Independence is a myth and THIS is what’s real  

Independence is a myth and THIS is what’s real  

Independence is a myth.

I challenge you to bring to mind one thing you do that is truly independent of all others.

What comes to mind? Is it truly and completely independent?

The reality is, if you are using anything made by or involving other people to do anything, you are not independent. 

This is not a bad thing, though I can certainly empathize if, like I did, you have wrapped aspects of your identity around the idea of independence and have the challenge of unraveling it ahead of you. 

Evidence of your inherent interdependence is everywhere.

Here’s a little exercise to demonstrate this:

The very water you drink: Do you go to a well to get it? Did you dig the well? Did you build the bucket you use to hold water? If so, did you make the tools you used to make the bucket? Did you cut down the tree that gave you the wood for the tools used to make the bucket and the chair you sit in? Who made the shoes and clothes that keep you warm?

“If you’re thinking, “I bought those things and my means allow my independence,” consider, who printed the money you used to purchase them? What service or product did you provide to earn it? To whom did you provide it? Who taught you your trade? How did the money earned find its way into your account? Who manages the money you have?

Independence is a grand delusion. And a harmful one at that.

(👆 All of the above is an excerpt from my book, The Brules of Life.)

Independence is detrimental to your dreams because it means you’ll be trying to do it all alone. And that is unsustainable and exhausting.

Deconstructing the myth of independence is key to living your dreams and creating a life you don’t need a vacation from because, truth be told, we can’t – and we don’t – do it alone.

Embracing this fact allows you to be an active receiver, of not only support, but also your dream. Often, in order to accept support requires us to give up any false narrative, or egoic pride about being “self-made” or “independent.”

We are interdependent. 

Leaning into this is a proactive strategy and a skill all its own, to create conscious partnerships and collaborations – in our relationships, our families, our businesses, our communities, and our world.

Along the lines of intentional conscious collaboration, one question my clients and I explore together is: “Who’s on your Dream Team?”

While I am obviously a royal member of my clients’ Dream Team 😉 … one of the many ways I support them in this role is in helping them build out their Dream Team to include others who help and support them in all the ways. 

I want my clients to be fully supported, to have not just me, but a freakin’ village if that’s what’ll serve them best. We ALL need support, and intentionally establishing a team of support is how we create and enhance our own personal Culture of Dreaming (a space where dreams expand, evolve, and are realized right and left).

Since we can’t — and don’t — do it alone, THIS is what creates a life that is so fully aligned and satisfying and creative and expansive and fun AND has next level support for greater ease, joy, impact, and flow…

So, as a celebration of YOUR interdependence, imagine your very own personal Dream Team, and ask:

  • What kind of support would bring YOU greater ease, joy, impact, and flow?
  • Who do you want on your Dream Team? Why?
  • What are the qualities, specialities, expertise, and services that nourish and support YOU?
  • And who don’t you want on your Dream Team? Why? (Also super important and informative to recognize.)

When it comes to pursuing your dreams, I find that you generally tend to find out pretty quickly who’s on board with you and your dreams, and who’s not. 

Naysayers especially tend to make themselves known. Like crabs who try to pull each other back into the bucket, there may be people in your life saying, “no! don’t change, don’t move, don’t shift careers, don’t go for that dream, etc…” 

In The Dream Acceleration Program, we do both! 

We create your dream team AND we create your naysayer navigation plan!

We get clear on what your Dream Team of support entails, and we ALSO get you set up and confident in determining your Naysayer Navigation Plan™ so that you know how and when and who to delegate to, how to build and establish even more community and support around your dreams, how to manage your energy, and also how to insulate and protect your dreams from naysayers who poo-poo what you’re up to or try to convince you that you can’t. 

Ready to expand your Dream Team with its newest member? … ME! 😀 If so, claim a FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment Call, a 1:1 conversation to explore how I can personally support and serve you and your dreams. Set yourself up with the right support and a customized plan to get on the fast-track to the life you dream of.


“I lay brick”

“I lay brick”

At 16 years old, while visiting my grandparents, I convinced my grandfather to drop me off at the nearby beach. He was reluctant, but agreed.

When, a few hours later, he returned to pick me up, there was a “young man” sitting on the edge of my towel. 

I remember it vividly. My Sicilian grandfather walked over, stood within a few inches of my towel, and without any introduction, said, “Young man, what do you do?”

The young man answered proudly: 

“I lay brick.”

After a brief pause, my grandfather motioned his head in a way that led with his chin. The young man was quick to be on his way.

Clearly, at least from my grandfather’s perspective, laying brick wasn’t good enough. Perhaps because we think that that job is a little beneath us, isn’t making a real difference, doesn’t require skill or education… none of which is probably true.

I hadn’t thought of this story in ages.

But after a recent coaching call with one of my clients, it popped to mind.

We were discussing approaches to put structures, systems, and policies in place to help ensure that her non-profit organization, a legacy-driven leadership mission, outlives her. 

I sometimes speak in metaphors on coaching calls. 

On this particular call, the power of laying one brick at a time to create something built to last served as a helpful reframe on some tasks that felt daunting, perhaps unnecessary, and wished to be avoided. 

Brick laying isn’t full of glory. It’s hard labor, exposed to the elements, hands in the dirt work that requires sweat equity to get the job done.

It’s worth noting too that people tend to dress up, applaud, and take photos to commemorate ribbon cutting ceremonies. But brick laying? Not so much. That’s the dirty work, often done by unsung heroes.

I think we need to celebrate the brick layers. 

Those who take the time to lay one brick at a time, to build something to last, are invaluable. Not to mention the fact that if the craft of brick laying isn’t done well and with skill and attention, ultimately, the foundation will crumble and the building will fall.

I’m not just talking about physical structures. A strong foundation is needed for everything and anything you value and wish to last.

Intentionally placed bricks create a strong ready-to-be-built-on foundation.

Taking the metaphor one step further, when it comes to dreaming your life to be what you wish and imagine it could be … guess what? 

YOU are the foundation that your dreams are built on.

Not unlike the foundation of a house, one key piece to the coaching I do is helping to really strengthen this foundation for and with you – and that, *is* YOU. Your feelings, your skills, your plans, your mind/body/subconscious getting fully on board to make your dreams easier to achieve.

This is so important because WITHOUT this foundation, when the “wind” blows … (say, an unexpected expense pops up, or you get a stomach bug and need to rest, or someone you love and trust tells you your dream isn’t realistic) … your dreams will still stand strong despite this. 

Recognizing that YOU are the foundation your dreams are built on, can lead to some powerful new choices. When you strengthen that foundation, your world expands.

With this approach, the foundation that is YOU is ready for the next layer, building further, and the next, and the next…

Brick by brick.

There’s so much pride and momentum to be found in the nitty-gritty, as you BECOME the strong, ready foundation for the life and the dreams YOU are building. 

While it may not be the work that gets all the glory, and it may not be the work that’s always fun, it is the work that sets the stage for your dreams. 

Your dreams need YOU.

Your dreams need you to lay the bricks, and become the person, and do the things that will ultimately support THEM.

And, I will happily be your foreman/forewoman. 😊

I will celebrate every brick you lay. 

So many people want to jump straight to the living-the-dream part. And while that’s amazing, it’s those solid bricks – stacked and secured with care and love and attention – that creates SUSTAINABLE dreams that are so much more fun to live in and build on. 

The right support and coaching helps ensure that you stay with it, manage your energy, stay nourished and clear on the goal, one step and stage at a time. This is what makes it possible. 

I am that coach and if this speaks to you, I want to help. 

I have openings now for my FREE Top Shelf Session with Tara Assessment, a 1:1 conversation where we will…get you clarity on your dreams, and create a strategic next steps plan with specific next action steps to get joyfully on track and deepen your awareness about how to magnify what’s working – and shift what isn’t – so you can create your desired future with clarity, confidence, and ease.

Go to to grab one.

Apply the power of “laying brick” to your life, relationships, business, or anything else you want and value… and there will be many ribbon cuttings to come!  

That time I lost $18,000

That time I lost $18,000


I called it a leap of faith. But in retrospect it was foolish.

A few years back, I made a bad financial decision.

I paid $10,000 to have someone run ads for me. I told myself that I was investing in something that was going to help me grow my business, to reach and ultimately serve more people. I assumed her shiny advertising, financial claims, and willingness to take my money (er, I mean, take me on as a client) meant next level success for me was inevitable.

On top of paying her $10,000 fee, I, of course, had to pay too for the ads themselves. Meeting over Zoom each week, for months, she gave me weekly updates on the “testing” of various ad campaigns that she and her team were doing on my behalf, always implying that my ROI was just around the corner. Welp, another $8,000 later, I pulled the plug. I sent her an email and asked for a refund on “services” that not only resulted in zero ROI, but an $18,000 LOSS.

Her reply? She blocked me on all social media channels and stopped taking my calls.

I contacted the Better Business Bureau. I spoke to lawyers.

And quickly learned that I had little recourse. A tough pill to swallow.

Lessons Learned

Determined to get SOME value out of the experience (which felt not only like a financial failure but also a painful and costly loss of time), here were my two biggest lessons learned:

1.) I gained a lesson in discernment. Instead of asking the hard questions, like, “what does my business need in order to grow?” and “what kind of support will best help me do that?”… I hoped, and chose to bank on the idea that throwing money at something would be the solution. I wanted to believe that making big business investments and bold moves made me some kind of brave “big leap” hero human boss.

But the truth is, I was avoiding work I very much needed to do and very much wanted to skip over. In hiring her, I had (attempted to) outsource. But what I actually did was give away the reins. I am responsible for that mistake. Seeking expert support is one thing. Handing over the reins to someone for a “Done For You” service that takes you out of the loop of your own business’ leadership, is foolish. The same is true for your life.

2.) This experience taught me what kind of support I actually needed. I needed someone who would partner with me, ask the tough questions, challenge me, teach me, and help me organize systems and strategies that work for me. Trial and error, getting in the arena, being willing to endure some growing pains, ALL required. This cannot be outsourced. But – having someone who is there for my questions, who prompts me to go further than I ever would on my own, who provides me with expertise that isn’t my own, who offers a sounding board for ideas, who recommends tweaks, edits, and ”try again”s, and who – especially when all I can see is what’s right in front of me – has the foresight, experience, and clear plan for how to navigate what’s just around the bend. INVALUABLE.

Having someone on my ‘Dream Team’ who holds the space for me when I bump up against my comfort zone, who teaches me what’s needed when the limits of my own knowledge leave me unsure, cannot be calculated. Bottom line: I needed to do the work AND hold the reins. But – I didn’t need to do it unsupported. Success becomes inevitable when you have the right support.      

It’s scary to do the work that makes all the difference.

It’s challenging to learn new skills and let go of old habits.

It can be hard to take responsibility for mistakes, and even harder to course correct.

But, I’m also here to say that the right support makes it all worth it. It’s the one clear way to ensure your results – your joy, your happiness, your dreams, your needs, your desires, your survival, your THRIVAL.

And that’s WHY I spent that money. Because I know and understand that investing in yourself (and in your business) is so powerful and important. But – with so many options and offers out there, the biggest challenge can be finding the support that is right for YOU.

Finding the right support

The right support is not about just finding a quick solution or someone else solving your problem. It’s about widening your own lens and holding yourself accountable to taking the next step. It’s about showing up for what you say you want, even when it’s hard. It’s about understanding why you haven’t been able to create a result before, with the resources that you have.

For me, for example, a Facebook ad wasn’t going to get me to the next level of success if what was really needed was improved messaging. Do you see what I mean?

There are FIVE ELEMENTS that make private coaching with me a unique and powerful combo.

As you read each one, I invite you to consider: How might this help YOU get to the next level of your own success?

(1) Energy management – Learn why ‘time management’ is not the answer, and what to do instead. I provide you with the exact tools, teachings, and strategies to stop feeling scattered and like you don’t have enough time for the things you want to do. I’ll be there to help you understand and apply this pivotal approach, do a comprehensive ‘energy inventory’, and support you through every step of its implementation so that you can free yourself from time constraints and experience next-level personal freedom.

(2) “Brule” breaking – “Brule” is slang for bullshit rules. Brules are blind spots, and what makes them so hard to see is that they hide in plain sight! For this reason, brules typically go unnoticed and unquestioned. I literally wrote the book on the subject and I promise, I’m going to help you see them. There are countless brules. But, even ONE single brule breakthrough has the power to positively impact absolutely every area of your life. Once you start seeing them, once you start seeing the blind spots that’ve been holding you back, you won’t be able to unsee them. And this changes

(3) Dream acceleration – Dreams are the voice of your soul. Together, we will unlock your access to hear this voice with beautiful clarity and see your way to the truth of what you REALLY want. From there, I will guide you through a proven process to create it. Simple, fierce, supported. You’ll be on track, fast.

(4) Thought work – As obstacles pop up, you’ll have steadfast support on your side to do the inner work to stop self-limiting beliefs from running the show so that you can take back the wheel, moving forward while being kind to yourself.

(5) Behavior mod – My psychology education, training, and experience is deeply rooted in behavior modification. I’ll teach you proven techniques to overcome your fears, activate your courage, and build powerful new supportive habits that stick!

When you become a private coaching client of mine, all of these get rolled into one totally customized-to-you experience!

The right support is what makes ALL the difference.

It’s the difference between achieving your dreams and always wondering what could have been.

It’s the difference between finally seeing your blind spots, awakening to a new kind of freedom, and continuing to struggle to make a change.

It’s the difference between having breakthroughs you celebrate, and having fear and resistance run the show.

It’s the difference between consistently showing up for what you want and endlessly ruminating about what you want.

It’s the difference between momentum and celebration, and stagnation and frustration.

Wanna experience this for yourself? Click here


“But what do I get for my coaching investment?”

“But what do I get for my coaching investment?”

“I really want to work with a coach. But what do I GET for my investment, you know?”

A woman at one of my book signing events asked me this, expressing interest in coaching and skepticism in coaching – all in one breath.

She told me about almost hiring a coach earlier this year, but ultimately deciding not to because the coach couldn’t “convince” her [read: provide her certainty about] what she would GET for the price of coaching.

A valid question. I certainly understand the intangibility of it, and how investing in coaching can feel like a chicken-and-egg question.

I mean, when you pay for, say, a new phone, you get …a new phone.

When you pay for a trip to Spain you get a trip to Spain.

But when you pay for COACHING, what do you GET??

Let’s unpack this a bit.

Imagine you and I are having this conversation, and you ask: “When I pay for coaching, what do I GET? What’s the promised outcome? Not how much time and personal attention do I get from you, Tara … but what is the result I RECEIVE? After paying money for this service, what will I have to show for it? What’s my ROI gonna be?”

My first question to you is: 

“What do you WANT it to be?” “What results do you WANT?” “How will you measure your own success?” “How will you know when you have succeeded at creating your dream life?” “What specifically will that look like and feel like to YOU?” “When you imagine your no-vacation-needed, deeply satisfying, regrets-free life, what do you see? Paint me THAT picture so that I can see it with you.”

👆 These are all versions of the same critical question.

Step 1 of my signature Dream Acceleration Process is: DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT.

(For many people, this step is the most challenging of them all.)

Once you’re able to define what you WANT, it is a lot easier to:

(1) Go after it.
(2) Invest in it.

(3) Ensure that you get it!

Your dream is my dream. And when we roll up our sleeves together about it … buckle up!


⭐  Finding the right support for you 
⭐  Finding a coach that you jive with 

⭐  Finding a proven process that’s going to quicken your results 

⭐  Finding someone who will hold you accountable and guide you forward with care, commitment, and respect 

⭐  Investing in yourself in this way

… what you GET is life-changing.

What you get is your dream and the right support for your journey.

Getting clear on what you want is what we do in The No-Vacation-Needed Blueprint Training

Already know what you want and ready to set yourself up with support to accelerate your path to getting it? Check out The Dream Acceleration Program

YOU are your best asset. You are worth investing in, right now, from exactly where you are.

Ready to take that first step to discover your dreams and how you’re going to start living them right now?  Book a free Session with Tara

Tara Sage