Page 4 (of 5)

A product of society

While I didn’t know what to call it at the time, I eventually grew to understand that I was the product of a society steeped in “brules.”

In case you’re not familiar with the term, it’s slang. (My definition, as seen in Urban Dictionary, is below.) 

I discovered how “brules” (a.k.a. bullshit rules) were fueling unhelpful narratives, narratives that often keep people from believing in and pursuing their dreams and goals. Like, for example, “working at a fancy Ivy League university was a responsible career track that I should stay on no matter how much I hated it” and “who did I think I was to want something more or better?” and “given the amount of my student loan debt, I better embrace basement dwelling,” and “it’s better to be safe than sorry, so don’t risk a different kind of life.”

I discovered how these “facts of life” and “this is the way it is” beliefs were bullshit limits. I discovered how “brules” – social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned – were ruling not only my life, but the lives of ALL of us.

So, I set out to learn how to break them. 

And this changed everything. 

Claire shows up for the journey, the process, the long-game.

Jackie doesn’t. She hops from half-read book to half-read book and from coaching program to coaching program looking for a magic pill and magic person who will change it FOR her. 

Claire recognizes that she has blind spots and that she needs guidance, and therefore welcomes support and reminders about who she is and who she’s here to be.

Reminders like:

Abandoning yourself in order to tolerate circumstances that aren’t a match for you is an expense of precious life force. If maintaining the status quo requires that you abandon yourself to perpetuate it, and you STOP doing this, your circumstances will inevitably change.

Abandoning yourself in order to maintain connection with others isn’t healthy. If what is holding a relationship together is you abandoning yourself, and you STOP doing this, that relationship will either change or fall away.

Abandoning yourself in order to do things you find utterly draining and misaligned is an affront to your soul. If continuing to do these things requires you to keep selling a piece of your soul, and you STOP doing these things, your stand for who you know yourself to be will give your highest sense of Self the opportunity to surface and take the lead.

When we STOP these things, we can then see what needs to START.

Jackie doesn’t welcome being reminded of such truths. She prefers to continue doing what she thinks she “should” do. She prefers to hold others responsible for her circumstances. She spends precious energy stewing and waiting for them to change. She crosses her fingers that someone will eventually swoop in and save her, that a hero is coming for her.

Claire understands that, while guidance is available, she must become her own hero. 

Are you a Claire or a Jackie?

If you’re a committed Jackie, then this isn’t for you.

If, on the other hand, you are a Jackie-willing-to-become-a-Claire and you’d love and appreciate guidance and support along your journey… here are 3 more reminders, things that really stir the pot and allow for your dreams and goals to be realized:

Next: Part 5 (of 5): What it really takes


1.  “Brules” (bullshit rules) perpetuate bullshit limits. They are social constructs and commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned. Since we are all a product of society, we are all steeped in brules.  

2.  When we STOP abandoning ourself, what needs to START become clearer. On any personal development journey, the best guide is someone who helps you become your own hero.