In today’s “Tips from Tara” episode, I share something that took me years to come to terms with:
I am NOT an Independent Woman. And, you know what? Neither are you.
Gender really isn’t important here so let me re-state:
I am NOT an Independent Person — and, dare I say, neither are YOU.
If you’re thinking, “Hey, you don’t know me! How can you say that, Tara? ‘Independent’ is my middle name!”
Trust me, I get it. >>>> Historically, I’ve prided myself on being independent. I’m a solopreneur. I’ve traveled internationally, alone. I’ve owned property, by myself. I’ve been a landlord – actually I prefer “landlordess”. 🙂 Either way, I did it by myself.
I could go on and on with examples of how I rationalized my sense of pride and striving for independence.
But the Truth is I’m NOT independent. I’m profoundly INTER-dependent — and so are you.
To give you an example of what I mean here… a client of mine, an accomplished athlete, said something along the lines of, “I’m so tired of doing everything by myself.” And who can’t relate to that feeling?
I asked her to give me and example of something she does by herself and she said, “Marathons.”
I challenged her.
“Really? Who made your sneakers? Are there water stations along your route? Who set those up? Are there people cheering you on as you go? Did you grow all the food that’s fueling your body?”
(You get the idea.)
The truth is we are profoundly interconnected and profoundly interdependent and profoundly supported.
And while feeling capable as an individual is valid and important, if being “independent” is fundamentally built-in to your sense of identity, this may be a belief or a construct that limits you, that keeps you removed from collaboration, anxious or even resentful about needing to do everything by yourself, AND – more than likely pretty gosh-darned tired!
Here’s an alternative to all that …
It is time to breath into the high truth of your inter-dependence. The truth of YOU as an integral part of the whole.
Embracing and appreciating this can create more ease, experience more gratitude and grace, and savor the experience of being supported.
Together we really are so much more.
Ready to connect and experience an entirely new level of appreciation, grace, ease and the power of support?
As my GIFT to you, let’s connect for a complimentary 1:1 session and explore the possibilities together: Session With Tara.
I whole-heartedly invite you to open up to receive this fully, to say yes to support. In our session I will be my A-game and my experience successfully serving clients since 2004. See client success stories here.
Ready to live boundlessly and create a life (and business) you don’t need a vacation from? No more waiting for later. Together, we’re going to team up on behalf of your best self, and your best life, and make today your someday.
Breaking News: We have a serial killer in our midst.
In record numbers, people are finding themselves stuck in sneaky paralyzing behavior patterns, living uninspired lives that could otherwise be extraordinary, caught up in the numbing nonsense of a false logic loop, behavioral BS, or an endless epidemic of Someday Syndrome.
Far too many dreams go to the grave.
There’s a serial killer in our midst that never makes the news.
And this fires me up.
Because here’s the thing:
When you stop waiting on your dreams,
and you stop squashing your inspired ideas,
and you stop taming your deepest desires,
and you stop telling yourself “later” and “maybe someday”
and you re-write the rules,
and you shift your focus,
and you draw some lines in the self-sabotaging sand,
and you get the right support,
and you get into aligned action with what REALLY makes all the difference ….
Then,
you realize a completely new level of what you’re capable of,
and you experience new heights of joy and freedom,
and heart-space,
and head-space …
And you start to get fired up too.
Because you see it everywhere too.
You see how norms are nonsense.
You witness ‘someday’ kill yet another dream, in broad daylight.
Defy the odds and refuse to be its next victim.
Chant, “hell-to-the-no!”
Decide that not on YOUR watch will it have its way with you.
“In that moment, I felt I had no history, no reputation, no expectation, and no obligation to be who I had been yesterday.”
How far would YOU travel to meet yourself?
For me, “far enough” was Australia.
The year was 1996. I was 20 years old and on a 16 hour flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne, Australia, when, in an instant, I was moved to tears by a realization, sparking a profound sense of personal freedom: NO ONE, in the entire country that I was on my way to, where I would spend the next 6 months, had any preconceived notion of who I was.
Forty thousand feet in the air, this was a time-stopping awareness for me.
And seeing as the woman seated next to me on the plane ALSO had no preconceived notion of who I was, I allowed myself to simply feel the profundity of this unexpected realization.
I was caught off guard as tears of relief streamed down my face and a warm opening was happening in my chest. Sitting on that airplane, I was struck by a sudden and life-altering realization of a new kind of freedom.
I grew up in a really small New England town where everyone knew everyone. Every trip I went on up to that point, was with people I knew. Some high school classmates went to the same college I did. Not bad things – but up until this singular moment on the plane, I had never known the experience of not being known.
In that moment, I felt unleashed … from history, from expectations, from obligations. Nothing required that I be who I had been yesterday.
It was a freedom I had never known before.
There I was, traveling solo, luggage in tow, enroute to a new land, for a 6 month journey.
I had never before known the experience of others not having any preconceived expectations about who I am. I suddenly had – and was – a blank slate. Free of expectations or preconceptions, I could be just me – whoever that was.
I traveled far enough to meet myself. I was FREE.
I wiped my tears and smiled at the lady in the seat next to me.
Little did I know, she would end up hosting me, opening her home along with her family of five, for a full week during a visit I’d make to Brisbane that December. She even invited me to stay for Christmas, insisting that I should be with a family. I was touched, but I declined, having made plans to meet my “framily” of other international students who’d agreed to meet on Bondi Beach in Sydney for Christmas (think: Christmas in a bathing suit, with a santa hat). 🙂
All this to say ….
If you want to get closer to the truth of yourself: travel.
And travel plus coaching is a truly life-altering combination!
It really can’t be understated: the combo of the two is the ULTIMATE opportunity to grow and to meet yourself: as an individual, as a citizen of the world, as a nomadic soul.
The possibilities are boundless.
So, here’s a question to seriously consider: Who do you think YOU would be, if no one knew who you were?
I wiped my tears and smiled at the lady in the seat next to me.
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