You must ‘self actualize.’

What do I mean by self-actualization?

Self-actualization is not an arrival. It’s not a fixed point. It is not a place at all. It’s an expression. It’s an evolutionary unfolding. A process of not only becoming, but creating your life to reflect that becoming.

The fullness and manifestation of self-actualization can be measured by how much of your life mirrors the magnificent, embodied, unapologetic, expression of YOU that you have become.

Your life is either full of evidence of a high degree of self-actualization, or it is full of evidence of a high degree of self-abandonment. This is a spectrum that leaves little room for gray because your emotional guidance will tell you clearly which one it is.

While not a fixed arrival point, self-actualization will bring countless savory moments when you kick back, drink in your life, and say to yourself, “f*ck yes.”

“This is MY life and I adore living it. I am so incredibly proud of everything I’ve created and how I’ve grown and what I’ve learned in order to get HERE. And now, here I am. I am here. Here is good, and luscious and I love it. I am SAVORING this delicious waking moment … because it is beautiful. Not perfect, mind you, but utterly aligned nonetheless. Beautiful in its unique-to-me expression, and in this, I also acknowledge my own beauty and imperfect perfection. Gratitude for this one incredible life fills my soul, created as only I could, as the one and only me. This life is so on point and I am lit from within about it, while also excited and inspired about all that’s in process and all that I’m creating next because I know that, it too, will only heighten this expression, this beingness, catching up with the latest parts of me that are surfacing and igniting the next levels of my expression. And should I die today, I will do so knowing I died happy, delighted, and inspired.”

When you look at your life and see the many many ways it reflects the beauty and truth of who you are … that’s your evidence of self-actualization .

Nothing is more gratifying.

It’s the kind of joy that fills you up, that lights you from within.

In contrast to this, when you look at your life and think “no, this isn’t right’ ‘I feel trapped’ ‘this isn’t the real me’ ‘I don’t want to do it this way’ ‘how did I get here and how do I get out’ ‘this doesn’t align’ ‘this isn’t who I am’ ‘this isn’t it for me’ ‘‘where the heck is the I in this life I have?’ ‘how do I get where I’m meant to be’ ‘I wish someone would save me’ ‘I’m so tired’ ‘my soul aches’ ‘when does my life rise up to greet me and welcome me home, to myself?’… then (obviously) this is not ideal. It absolutely sucks. I know because I’ve been there. To stay, to keep going, to keep doing the same things in the same ways for another day, perhaps with the same people, is one more day of self-abandonment.

^ This is the polar opposite of self-actualization.

Spoiler alert! Your life will always be lagging a bit behind your becoming. Since as long as you’re alive you’re creating, there’s always more to recalibrate and adjust to best reflect what you’ve discovered or revealed or uncovered about your beingness. There’s simply no way around this.

BUT – when you’re in a space of confident self-actualization even the lag time feels welcomed, glorious even, because the process of creation is an art form that you enjoy.

You know that arrival is a myth, and that evolution is ongoing.

You embrace and delight in the unfolding and trust the outcomes completely.

You are not suffering or surviving in the interim.

You are engaged and inspired.

You are alive in the ALL of it.

You are thriving.

There is always more to discover, create, and be. As you seek on a quest for a meaningful, joyful, impactful, satisfying, successful life (one that you aren’t aching to escape to Bora Bora about) … it’s an expanding spiral upward, a helix of becoming who you are meant to be, self-actualizing and living a life that is so aligned and joyful it IS the expression of the WHO that you’ve become. And as you become that WHO even more, new levels of desire are revealed and deepened, and expansion and new possibilities become possible for you.

PS – If you are ready to become the person who LIVES your dreams, apply now for my FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment, a 1:1 conversation where you will gain clarity on your dreams and how they reflect and empower the person you are becoming, insight into what’s been holding you back, and a renewed sense of hope about how to courageously break free of obstacles to achieve what you want with a customized strategic plan for your desired future.

PPS – Not quite ready to talk about actually living those dreams? Not sure what your dream life even would LOOK like? I have something for that too.