Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

You know that feeling when you WISH things were different – in your life, in your career, in your business, your relationships, your finances, your health, your day-to-day life – but you just can’t see or understand how to actually make those desired changes stick? 

Well, if you know that feeling, if you know what I’m talking about, then I know how you feel.

There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated. I was drowning in student loan debt and living in a basement apartment with my cat. Feeling utterly trapped, I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.

While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL. 

It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It’s considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. And it’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day. 

And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.

Sometimes, being “normal” and doing all the “right” things can mean that you are silently (or maybe not so silently) suffering … all while people around you say, “this is just the way it is.” 

By default, in this “it’s just the way it is”-paradigm, what’s abnormal is joy. (So much so that it’s treated with suspicion!) Deep satisfaction, too, is abnormal, an anomaly. In this paradigm, prioritizing self-actualization is met with confusion. 

And pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules.”

I discovered how bullshit rules (a.k.a. “BRULES”) were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals. 

“Working in a strong career track is responsible and I should stay no matter how much I hate it.”

“Given the amount of student loan debt, I better embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”

“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”

I discovered how these “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. And I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us. 

I was doing the “responsible thing.”

But feeling trapped and miserable. 

And keeping myself away from my dreams. 

So, I set out to learn how to break them.

And it changed everything.

From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic. And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too.

Reintroducing the Brule Breakers Club 

The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That ALL that you want is possible. 

Your dream life, dream career, dream finances, dream relationships and living situations. Your dream travels…

Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the brules that tell you you can’t. 

This is why I’m reintroducing The Brule Breakers Club. In the Brule Breakers Club we help make it easier and safer for you to feel empowered to make the changes you want. All based on all the intrinsic reasons and motivations that express and align with the biggest most self-actualized version of YOU.

It’s a supportive, immersive, welcoming community of dreamers and doers.

It is where, together, we demystify the applied psychology of change so that you can create from a new level of consciousness and empowerment.

The Brule Breakers Club is where we do the work of deconstructing brules, identifying default patterns, and challenging psychological and behavioral blind spots so that you can live your life without false limitations.

It’s where complex behavioral and psychological concepts get turned into super accessible, user-friendly, easy-to-apply strategies that help you experience more joy and wellbeing in your life.

It is where – through monthly modules, weekly discussions, coaching, community, classes and more – you learn to spot the brules that KEEP you from being, doing, and having ALL that you truly desire.

The Brule Breakers Club is a place to practice creating conscious pattern interruptions that’ll open you up to expansive new realms of possibility so that you are in action on designing and creating life on your own terms.

It’s where we break unhelpful habits, rethink false logic, untwine conflated ideas, and celebrate breakthroughs. Said another way, we shine a light on things that seem true or seem like part of your personality or “just the way it is,” but that are actually optional, malleable, negotiable, and sometimes blatantly false.

So… if you long for a space to challenge and reinvent parts of yourself, to see your blind spots, deconstruct your limits, and create a vision for your life that is all your own…

If you want to break brules, not for the sake of rebellion, but in the spirit of self-expression and self-actualization…

If you want to step into being the next-level you, following your dreams and enjoying the process of growth and expansion…

And if you understand that change takes time, commitment, devotion, patience, love, curiosity, a willingness to do things differently, and that there’s no magic pill…

… consider this your personal invitation. ❤

Your invitation to break the brules that have kept your dreams at arm’s length, until now.

Your invitation to make your relationship with yourself your number one priority.

It’s your invitation to join the most supportive space online, to have a community of friends and an expert coach cheering you on as you empower and elevate yourself and your life.

It is absolutely amazing what happens and how your dream life takes shape when you make this kind of commitment and show up for it consistently over time. By staying engaged and diligently holding up your end of the bargain – identifying, challenging, and removing any and all brules from your sphere – shifts happen, the kind that stop holding you back and stop keeping you from your dreams.

I want you to not only have that “oh, there I am!” feeling, I want you to confidently CREATE from it.

Come. Be a brule breaker with me, and with so many others. 

I want you to have your dreams, on your terms, and feel amazing in the process. 

>> Click here to join!

Big love, 

Applied Psychology Coach & Author of The Brules of Life

My wish for you

My wish for you

Before sharing my wish for you, I need to also share that I used to think progress had to be hard and involve high-pressure changes, deadlines, and intensity.

Now I strive simply because I love the feeling of betterment.

This, I believe, is how you know you have shifted from Survival Mode to what I lovingly refer to as “Thrival” Mode.

Neither mode is wrong, or bad, or less valid, or less important. 

I have certainly created from both modes.

Goals that help you SURVIVE tend to bring a sense of relief and necessity. 

Goals that help you THRIVE tend to be enriching, expansive, and leave you wondering what else you can create.

This has been my experience, at least.

Thriving can take many forms. From relationships, to health, to career, to creativity, to finances, to how you spend your time…

I’m curious: What are your thoughts about the New Year? As you reflect on your goals, are they more centered around relief and necessity, or expansive creation and enrichment?

I am an advocate of nontraditional resolutions. 

One year – 2012 to be exact – my resolution was to drink more wine. To be clear, more drinking wasn’t the goal so much as it was a symbolic antidote to my having realized that I was taking myself and my life way too seriously.

There were times that year when I would realize, “oops! It’s been weeks since I’ve had any wine!” … and then would promptly remedy that situation. 😊 My “more wine” resolution represented the larger, overarching goal, and the true intention behind my resolution: living less in Survival Mode, and more in Thrival Mode.

It was a resolution to savor the good stuff, and to loosen up for cryin’-out-loud. (It worked.)

As basic as it sounds, recognizing that ‘savoring the good stuff’ is what people who thrive do … I wanted THAT.

For many of us – and for very good reasons – thriving doesn’t come easily. 

If life has taught you to be on guard, worried, careful, self-protective, defensive, armored, alert at all times … then it makes total sense that you’d have to learn how to thrive.

And like most learning curves, the process can be awkward. What seems “basic” to others may be a significant pattern interruption for a “thrival” newbie – one that requires real effort, frequent reminders, and significant shifts in thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

It is a normal part of any learning process for there to be some flailing and fumbling before new approaches and new experiences feel truly good.

If life has taught you that THRIVING involves letting your guard down in a way that feels unsettling, then it is totally understandable to feel like a fish out of water.

Even “savoring the good stuff” can feel strange, illogical, inconvenient – at first.

Surrounding yourself with the right support as you consciously recalibrate towards thriving, helps a lot. Having frequent reminders and personalized support as you make those shifts in beliefs and behaviors – as you establish a new normal – makes an enormous difference in helping to ensure that you don’t revert back to your old familiar ways.

Many, in an effort to avoid the work of making conscious shifts, or having to endure those awkward newbie moments, choose instead to just stay where they are. They default to Survival Mode because it’s what’s familiar, because it’s what’s KNOWN.

My wish for YOU is that 2024 is a Year of Thrival.

Refreshingly unlike anything else that I know of in the coaching/author space, I have created The Brule Breakers Club, a place where you get to PRACTICE fully implementing the learnings and the implementation process required to THRIVE.

You, of course, are welcome. I’ll be sharing more in the weeks to come about how to dig into your personal psychology and how to master the art of thriving…

But for now, I’m curious – do YOU have any unconventional resolutions for yourself this year?

Love,

Tara Sage

Applied Psychology Coach & Author of The Brules of Life

Break some brules!

Break some brules!

There was a time in my life – before my business, before my book, before my speaking career – when I was in a job that I hated, drowning in student loan debt, and living in a basement apartment with my cat. I felt utterly trapped, and I absolutely WISHED things were different but I was struggling to see my way out.

While desperately wanting something different, it felt like salt on my wounds when others (smart, caring, well-meaning people) thought my circumstances were NORMAL.

It’s considered surprisingly normal to have student loan debt that’ll take decades to pay off. It is considered entirely normal to work at a job you tolerate, to live for weekends and dread Mondays. It’s considered normal to be tired, frazzled, and feel like there’s never enough hours in the day.

And, sadly, it’s considered normal for the dreams you have for your life to gather dust.

It’s normal, sometimes, for us to be doing all the “right” things – to be suffering and dreaming while we’re there – and, through all of that, have people telling us “this is just the way it is.” Pursuing a story-worthy life without regrets is not only generally considered odd, but ridiculous and irresponsible.

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that all of this is the result of a society steeped in “brules” (a.k.a. BS rules).

I discovered how “brules” were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals.

“Working in a strong career track is responsible, so you should stay no matter how much you hate it.”

“It’s better to be safe than risk it all and be sorry.”

“Given your student loan debt, embrace basement dwelling because it’s affordable.”

I discovered how these so-called “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. I discovered how brules – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us.

Yes, I was doing the “responsible thing.” But I felt trapped and miserable.

It was keeping me away from my dreams.

So, I set out to learn how to break them.

And it changed everything.

From there, I redesigned my whole life, blazed the trail of my own business, and even wrote books on the topic.

And now, I’ve created The Brule Breakers Club so that YOU can break brules and live differently too. The Brule Breakers Club is a space that supports and encourages you to realize that change is possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That ALL that you want is possible.

Your dream life, and dream career. Your dream finances, dream relationships and dream living situation. And your dream travels…

Whatever your dreams are, they are POSSIBLE, if you break the “brules” that tell you you can’t.

I invite you to take the leap and become a Brule Breaker.

A brule breaker is a person who doesn’t settle for status quo “it’s just the way it is” existence.

Rather than default to “norms,” they question convention, they challenge unhelpful narratives that keep most people in a box. They go beyond where most stop, where most people are kept from pursuing their dreams and goals. They break the brules.

Brule breaking isn’t easy.

Since brules are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview, they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned.

Brule breakers do the work of deconstructing brules. They identify default patterns and they challenge psychological and behavioral blind spots so that they can live their best life without false limitations.

This is best done in a supportive space that encourages you to realize that change IS possible, that what you WANT is possible.

That’s why I created The Brule Breakers Club. Brule breakers are dreamers and doers, trail blazers that help one another make the changes needed to live their dreams and become self-actualized. Brule breaking changes everything. Breaking the brules of life is what helps you create a new kind of freedom.

>>> Visit bookofbrules.com for details & join now! 

Independence is a myth and THIS is what’s real  

Independence is a myth and THIS is what’s real  

Independence is a myth.

I challenge you to bring to mind one thing you do that is truly independent of all others.

What comes to mind? Is it truly and completely independent?

The reality is, if you are using anything made by or involving other people to do anything, you are not independent. 

This is not a bad thing, though I can certainly empathize if, like I did, you have wrapped aspects of your identity around the idea of independence and have the challenge of unraveling it ahead of you. 

Evidence of your inherent interdependence is everywhere.

Here’s a little exercise to demonstrate this:

The very water you drink: Do you go to a well to get it? Did you dig the well? Did you build the bucket you use to hold water? If so, did you make the tools you used to make the bucket? Did you cut down the tree that gave you the wood for the tools used to make the bucket and the chair you sit in? Who made the shoes and clothes that keep you warm?

“If you’re thinking, “I bought those things and my means allow my independence,” consider, who printed the money you used to purchase them? What service or product did you provide to earn it? To whom did you provide it? Who taught you your trade? How did the money earned find its way into your account? Who manages the money you have?

Independence is a grand delusion. And a harmful one at that.

(👆 All of the above is an excerpt from my book, The Brules of Life.)

Independence is detrimental to your dreams because it means you’ll be trying to do it all alone. And that is unsustainable and exhausting.

Deconstructing the myth of independence is key to living your dreams and creating a life you don’t need a vacation from because, truth be told, we can’t – and we don’t – do it alone.

Embracing this fact allows you to be an active receiver, of not only support, but also your dream. Often, in order to accept support requires us to give up any false narrative, or egoic pride about being “self-made” or “independent.”

We are interdependent. 

Leaning into this is a proactive strategy and a skill all its own, to create conscious partnerships and collaborations – in our relationships, our families, our businesses, our communities, and our world.

Along the lines of intentional conscious collaboration, one question my clients and I explore together is: “Who’s on your Dream Team?”

While I am obviously a royal member of my clients’ Dream Team 😉 … one of the many ways I support them in this role is in helping them build out their Dream Team to include others who help and support them in all the ways. 

I want my clients to be fully supported, to have not just me, but a freakin’ village if that’s what’ll serve them best. We ALL need support, and intentionally establishing a team of support is how we create and enhance our own personal Culture of Dreaming (a space where dreams expand, evolve, and are realized right and left).

Since we can’t — and don’t — do it alone, THIS is what creates a life that is so fully aligned and satisfying and creative and expansive and fun AND has next level support for greater ease, joy, impact, and flow…

So, as a celebration of YOUR interdependence, imagine your very own personal Dream Team, and ask:

  • What kind of support would bring YOU greater ease, joy, impact, and flow?
  • Who do you want on your Dream Team? Why?
  • What are the qualities, specialities, expertise, and services that nourish and support YOU?
  • And who don’t you want on your Dream Team? Why? (Also super important and informative to recognize.)

When it comes to pursuing your dreams, I find that you generally tend to find out pretty quickly who’s on board with you and your dreams, and who’s not. 

Naysayers especially tend to make themselves known. Like crabs who try to pull each other back into the bucket, there may be people in your life saying, “no! don’t change, don’t move, don’t shift careers, don’t go for that dream, etc…” 

In The Dream Acceleration Program, we do both! 

We create your dream team AND we create your naysayer navigation plan!

We get clear on what your Dream Team of support entails, and we ALSO get you set up and confident in determining your Naysayer Navigation Plan™ so that you know how and when and who to delegate to, how to build and establish even more community and support around your dreams, how to manage your energy, and also how to insulate and protect your dreams from naysayers who poo-poo what you’re up to or try to convince you that you can’t. 

Ready to expand your Dream Team with its newest member? … ME! 😀 If so, claim a FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment Call, a 1:1 conversation to explore how I can personally support and serve you and your dreams. Set yourself up with the right support and a customized plan to get on the fast-track to the life you dream of.

 

Who the frig do I think I AM?!

Who the frig do I think I AM?!

I have a dream that makes my insides shake. 

It’s visceral. Just the thought has me squealing… and a bit nauseous, like the urgent need to find a chair in the shade is all there is.

When I coach someone, anyone, on dream acceleration, the first step is always clarifying and declaring WHAT you want – in this case, what I want.

Sounds simple enough. But, given the noise of the world, societal norms, “shoulds,” the expectations of others, and your own sense of limitation… defining what you want can often be very confusing, even confronting! 

I’ve achieved many of my own dreams over the years, and they all started out that way.

Things like: a travel-filled lifestyle, a location-independent business doing work I love, the joy of knowing I help people realize their dreams and rediscover themselves, time freedom, love and partnership, tacos whenever I want… 😉

Naming your dreams, acknowledging your dreams, giving voice to what is in your heart, and imagining what might be possible, is such a powerful and critical step.  

Even if

  • you have no idea how in the world to make it happen…
  • people tell you your dreams are impossible…
  • you YOURSELF doubt that they are possible!

Your dreams, like mine, are fuel on your path to self-actualization.

At this stage, you do NOT need to know HOW to get what you want. 

Owning the clarity of WHAT you want is not – I repeat! – is NOT, not even the tiniest bit, about also knowing HOW to get it. That comes later.

This can be freeing, if you allow it to be. Even if your stomach is turning inside out, which might just be an unavoidable part of the experience. 🤢

In this case, it is for me.

My dream is to author an entire Book of Brules series, that reaches MILLIONS of people around the world. (Eeek!) 

Millions, is no joke. Hundreds of thousands even, is no joke.

And it isn’t likely to happen by accident.  

Sooooo… when I learned of a training, happening in ITALY, about how to write a killer book proposal, to pitch to a literary agent, in an effort to get representation, to secure a traditional publishing deal contract for you, a 6-figure advance to write your book, positioning you to reach millions of readers … I felt like I got struck by lightning. 

“Ohmygod,” I thought, “I need to be there.”

Then,

“Imma gonna go!” 🇮🇹

That’s when all hell broke loose. 

“HOW am I going to be there??” 

It felt like what it would take to actually GET myself there, would break my brain. 

There was the investment of time, money, and logistics, of course. But even more than all that, EVERY self-doubting inner saboteur was on fire, like they had just been waiting for this very moment to 🔥blaze🔥and give me a whopping smoke-filled plume of “who do you think you are?”

My thoughts went haywire. 

I called friends. 

I cried big scared horse tears. 

Who am I to think I could actually DO this?!

Seriously. Who am I to think little ol’ me could get a traditional book deal?!

Who am I to think I could walk into that room and think that I am a contender for a 6-figure advance to write my next book?!

My first book in the series, The Brules of Life, was a beast of a project, a labor of love that I have ZERO regrets about investing in. But – to be clear, I paid a book coach, and an editor, and a cover designer. I was published under a small independent publishing house and had a very successful launch on Amazon, but after that, I was on my own. My highest “payment” from sales isn’t the $5 per book commission I earn, it’s the deep gratification of knowing the impact the book has on the lives of those who read it.

Back to that blazing inner saboteur…

Who am I to walk into that room, alongside 8-figure business owners with hundreds of thousands of followers, and think that my little biz, with my 5,000 or so followers, could be eligible for such a thing?

Like, on what planet does that make sense? Who am I to walk into a room of powerhouse people with more success, more notoriety, more backing, and more influence than me … and think that I belong?

Who am I to think my books could reach MILLIONS?

I mean, really, Tara. Put down the coffee, and get a grip.

.

.

.

A few days went by. 

My brain and body processed. 

I ate too much.
I exercised a lot. 
There were lots of deep breaths. 

I asked for guidance.

Eventually, my nervous system began to settle. 

I like to think that maybe it was the spirit of my sweet Italian grandmother (Margherita Angelina Lena Cominelli Giannoni, we called her Rita 😉 ) giving me a loving nudge, when, a counter-thought to all that fear and doubt and who-the-frig-did-I-think-I-was surfaced in the form of a new question:

“Why not me?”   

Hmmm….. yeh…. why the frig NOT me?????

I immediately noticed how much better that question felt to be asking.

From THAT space, I decided to apply for the training. I filled out the application. I gave thoughtful answers to their thoughtful questions. I hit send. 

The narrative behind my self-talk had shifted: “Why not me? Why NOT me?…” 

As I tell my clients… you get to dream big, bold, beautiful, exciting, exhilarating, I-have-no-idea-how-to-make-it-happen dreams!

And so do I. I get to dream big, bold, beautiful, exciting, exhilarating, I-have-no-idea-how-to-make-it-happen dreams!

I also get to decide to show up, as the Big Me, and trust and believe that my dreams can be made real. That there IS a way. Even if I can’t see how yet.

I can choose to put faith in the truth of my desires, trusting that my dreams are in my heart for a reason.

That showing up for them, believing they are possible, despite all seeming evidence to the contrary, IS the powermove. 

Over these next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more as it all unfolds. I hope you’ll join me on this journey. I want it to be helpful – not just to me and my dreams, but to you and yours. 

What I know is this:

“How” shows up when you do. 

Shrinking your dreams down, because you think that’s more practical, isn’t. All that does is water down your dreams, diminish their energy and their spark, and make yourself smaller in the process. 

Let’s NOT do that.

Dream the dream that has ENERGY in it, the one that saying it out loud makes you quiver. 

The one that, in order for you to REALIZE it, requires you to grow and become a next level version of yourself. 

Decide to BE the person who grows into your belief that it’s possible. 

Make quantum leap decisions that align with the person who would REALIZE that dream.  

Activate that “why not me?” confidence and “I’m doing it” terror er, I mean, excitement.

Show up in the room.

Stay tuned…

❤️

Tara Sage

PS – If you’re ready to go after your dreams, I know how scary it can be, and I’m doing this right along with you. I’ve gone through my own Dream Acceleration Process countless times and here I am embarking on it yet again, with this dream. Let’s do it together! I will support you through it, every step of the way. Book a session now so we can determine your best plan of action.