in the tangible evidence of your life’s creation, so far.

Seeing the YOU that is smack in the middle of it all is POWERFUL – not because you are the blame center, but because you are the POWER center.

YOU are the common denominator. And you can therefore choose to move away from self-abandonment and towards self-actualization.

You can choose to move away from what doesn’t light you up, and toward what does.
And you can choose to move away from fears about not enough, and toward enough-ness.
You can choose to move away from “I can’t” and toward “watch me figure it out.”

Doing this requires a whole lot of courage, self-inquiry, and self-integrity – asking, and seeing: What is aligned for me? What isn’t aligned for me? And, what do I really really want? If I had one year to live, what would I do with it? And if I had one year to live, what would I stop doing immediately?

Let NOW be time to get to the heart of the matter.

Objectively identifying what’s what, being fiercely honest with yourself, and then consciously deciding to grow into being the person who would (re)align what’s not, is the journey of self-actualization.

Creating a life that reflects the truth of who you are takes heart, and hutzpah. Not the “who” the world has told you to be, but who you ARE and the truth of your desires.

The work of self-actualization is not a strategy of separation.

It is not a way to distance yourself from the life you have.

And it is not about positioning yourself as the victim of your circumstances.

It is not about shame or blame or pretending. (I said that already, but it’s worth repeating.)

And, truth be told, it’s a mission that is never done. Until you leave this Earth, it’s an ongoing creation, moment by moment.

When on a mission of self-actualization, as long as you’re alive, there will always be “lag time” between who you ARE and the life you’re creating to be a reflection of that being-ness, that person.

It is therefore not a fixed point, and it is not a destination. It’s an expression. An evolutionary unfolding. It’s a journey of self-responsibility, of empowerment, of healing, and of doing what’s needed to shift any aspect of your life that isn’t for you.

Ultimately, this requires that you get intimate with yourself, and intimate with you life – both as it IS and as you wish it to be.

Step one is seeing what’s there. Stepping back to see the mirror that IS your life. Facing your life, perhaps as you never have before. And then, participating fully in its evolution and ongoing creation so that it can align that much more fully with the dreams in your heart and truth of YOU – who you are here to be.

Big love,

P.S. Self-inquiry eats regret for breakfast. Going after your dream life, finally living it, moving from your life now to the life you want to have – all of this can feel utterly terrifying! How do you know what you want? How do you get what you want? And how do you face all the uncertainty and that huge climb from where you are now to the life of your dreams? 👇

There’s one skill that unlocks all the rest.  And my totally free and totally updated Only Skill You Ever Need guide and bonus chapter goes through exactly that.

Ready for that dream life of yours? Grab your free copy here.

I am NOT an Independent Woman – and neither are you.

In today’s “Tips from Tara” episode, I share something that took me years to come to terms with:

I am NOT an Independent Woman. And, you know what? Neither are you.

Gender really isn’t important here so let me re-state:

I am NOT an Independent Person — and, dare I say, neither are YOU.

If you’re thinking, “Hey, you don’t know me! How can you say that, Tara? ‘Independent’ is my middle name!”

Trust me, I get it.  >>>> Historically, I’ve prided myself on being independent.  I’m a solopreneur. I’ve traveled internationally, alone. I’ve owned property, by myself. I’ve been a landlord – actually I prefer “landlordess”. 🙂 Either way, I did it by myself.

I could go on and on with examples of how I rationalized my sense of pride and striving for independence.

But the Truth is I’m NOT independent. I’m profoundly INTER-dependent — and so are you.

To give you an example of what I mean here… a client of mine, an accomplished athlete, said something along the lines of, “I’m so tired of doing everything by myself.”  And who can’t relate to that feeling?

I asked her to give me and example of something she does by herself and she said, “Marathons.”

I challenged her.

“Really? Who made your sneakers?  Are there water stations along your route? Who set those up? Are there people cheering you on as you go? Did you grow all the food that’s fueling your body?”

(You get the idea.)

The truth is we are profoundly interconnected and profoundly interdependent and profoundly supported.

And while feeling capable as an individual is valid and important, if being “independent” is fundamentally built-in to your sense of identity, this may be a belief or a construct that limits you, that keeps you removed from collaboration, anxious or even resentful about needing to do everything by yourself, AND – more than likely pretty gosh-darned tired!

Here’s an alternative to all that …

It is time to breath into the high truth of your inter-dependence. The truth of YOU as an integral part of the whole.

Embracing and appreciating this can create more ease, experience more gratitude and grace, and savor the experience of being supported.

Together we really are so much more.

Ready to connect and experience an entirely new level of appreciation, grace, ease and the power of support?

As my GIFT to you, let’s connect for a complimentary 1:1 session and explore the possibilities together: Session With Tara.

I whole-heartedly invite you to open up to receive this fully, to say yes to support.  In our session I will be my A-game and my experience successfully serving clients since 2004.  See client success stories here.

Again the link to claim your session and get on my calendar is: www.sessionwithTara.com

Ready to live boundlessly and create a life (and business) you don’t need a vacation from? No more waiting for later. Together, we’re going to team up on behalf of your best self, and your best life, and make today your someday.

Go now to: www.sessionwithTara.com

See you there!

 

“Someday” Is A Serial Killer

Breaking News: We have a serial killer in our midst.

In record numbers, people are finding themselves stuck in sneaky paralyzing behavior patterns, living uninspired lives that could otherwise be extraordinary, caught up in the numbing nonsense of a false logic loop, behavioral BS, or an endless epidemic of Someday Syndrome.

Far too many dreams go to the grave.

There’s a serial killer in our midst that never makes the news.

And this fires me up.

Because here’s the thing:

When you stop waiting on your dreams,
 
and you stop squashing your inspired ideas,
 
and you stop taming your deepest desires,
 
and you stop telling yourself “later” and “maybe someday”
 
and you re-write the rules,
 
and you shift your focus,
 
and you draw some lines in the self-sabotaging sand,

and you get the right support,

and you get into aligned action with what REALLY makes all the difference ….

 

Then,
 
you realize a completely new level of what you’re capable of,
 
and you experience new heights of joy and freedom,
 
and heart-space,
 
and head-space …
 
And you start to get fired up too.
 
Because you see it everywhere too.
 
You see how norms are nonsense.
 
You witness ‘someday’ kill yet another dream, in broad daylight.
 

Defy the odds and refuse to be its next victim.

Chant, “hell-to-the-no!”

Decide that not on YOUR watch will it have its way with you.

No friggin way.

Well, not on my watch either.

Not a chance.

This mission possesses me like no other.

The right support makes all the difference. That’s why I provide a FREE 1:1 session as my personal gift to you.

It’s why I run special programs like Today Is Your Someday a few times a year.

It’s why I’ve served hundreds, ages 20 to 76, spanning four continents in my renowned Dream Acceleration Program.

It’s why I created my ‘Tips from Tara’ video series.

The FREE 1:1 Session with me is an anytime offer. My personal gift to you.

Together, you and I can stop “Someday” in its tyrannical tracks.

Claim YOUR complimentary session, now, and make today YOUR someday!
 
>>>>> www.sessionwithTara.com <<<<<<<<<<
 
Today IS Your Someday.
 
Because you are deciding that it is.
 
Follow the link to get on my calendar, and you’re on your way! 🙂

My article in Aspire Magazine (April/May 2018 Issue)

I’m excited to share that my article “My Journey to Nomadic Living” is included in the just released April/May 2018 issue of Linda Joy’s Aspire Magazine. I hope it speaks to you! Please read, comment, share with others, and scroll down for the link to access the full Aspire Magazine issue.

Click here for a peek into the April/May issue of Aspire Magazine, and while you’re there, claim your FREE subscription to Aspire for immediate access to the full issue + over 3 years of archived issues + over 40 transformational welcome gifts.     

In this issue, you’ll find topics including shifting your money mindset, relationship transformation strategies, mindfulness, the Enneagram, and more. When you peek inside you’ll see why I’m excited to be a part of this high-vibe issue alongside so many inspiring contributors. Enjoy!