Independence is a myth.
I challenge you to bring to mind one thing you do that is truly independent of all others.
What comes to mind? Is it truly and completely independent?
The reality is, if you are using anything made by or involving other people to do anything, you are not independent.
This is not a bad thing, though I can certainly empathize if, like I did, you have wrapped aspects of your identity around the idea of independence and have the challenge of unraveling it ahead of you.
Evidence of your inherent interdependence is everywhere.
Here’s a little exercise to demonstrate this:
The very water you drink: Do you go to a well to get it? Did you dig the well? Did you build the bucket you use to hold water? If so, did you make the tools you used to make the bucket? Did you cut down the tree that gave you the wood for the tools used to make the bucket and the chair you sit in? Who made the shoes and clothes that keep you warm?
“If you’re thinking, “I bought those things and my means allow my independence,” consider, who printed the money you used to purchase them? What service or product did you provide to earn it? To whom did you provide it? Who taught you your trade? How did the money earned find its way into your account? Who manages the money you have?
Independence is a grand delusion. And a harmful one at that.
(👆 All of the above is an excerpt from my book, The Brules of Life.)
Independence is detrimental to your dreams because it means you’ll be trying to do it all alone. And that is unsustainable and exhausting.
Deconstructing the myth of independence is key to living your dreams and creating a life you don’t need a vacation from because, truth be told, we can’t – and we don’t – do it alone.
Embracing this fact allows you to be an active receiver, of not only support, but also your dream. Often, in order to accept support requires us to give up any false narrative, or egoic pride about being “self-made” or “independent.”
We are interdependent.
Leaning into this is a proactive strategy and a skill all its own, to create conscious partnerships and collaborations – in our relationships, our families, our businesses, our communities, and our world.
Along the lines of intentional conscious collaboration, one question my clients and I explore together is: “Who’s on your Dream Team?”
While I am obviously a royal member of my clients’ Dream Team 😉 … one of the many ways I support them in this role is in helping them build out their Dream Team to include others who help and support them in all the ways.
I want my clients to be fully supported, to have not just me, but a freakin’ village if that’s what’ll serve them best. We ALL need support, and intentionally establishing a team of support is how we create and enhance our own personal Culture of Dreaming (a space where dreams expand, evolve, and are realized right and left).
Since we can’t — and don’t — do it alone, THIS is what creates a life that is so fully aligned and satisfying and creative and expansive and fun AND has next level support for greater ease, joy, impact, and flow…
So, as a celebration of YOUR interdependence, imagine your very own personal Dream Team, and ask:
- What kind of support would bring YOU greater ease, joy, impact, and flow?
- Who do you want on your Dream Team? Why?
- What are the qualities, specialities, expertise, and services that nourish and support YOU?
- And who don’t you want on your Dream Team? Why? (Also super important and informative to recognize.)
When it comes to pursuing your dreams, I find that you generally tend to find out pretty quickly who’s on board with you and your dreams, and who’s not.
Naysayers especially tend to make themselves known. Like crabs who try to pull each other back into the bucket, there may be people in your life saying, “no! don’t change, don’t move, don’t shift careers, don’t go for that dream, etc…”
In The Dream Acceleration Program, we do both!
We create your dream team AND we create your naysayer navigation plan!
We get clear on what your Dream Team of support entails, and we ALSO get you set up and confident in determining your Naysayer Navigation Plan™ so that you know how and when and who to delegate to, how to build and establish even more community and support around your dreams, how to manage your energy, and also how to insulate and protect your dreams from naysayers who poo-poo what you’re up to or try to convince you that you can’t.
Ready to expand your Dream Team with its newest member? … ME! 😀 If so, claim a FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment Call, a 1:1 conversation to explore how I can personally support and serve you and your dreams. Set yourself up with the right support and a customized plan to get on the fast-track to the life you dream of.
At 16 years old, while visiting my grandparents, I convinced my grandfather to drop me off at the nearby beach. He was reluctant, but agreed.
When, a few hours later, he returned to pick me up, there was a “young man” sitting on the edge of my towel.
I remember it vividly. My Sicilian grandfather walked over, stood within a few inches of my towel, and without any introduction, said, “Young man, what do you do?”
The young man answered proudly:
“I lay brick.”
After a brief pause, my grandfather motioned his head in a way that led with his chin. The young man was quick to be on his way.
Clearly, at least from my grandfather’s perspective, laying brick wasn’t good enough. Perhaps because we think that that job is a little beneath us, isn’t making a real difference, doesn’t require skill or education… none of which is probably true.
I hadn’t thought of this story in ages.
But after a recent coaching call with one of my clients, it popped to mind.
We were discussing approaches to put structures, systems, and policies in place to help ensure that her non-profit organization, a legacy-driven leadership mission, outlives her.
I sometimes speak in metaphors on coaching calls.
On this particular call, the power of laying one brick at a time to create something built to last served as a helpful reframe on some tasks that felt daunting, perhaps unnecessary, and wished to be avoided.
Brick laying isn’t full of glory. It’s hard labor, exposed to the elements, hands in the dirt work that requires sweat equity to get the job done.
It’s worth noting too that people tend to dress up, applaud, and take photos to commemorate ribbon cutting ceremonies. But brick laying? Not so much. That’s the dirty work, often done by unsung heroes.
I think we need to celebrate the brick layers.
Those who take the time to lay one brick at a time, to build something to last, are invaluable. Not to mention the fact that if the craft of brick laying isn’t done well and with skill and attention, ultimately, the foundation will crumble and the building will fall.
I’m not just talking about physical structures. A strong foundation is needed for everything and anything you value and wish to last.
Intentionally placed bricks create a strong ready-to-be-built-on foundation.
Taking the metaphor one step further, when it comes to dreaming your life to be what you wish and imagine it could be … guess what?
YOU are the foundation that your dreams are built on.
Not unlike the foundation of a house, one key piece to the coaching I do is helping to really strengthen this foundation for and with you – and that, *is* YOU. Your feelings, your skills, your plans, your mind/body/subconscious getting fully on board to make your dreams easier to achieve.
This is so important because WITHOUT this foundation, when the “wind” blows … (say, an unexpected expense pops up, or you get a stomach bug and need to rest, or someone you love and trust tells you your dream isn’t realistic) … your dreams will still stand strong despite this.
Recognizing that YOU are the foundation your dreams are built on, can lead to some powerful new choices. When you strengthen that foundation, your world expands.
With this approach, the foundation that is YOU is ready for the next layer, building further, and the next, and the next…
Brick by brick.
There’s so much pride and momentum to be found in the nitty-gritty, as you BECOME the strong, ready foundation for the life and the dreams YOU are building.
While it may not be the work that gets all the glory, and it may not be the work that’s always fun, it is the work that sets the stage for your dreams.
Your dreams need YOU.
Your dreams need you to lay the bricks, and become the person, and do the things that will ultimately support THEM.
And, I will happily be your foreman/forewoman. 😊
I will celebrate every brick you lay.
So many people want to jump straight to the living-the-dream part. And while that’s amazing, it’s those solid bricks – stacked and secured with care and love and attention – that creates SUSTAINABLE dreams that are so much more fun to live in and build on.
The right support and coaching helps ensure that you stay with it, manage your energy, stay nourished and clear on the goal, one step and stage at a time. This is what makes it possible.
I am that coach and if this speaks to you, I want to help.
I have openings now for my FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment, a 1:1 conversation where we will…get you clarity on your dreams, and create a strategic next steps plan with specific next action steps to get joyfully on track and deepen your awareness about how to magnify what’s working – and shift what isn’t – so you can create your desired future with clarity, confidence, and ease.
Go to www.sessionwithtara.com to grab one.
Apply the power of “laying brick” to your life, relationships, business, or anything else you want and value… and there will be many ribbon cuttings to come!
“I really want to work with a coach. But what do I GET for my investment, you know?”
A woman at one of my book signing events asked me this, expressing interest in coaching and skepticism in coaching – all in one breath.
She told me about almost hiring a coach earlier this year, but ultimately deciding not to because the coach couldn’t “convince” her [read: provide her certainty about] what she would GET for the price of coaching.
A valid question. I certainly understand the intangibility of it, and how investing in coaching can feel like a chicken-and-egg question.
I mean, when you pay for, say, a new phone, you get …a new phone.
When you pay for a trip to Spain you get a trip to Spain.
But when you pay for COACHING, what do you GET??
Let’s unpack this a bit.
Imagine you and I are having this conversation, and you ask: “When I pay for coaching, what do I GET? What’s the promised outcome? Not how much time and personal attention do I get from you, Tara … but what is the result I RECEIVE? After paying money for this service, what will I have to show for it? What’s my ROI gonna be?”
My first question to you is:
“What do you WANT it to be?” “What results do you WANT?” “How will you measure your own success?” “How will you know when you have succeeded at creating your dream life?” “What specifically will that look like and feel like to YOU?” “When you imagine your no-vacation-needed, deeply satisfying, regrets-free life, what do you see? Paint me THAT picture so that I can see it with you.”
👆 These are all versions of the same critical question.
Step 1 of my signature Dream Acceleration Process is: DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT.
(For many people, this step is the most challenging of them all.)
Once you’re able to define what you WANT, it is a lot easier to:
(1) Go after it.
(2) Invest in it.
(3) Ensure that you get it!
Your dream is my dream. And when we roll up our sleeves together about it … buckle up!
⭐ Finding the right support for you
⭐ Finding a coach that you jive with
⭐ Finding a proven process that’s going to quicken your results
⭐ Finding someone who will hold you accountable and guide you forward with care, commitment, and respect
⭐ Investing in yourself in this way
… what you GET is life-changing.
What you get is your dream and the right support for your journey.
Getting clear on what you want is what we do in The No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint Training.
Already know what you want and ready to set yourself up with support to accelerate your path to getting it? Check out The Dream Acceleration Program.
YOU are your best asset. You are worth investing in, right now, from exactly where you are.
Ready to take that first step to discover your dreams and how you’re going to start living them right now? Book a free Session with Tara