The paradox of dipping your toe in

The paradox of dipping your toe in

by | Jun 19, 2023 | Coaching, Create Your Life!, Dream Acceleration, Dream Accelerator, Tara Sage Coaching

Pursuing a dream often begins with dipping your toe in, learning what’s involved.

Makes good sense, yeh?

For this reason, when clients first come to me, many choose to dip their toe in and start with my No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training, a low pressure, low investment, 6-week e-coaching program where you get to go at your own pace and digest the content independently. In addition to a bonus 1:1 Strategy Session with me at the end, accountability is built in throughout the 6 weeks with regular emails that have specific questions and assignments, providing you with weekly invitations to share what you’re learning and discovering.

A great starting place!

In a similar way, my recent trip to Italy to attend a training about how to get a traditional publishing deal, was essentially me dipping MY toe into the vast ‘get a book deal’ waters.

A sensible place to start, for sure.

But just the beginning, just as joining my No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training is just a START in what is a bigger journey. Now that I’ve dipped my toe in, you better believe I won’t just try to do it alone.

The toe-dipping level isn’t really even comparable to what I provide in my higher-commitment, real-time, private coaching support programs. Just as, me hiring someone to coach me through the actual writing and creation of my book proposal, plus supporting me through each step of pitching my book to agents, would be.

While, on one hand, No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training is a really terrific place to dip your toe in (the water’s warm!) just like the publishing training was for me … it’s of course up to YOU (and me) to take ACTION on the teachings, prompts, and nudges we receive.

As a member of MY dip-your-toe-in training, it is also up to YOU to reach out and ask me for help if you get confused or overwhelmed. Because beyond sending you weekly emails that include requests that you reply… if you DON’T reply, if you don’t answer my questions, if you don’t watch the training videos, or complete the worksheets … that’s your choice. 

I don’t chase you down or babysit. 

Just as I, of course, have to show up for myself and my dreams, YOU have to show up for yourself and your dreams. 

Hear me on this: When that is difficult for you to do independently, that’s just one more reason NOT to just dip your toe in.

That’s when it’s CRITICAL to step up the commitment, step up the accountability, to ensure that you get the personalized support you need. Even if you’re not sure exactly HOW someone could help, you often find out when you have it. Consistent support raises your game. The very presence of support, tracking and observing your progress, creates a special kind of momentum. It also helps ensure you don’t miss opportunities due to tunnel vision or limits in your own understanding.

In the Tara Sage Coaching world, this means claiming a spot in one of my more comprehensive private coaching programs. For example, unlike my 6-week e-coaching introductory offer, my signature Dream Acceleration Program is where we get to communicate with each other frequently, in real-time, over a six-month period. 

Fact is, taking the journey of changing and improving your life is likely going to require MORE than a self-guided learning experience, no matter how good the content provided in the dip-your-toe-in-training is. 

Private, real-time, ongoing, customized support is ALWAYS what is going to be most powerful.

One perk of being a Dream Acceleration Program member is that you can reach out anytime and ask for help. No matter how overwhelmed or confused you get, we work through it together. In addition to our regular private coaching calls, my private clients know that they can always send me a message with any quick questions that come up, anytime, and I’ll reply. If they get stuck or just need a bit of feedback, they don’t wait or stew in overwhelm or confusion. They reach out, we get their questions answered, and they get quickly back on track. 

While ultimately YOU have to do the work for your dreams, just like I have to do the work for my dreams, having help helps – a lot! 

Here’s the paradox of dipping your toe in:

While, on one hand, what’s appealing about the No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training is that it’s low pressure and you get to digest the content independently, at your own pace… on the other hand, BECAUSE it’s so independent and self-guided…this very same program could have you stalling out, letting overwhelm or confusion STOP you from showing up for yourself, STOP you from doing the work, and STOP you from reaching out for support.

So, let’s make this promise together. 

Say it with me:

“If I stall out, if overwhelm and confusion starts to fester, if I stop showing up for myself and my dream, if I don’t do the work… I will reach out for support, even if I’m not sure how support could help.”

Deal?

HOW you have to show up for yourself [part 2]

HOW you have to show up for yourself [part 2]

by | Jun 12, 2023 | Brules of Life, Coaching, Dream Acceleration, Tara Sage Coaching

[Didn’t read Part 1? Click HERE.]

From the moment I learned about the book publishing training happening in Italy and decided to get myself on a flight to Europe, put my butt in the seat, and show up for my book dreams … the entire experience has been terrifically exciting, while also deeply vulnerable, emotionally overwhelming, and, at times, intellectually confusing.

For perspective: One literary agent, whose book I’m reading, likens getting a traditional publishing deal to being the rare “sperm with merit” that manages to get through – because 99.9% of those who pitch their book proposals, don’t.

If I want this, (and I do), I have an enormous amount of work ahead of me. I also have a gajillion doubts and questions about what to do, how to do it, and, frankly, whether I can.

So…

Am I feeling overwhelmed by the learning curve and the work I have ahead of me?

Am I feeling vulnerable and afraid that it will only ever result in a pile of rejection letters, at best?

And am I wondering and battling thoughts that doubt whether I really have what it takes?

You bet I am!

But – these feelings are NOT a free pass to deflect responsibility for my actions, or inactions.

Feelings of confusion and overwhelm do not dictate or predetermine me to quit.

Such feelings also don’t dictate or predetermine YOU to quit.

This is when it’s time to:

  • Take some deep breaths and do what’s needed to settle your nervous system
  • Go for a walk to shake off the nerves and come back to it
  • Get a good night’s sleep and start fresh in the morning
  • ASK FOR HELP from the people who are there to help

👆 This is what showing up for yourself and your dream looks like.

Expect overwhelm! AND, stay in “the room” to receive support, the very reason you decided to be there in the first place!

Rather than a reason to quit, it is all the more reason to be vulnerable and available for support.

This, my friend, is the game-changer.

And it’s not only what I do for my clients, it’s also what I do as a lifelong learner who believes and trusts that my dreams have merit.

I seek out experts who guide me, so that, despite me being intimidated and overwhelmed, I have support from those who can guide my hand, hold me accountable, challenge me to step up, take action, learn new skills, and set myself up for the results I want.

This way, even on days when doubt and fear want to have their way and try to derail my belief or undermine my momentum and my capabilities, I KEEP GOING.

That is why I do this work and this is what I want for you.

Your dreams become possible and you become so much more powerful with this kind of support on your side.

When you show up for ACCOUNTABILITY and you keep showing up for yourself and your dreams, and you keep stepping up to the challenges that present themselves, calling on support for help as needed … that’s when forward movement becomes INEVITABLE.

My private clients know that, in addition to our regular private coaching calls, they can always send me a message with any quick questions that come up, anytime, and I’ll reply. They reach out, we get their questions answered, and they get quickly back on track. This is just one of the many aspects that Dream Acceleration Program members receive that helps them to realize their dreams and create accelerated results.

If you’re not quite ready for that level, another option is to dip your toe in by starting with my 6-week No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint training.

Lastly, if you’re not sure which option is best for you and you want some help determining that, I’m here for that conversation too. Let’s talk!

Big love,

YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF

YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF

by | Jun 5, 2023 | Brules of Life, Coaching, Dream Acceleration, Tara Sage Coaching

Sorry. I don’t usually ALL CAPS my posts because I know it can feel like someone is yelling at you. Maybe it’s jet lag, but today I’m uncensored and there’s something I want to yell a bit about, so I’ll cut right to it.

When you want to make a change in your life, it is totally ok and a very common experience to get overwhelmed or feel confused. Like, totally-completely-utterly normal and to be expected!

But – these feelings are NOT a free pass to deflect responsibility for your actions, or inactions.

Seriously.

What people tend to do is this: 

Sign up for something, enthusiastic and excited to make a change, to go for that dream, to learn new things, shift some habits, and finally create their desired outcome. (A typical example is joining a gym on January 2nd, and then fizzling out on actually GOING by January 15th.)

When things get challenging – as learning new things and shifting old habits tend to do – overwhelm sets in. This is when the second-guessing starts. They question their decision and convince themselves that now is not the time, that they made a mistake, that they should WAIT…

until work calms down
until the kids are grown 
and the taxes are done 
until the basement is organized 
until the weather changes

Rather than show up NOW for themselves and their dreams… 

They surrender to the circumstances of their life.

They decide to wait for those circumstances to somehow perfectly align FIRST. 

Left unchecked, their confused brain may even convince them that *overwhelm* IS the problem and that this is what will solve it.

But – that. is. not. how. it. works.

And, really, they knew this – which is WHY they signed up for the program and set the goal to transform those circumstances and make those changes in the first place! 

The answer is not: Default to familiar comforts, habits, and the beliefs that got you where you ARE!

Allowing that to happen is kind of like driving in reverse, or going halfway into a tunnel only to turn around and go back out the same way you came in.

Rather than stay in the driver’s seat of their life… 

And stay the course…

Rather than lead with the potential that they knew was possible when they signed up… 

They surrender, while claiming that “overwhelm” is to blame. Or that confusion is the cause. 

When, ironically, all they needed to do instead was REACH OUT for support. The kind of support that helps them get beyond the overwhelm and beyond the confusion and back in aligned action with what they ultimately want to achieve/create/become. 

People who are committed to their own growth don’t allow this kind of default mode to happen.

They know that “I felt overwhelmed” does not equal “I am not responsible for what I didn’t do because of it.”

They learn to EXPECT and plan for overwhelm and confusion. 

Excused be damned. They show up anyway and ask for help.

Especially in those “I’m not sure what to do” moments, they ask for support so that they don’t wind up chasing their tail, derailing their momentum, or putting their dreams back up on that dusty old shelf.

Ghosting the people who are there to support you, is ghosting yourself. 

Giving credence to the false logic that says, “overwhelm made me not do it” or “confusion is to blame for me not following through” is a mistake. It’s self-sabotage and BS at its best.

Ok. I’m going to sign off here and go get some sleep. 

I have more to say about this so I’ll be back next week with ‘HOW you have to show up for yourself (part 2)’. In part two, I’ll share what my experience in Italy and the pursuit of my own dreams has taught me about SHOWING UP, so that YOU can show up for yourself too!