Before sharing my wish for you, I need to also share that I used to think progress had to be hard and involve high-pressure changes, deadlines, and intensity.
Now I strive simply because I love the feeling of betterment.
This, I believe, is how you know you have shifted from Survival Mode to what I lovingly refer to as “Thrival” Mode.
Neither mode is wrong, or bad, or less valid, or less important.
I have certainly created from both modes.
Goals that help you SURVIVE tend to bring a sense of relief and necessity.
Goals that help you THRIVE tend to be enriching, expansive, and leave you wondering what else you can create.
This has been my experience, at least.
Thriving can take many forms. From relationships, to health, to career, to creativity, to finances, to how you spend your time…
I’m curious: What are your thoughts about the New Year? As you reflect on your goals, are they more centered around relief and necessity, or expansive creation and enrichment?
I am an advocate of nontraditional resolutions.
One year – 2012 to be exact – my resolution was to drink more wine. To be clear, more drinking wasn’t the goal so much as it was a symbolic antidote to my having realized that I was taking myself and my life way too seriously.
There were times that year when I would realize, “oops! It’s been weeks since I’ve had any wine!” … and then would promptly remedy that situation. 😊 My “more wine” resolution represented the larger, overarching goal, and the true intention behind my resolution: living less in Survival Mode, and more in Thrival Mode.
It was a resolution to savor the good stuff, and to loosen up for cryin’-out-loud. (It worked.)
As basic as it sounds, recognizing that ‘savoring the good stuff’ is what people who thrive do … I wanted THAT.
For many of us – and for very good reasons – thriving doesn’t come easily.
If life has taught you to be on guard, worried, careful, self-protective, defensive, armored, alert at all times … then it makes total sense that you’d have to learn how to thrive.
And like most learning curves, the process can be awkward. What seems “basic” to others may be a significant pattern interruption for a “thrival” newbie – one that requires real effort, frequent reminders, and significant shifts in thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.
It is a normal part of any learning process for there to be some flailing and fumbling before new approaches and new experiences feel truly good.
If life has taught you that THRIVING involves letting your guard down in a way that feels unsettling, then it is totally understandable to feel like a fish out of water.
Even “savoring the good stuff” can feel strange, illogical, inconvenient – at first.
Surrounding yourself with the right support as you consciously recalibrate towards thriving, helps a lot. Having frequent reminders and personalized support as you make those shifts in beliefs and behaviors – as you establish a new normal – makes an enormous difference in helping to ensure that you don’t revert back to your old familiar ways.
Many, in an effort to avoid the work of making conscious shifts, or having to endure those awkward newbie moments, choose instead to just stay where they are. They default to Survival Mode because it’s what’s familiar, because it’s what’s KNOWN.
My wish for YOU is that 2024 is a Year of Thrival.
Refreshingly unlike anything else that I know of in the coaching/author space, I have created The Brule Breakers Club, a place where you get to PRACTICE fully implementing the learnings and the implementation process required to THRIVE.
You, of course, are welcome. I’ll be sharing more in the weeks to come about how to dig into your personal psychology and how to master the art of thriving…
But for now, I’m curious – do YOU have any unconventional resolutions for yourself this year?
Applied Psychology Coach & Author of The Brules of Life